It's been a while since my last post, so you'll find that this one is going to be to the point and filled with photos of what we have been up to. Alex shot his first turkey this year and he was blessed to have both his grandpa and his dad be a part of the hunt, and not only that-my nephew captured the hunt on video. Jake takes photos and videos through the lens of someone who has been in Alex's footsteps with regards to those amazing opportunities Alex has gotten to share with my dad, I am so thankful he captures it in a way that can be treasured.
Between work and children's activities, Jason also managed to get out turkey hunting and shot himself one. It's funny how life has changed, it used to be about making the time to get out and this particular hunt was him literally squeezing it in after work, and then rushing home in time to get a photo before dark!
Alex celebrated his 11th birthday, which is almost impossible to believe. Grandpa Jim made the trip over to help sing and blow out the candles, and his other grandparents came up to watch him participate in his first 3on3 basketball tournament. So while it wasn't typical, he certainly enjoyed a longer drawn out birthday, celebrating with many people. The realization that he has been with us more years than we have left with him is a sobering thought, but every year proves to be a lesson in letting go in one way or another-I think it's God's way of preparing us mentally, knowing we can't harness this amazing boy all to ourselves forever.
My parents made the trip over for a belated Mother's Day together, so we got my mom out for a 'little' hike. My intention wasn't to give her cardiac arrest, but to get her out and give her an appreciation for some of the amazing scenery on this side of the state. For 71 years old, she did pretty damn good, she was only a few yards from the very top of the bluff but that was far enough for her-the view was still amazing.
Laura participated in soccer this spring, and it is the first team sport she has participated in since she did the swim team a year or so ago. I think the break did her good, she came to the field with a different approach to organized sports as a whole, and playing on a team was something that helped her to truly love the experience. She had a great group of girls, as well as a real no nonsense coach, which was just what she needed. It's so interesting seeing all of my kid's personalities emerge, extra curricular activities can really bring out certain qualities more than others and I think that is really half the fun of watching them play, grow, and improve. She finished out her school year, and her experience this year has been night and day from her previous school setting-both academically and socially. She had a wonderful teacher who really made her feel valued, and that is a something that Laura really needed to experience. That combined with maturing and having a great support group of friends has made her transition seamless.
Ainslee Ruth graduated from Kindergarten last week, and the school put on this beautiful concert and ceremony. I was fortunate enough to spend a couple hours, twice a week in her classroom which allowed me to meet her classmates and get to know her teacher. It was sometimes what I would consider my 'outing' for the week, and I really think it was my lifeline on some of the tougher weeks for me. Having an adult conversation with her teacher, or just seeing the other kid's misbehave made me feel like maybe I wasn't failing at this parenting gig as bad as I thought.
Here they all are on the last day of school. I make a point to get a first day and last day shot in the same spot just so I can use the first photo as a comparison of how much they have changed. I sniffle at how Ainslee has lost her baby face, along with her baby teeth, lol. It brings tears to my eyes to think back on that first day photo and how we had to wait for Alex to dry the tears from his own eyes because of his mixed emotions of starting all over in a new school before taking that picture, and seeing now how happy he is-and how well he's transitioned. I am struck by how beautiful Laura is, inside and out. Some days she's a teenager stuck in an 8 year old's body, but she has this amazing personality that can help me to see something in a completely different light. The school had a talent show the last day, and as we left that last day I couldn't help but feel like 'we made it'. It was such a relief to walk out those doors, and know that we would be coming back-there was no unknown for the next year, and no feeling like we were closing this huge chapter in our life.
Speaking of closing huge chapters. . . . After having our home in Eldorado for sale for almost a year, we finally closed on it in early May. Words will never describe the emotions that went along with this chapter of living in limbo in our lives. We loved that house, Jason poured his craftsmanship into it while I cherished the fond memories that it held for our family, as well as my own childhood memories. However, that love started to feel like a double edged sword as it sat vacant, it became a burden to others, we couldn't celebrate the possibility of it being sold because some family members were struggling with their own emotions of letting that house go, and we couldn't talk about our emotions to other family members because they couldn't relate to our instrinsic feelings for a house on any level at all. As much as you want to tell yourself that it's a business transacation, neither one of us will truly look at it that way. That house sat vacant for over a year before we decided to take the risk of completely renovating 8 years ago to what it is now. We poured our hearts into it, Jason loved that he knew that house from inside out literally. I loved all the memories that living in that house sparked for myself, and my family. Our kids grew up in that home, the murals on the wall, the height markers in the closet, the annual flowering of my grandmother's clematis and my grandfather's bridal wreaths, the concrete stamps that span over 30 years: my grandparent's and my own child's prints. Those are physical things, but they have forever left an imprint on my heart that I know will live on regardless of where we are. Nobody will ever care for or love that house as much or as well as we did, however, it's a relief to know there is a new family in there starting their own chapter. That house was meant to be lived in, large families, and lots of love. The week before we closed on the house I was feeling very anxious, one early morning I woke up from a dream. In that dream I had walked in the door of my grandparent's house and my grandmother was sitting there in her chair by the phone, I walked over to her and gave her a hug and she distinctly told me things would be okay-and as I hugged her, I could smell her. That smell lingered with me as I woke from that dream. The emotional pressure of feeling like I was responsible for so many other people's sadness or happiness during this move has at times been really unbearable. Some divine intervention was honestly just what I needed to help me realize that only so much is in my hands. As time has went on since the closing I have had a great sense of relief, and it's also allowed us to start making the home we live in feel a little more like our own with finishing touches here and there.
Onto summer: sunshine, warm temps, baseball games, fishing, golfing, and just enjoying some fresh air. The kids and I are making a small 'bucket list' for the summer, some specific hikes and bike rides we want to do, as well as, check out some of the local aquatic centers. We also plan on spending a healthy amount of time visiting family and old friends.
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