To walk, or not walk-that is the question?

I received some somewhat disheartening news this week, I had hoped to finish up with school by the 4th of July. However, a capstone course I'm required to take is not offered until the end of summer. I had hoped to sneak in the course in the Spring when it was offered in Fond du Lac; unfortunately I will be completing the final course required to take the capstone course simultaneously-so they will not let me take the course as I had hoped. In the big picture another month of classes really is nothing to write home about.

I've been asked by many if I plan on participating in the graduating ceremony, and up until recently I hadn't really considered it. Marian now only offers one ceremony, but they will allow students who have up to 6 credits to finish, to walk in the May ceremony. My reasoning for not participating would be, what's the point of dragging my kids to see me walk, only to watch me continue taking classes through the summer? Seems somewhat pointless to them, and for me anti-climactic.

But then I think back to an email I received from my math prof while I was going to Moraine Park Technical College, she took the time out of her day to send me an email telling me that she'd hoped I would participate in the graduation ceremony, and take some time to reflect on what I've accomplished. At the time I was in her class, I entered her class literally 1 week post-childbirth in an effort to finish my associates degree. When I completed her class, she sent me this email and it's stuck in my mind. I didn't participate in the ceremony, I figured why throw one more event into the schedule, one more day to find a sitter, etc.

I'm starting to think maybe I should, after all this is my accomplishment and one of the few things in life I can call my very own. Those of you who obtained degrees long after high school, what is your feedback? Did you walk, if not-do you wish you would have? Is it all just ceremonial?

An update. . . .

It's been a little over a month since my last post, and it's been a busy one. We're in the midst of the holiday season already, which is hard to believe!

Ainslee: her months milestones are that she has finally done away with her crib. That transition was pretty seamless, but it should be when you've spent the last few months crawling out of your crib to sleep on the floor! She is working on potty training, nothing real serious other than undies around home, and pull ups; one of these days we'll buckle down on that too. Her vocabulary grows by the day, and while most people can't understand her-I can, and that just reminds me how much she's growing up. She's developed a new personality that is kind of sassy, boisterous, and doesn't listen too well-so yes, she's officially two!

Laura: she's growing up before my very eyes too, she's actually lost a little bit of her sass, and is being replaced by a more soft-hearted little girl who is set in her ways. She loves school, her days off with me, and her new found love is swimming. She has excelled from a Pike to an Eel in 3 weeks time, her teacher said it's as if a light switched and she got the confidence to go under water. Now she's a diving stick fool, and just loves being in the water. I've gotten the joy of helping in her school class a few times now, and it is so much fun to see her among her peers, and to see what a wonderful teacher she has.

Alex: he is doing really well with school. The first quarter ended and he did excellent, all S and S+'s, and his teacher said he is a very particular/hard working little boy. Somehow this doesn't surprise me at all. The transition to a new school was pretty seamless, and everyday I am so happy that we made the change. His attitude is a little less than desired these days, but it's just another growing pain. I went in the toy room to clean one day and he had written on the window with a marker: Dear Mom and Dad, I love you even wen you yel at me. Love, Alex. He's anxious for the snow to fly so he can sled, and play outside. The limbo between warm fall and snowfall is so hard, it makes the kids a little less ambitious to go and play outside if there's no white stuff to play in!

I'm really not enjoying school right now, or specifically the stats class I'm in-the teacher is really disorganized and it's a subject which I have absolutely zero interest in. You know it's bad when you look forward to your finance class just because it's the better alternative. I just keep reminding myself that after January I'll be on a downward slope to graduation in July.

I've gotten a really early start on Christmas shopping, all that's left is getting a tree and some decorating. So I'm feeling really confident in myself these days, lol. However, I don't think I'm doing Christmas cards this year, I just haven't had the organization to get some pictures of the kids. There is always next year!

Here's wishing everyone a blessed holiday season!

My own milestone

I had a milestone in my own life this past week, getting to spend an entire week with my own mother sans children, enjoying the beautiful Mexican sun, sand, and Pacific Ocean. It seems I've been spending the past 6 years of my life tending to my children, making career decisions, and continuing my education; and what interaction I have with my mom usually entails a quick convo as I run from here to there, dramatic decisions affecting our family or my own, or the usual interruptions that 2, 4, and 6 year old can tend to cause. Mom is my child taxi driver, my last minute babysitter, my psychiatrist, the only ear I will probably truly lend myself to besides my husband, she is a quiet voice of reason and the calm in my most hectic days. She has supported me as an individual, as a wife, and as a mother in more ways than I can tell; some might say that's what a mom is supposed to do, but there's not a moment I take for granted all she has, does, and will do for me in my lifetime. This picture will forever be embedded in my brain, and will make me smile thinking of the memories this past week has given me.

I also got to spend the week with two other ladies who have been more of a support system to me in the past few years than I could have ever imagined they would be. Had you asked me 10 years ago who my closest confidants would be, my in-laws probably wouldn't have been at the top of my list. Not because there were any ill feelings, but it takes life experiences to realize how instrumental those around you really are. Without my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, these past few years would not have been possible: schedule changes between work and school, sick parents, sick kids, just a plain old vacation, etc. These ladies are the most accommodating and compatible people you will ever meet, more so than I will probably ever be-and for that I am blessed, and so are my children to have these people in their lives.

I have learned to take more things with a grain of salt, that it's ok to relax and have my own fun every once in a while, and life isn't worth getting so worked up over every. . . . little. . . . thing. They have recognized our accomplishments with small unexpected sentiments, and have supported us when life has changed course for us.

I just wanted to take a moment and thank every single one of these ladies for the opportunity of this past week of rest and relaxation, I truly am grateful to have each of you in my life.

Define: Transformation

One of the things on our "summer wish list" was to find a monarch catepillar. . . we searched high, we searched low, no milkweed patch was untouched in the yard or in the vicinity. Low and behold, a few weeks ago Alex and I went for a bike ride on one of our country back roads and a catepillar caught Alex's eye. I was astonished when it was a monarch. So we took the catepillar home, placed it in a large jar with some sticks, and lots of fresh milkweed. It gorged itself for a few days, and overnight it had spun itself a chrysalis. We counted the days until it was to emerge, and sadly we were up north over Labor Day weekend (when I suspected it would probably come out), there was no way I was going to risk that chrysalis falling in transport-just to take it along; so we rushed through the door and sure enough the catepillar had emerged into a beautiful butterfly. We transferred it to a netted habitat so it could fill its wings, and practice flying a little more for a night. And just as quickly as we found that ugly catepillar, we released that beautiful butterfly into nature. It truly was a testament to the saying that the most beautiful things cannot be seen or heard, but they need to be felt with the heart. The kids and I loved watching the entire transformation process.

Our lives have been in transition from summer life into the school routine. Alex began his 1st grade year off in a new school this year, so with that these first few weeks have been a time of change, new routine, new rules, and that daunting task of fitting in. After a few weeks of the routine I'm so relieved with our decision to send the kids to private school, and have been embracing all of the changes it has brought to our life-even the not so pleasant one's, such as my only "sleeper" turning into an early riser (even on the weekends!). Alex loves his new school, his teacher, and is making new friends on a daily basis-although he usually can't remember their names yet. I love the culture of his new school, and it's already reflecting in how Alex feels about school in the small amount of time that he's been there. Here's my big 1st grader, on the first day of school:


Laura is also adjusting, she goes to 4k three days a week. She enjoys resting up those two days she doesn't have school, and we keep ourselves busy running errands, going to the Y, or just hanging out at home. It's interesting to see Laura's personality from the home aspect, to school-at home she's kind of the loud boss of the house, but at school she's very reserved and behaves very well-she really exhibits how independent she is. While I see her playing well with others, she also has no problems just going off and doing something on her own which makes me very proud-especially considering she's a girl. Here she is on her 1st day of 4k, and yes she picked her own socks out:


And Ainslee, my little stinker. Her bed crawling and diaper taking-off antics haven't stopped, but she has seemed to ease up on her endurance. As in, now we only have to put her back to bed 1-3 times vs. 10. . . or just let her sleep in the closet;). This girl's vocabulary expands daily, she's went from being our quiet observer, to throwing her two cents in as well. Now I guess I really need to buckle down on that potty training thing. Here's sassy pants at her birthday party:


School starts up for me this week, and I have thoroughly enjoyed the last few weeks off. It couldn't have come at a better time, I'm not sure how I would have juggled the start of the kids school year w/ just that one more "thing" in the mix. The next 4 months are going to be intense from the schooling standpoint-some higher level and math courses. . . But after Christmas I think the remainder of my schooling will be at an even pace. Ahhhhh.

Define: Terrible Twos

Ainslee recently celebrated her 2nd birthday, complete with family, friends, and cake. And it's as if in a light switch, my laid back little sweetheart has turn into quite the little. . . . shit.

Alex and Laura started school yesterday, so in an attempt to get them rested up for the busy couple of days ahead of them they all laid down for naps at the start of the week. That is, everyone except for Ainslee. Since Monday she's been practicing to climb out of her crib in record time because from my estimate I'm guessing it takes her less than a minute. So I thought to myself, no big deal-just put the baby gate up and consistently put her back into bed, right?

Well for the fun of it, Ains decided to start taking her diaper off in conjunction with climbing out of her crib. Complete with unplugging her white noise machine and setting her music box over, and over, and over. And then when I put everything that was within reach on the floor up-she took all of her clothes out of her dresser, every last item. . . . Today I not only got handed a diaper, but a diaper with a turd in it. And that baby gate, scaled quicker than her crib!

We're getting closer to not just one crossroad, but two: almost time for a big girl bed, and hard core potty training. Alex is a champion sleeper, and Laura pretty much potty trained herself-but I think I'm going to have to work on this one!

So you can imagine how no naps+later bedtimes+earlier wake time=lots of screaming, crying, and hitting. Uh, you don't want to be around our house come 6 p.m. Apparently she didn't get the memo that between the other kids starting school, her schedule getting wonked as a result, my school, oh and mom banning diet soda from her at home diet-now isn't the time to create a new personality;).

At her 2 year well check she measured in at 32" tall, and 21 lbs. A very healthy, happy, and sassy little girl.

A Summer of Growth

Hard to believe that summer is coming to a close, and school is right around the corner. The summer itself was pretty productive, I went into it with a list in my head of things I wanted to do with the kids: Bay Beach, Fond du Lac Pool, Movie, Few weekends up north, Holiday Acres, Paul Bunyan, Wildlife Zoo, Mini Golf, Milwaukee Public Museum, and the Milwaukee Zoo.

I'm happy to report all but the Milwaukee Zoo was visited, and I still have hope to make it there in the next two weeks.

The last month I've been able to take in more time with the kids, and less of my schooling. Taking 1 laid back class vs. 2 super intense was like night and day. I think I needed this time to re-charge and psych myself up for the upcoming school year. I will go hard at it for two full semesters, and then I will be able to scale back to 1 class next summer and wrap up my degree before the start of next school year.

The kids are starting to gear up for school, Alex (ahem, and I am) is ready for school to start-the wheels of sibling rivalry have reared their ugly head the last couple weeks so it's a sign that a much needed break from each other is welcomed. Laura is excited, she's officially starting 4k and Alex a big 1st grader! I'll probably be missing the noise in the house come next month, but I'll get Ains all to myself for 3 days a week which is a pretty foreign concept around here!

The kids are starting at a new school this Fall, so while we are excited-I think we're all (except Laura) a little apprehensive about what this new change will bring to our lives. Please be thinking positive thoughts for us in the upcoming month!

Define: Aversion

One of Wiki's definitions of aversion is as follows: opposition or repugnance of mind, fixed dislike. With that I can proudly announce that Alex has reached the milestone of losing his first tooth. This is a milestone that I knew I would have a hard time celebrating with him, its safe to say that I have an aversion to teeth, loose teeth, conversation regarding teeth, looking and feeling teeth. Let's just say it's probably a by-product of PTS from my own childhood tooth experiences.

I can thank my orthodontist for the miracles of beautiful teeth because without him, I'm not sure where I'd be today, lol. I've had numerous teeth pulled, and braces placed strategically to make my teeth form somewhat of a straight line, turn teeth 180 degrees, and to this day I still struggle with the small gap in my front teeth. Instead of showing everyone my diploma at my high school graduation party, my mom pulled out my before and after orthodontist pictures; if that tells you anything about how bad my teeth were.

There was one particular incident of having one of my teeth (not my wisdom teeth) pulled where the sheer sound of the tooth coming out just about sent me through the roof. I sort of made a faint expression at the sound and my dentist pointedly told me that "You don't need to make that noise, you can't feel anything". It's safe to say that my aversion to teeth started from that day forward.

I try to hold it together for Alex, but I told him point blank this was something his dad was going to have to help him with. You know my aversion to vomit has lessened since Jason started working nights and I'm the only one that has to deal with those moments; so there's hope that by the time Ainslee starts losing teeth I'll be pulling them out for her. . . Ok, probably not, but hopefully I won't gag when she shows me the "window" as Alex refers to the blank spot left in his mouth.

Alex was so excited when he woke up and the tooth fairy had come and miraculously given him exactly what he felt was a decent amount. As we talked about it the next day in the car, it was no surprise when Laura said "Alex, what was the tooth fairy wearing?" Alex's response: "I don't know! If I was awake she would have never came." Leave it to Laura to wonder what kind of fashion sense the tooth fairy has, never mind the purpose of her visit. Hopefully as time goes on they will perserve the magic of this milestone for their little sister!

Define: Flexible

I'll warn you, this post is not going to be the usual upbeat, or update on the good things in our life. Rather somewhat of a venting process, an outing of the bad and the ugly in my own personal way. Some of you are not going to like what I have to say, so either respect that this is my blog or stop reading.

Define: flexible. Working 1st shift one day, then third the following day with little to no notice. Working most weekends, typically with a days notice. How about spending on average 2 hours a day with your kids because you're busy working 12, sleeping 9, and showering/eating the other 1. Or having short patience those 3 hours you do get with them because you are so damn tired you can barely function. Or how about your wife relying on you to have those 3 hours of patience because she's been responsible for the kids the other 20 hours for the last 8 days plus. A wife, with the help of her sister-in-law and mother takes all 3 kids up north for what was supposed to be our only week long family vacation of the summer ended up being for 4 days without "the whole family"-granted we were only planning on Jason being up there with us on the weekends, it ended up being not . . . at . . . . all. Not even saying happy birthday to somebody in your life because you're both so pissed about the entire work situation surrounding you to even look at each other, planning a 4 year olds birthday party solo, and best yet having to drop a course because you can't find enough energy or time in the day to get the work done.

That's just a taste of my life right now-sound fun? So where's this 'flexible' thing come in you ask? Jason's busted his ass for the last year with our full support, and by full support I mean me, the kids, my family and his family bending over backwards to make his work, my school, and the kids life in general just work. I gave up last night, I decided that the stress of two classes right now while Jason's work/life balance isn't so hot just isn't worth 1) the stress 2) the strain on my patience of what little summer I have left with the kids 3) what little time or energy I have and 4) I really don't think it's necessary to have to call on people on a regular basis to watch your kids while you've committed to coaching t-ball or have class, or just to get homework done before midnight every night. I greatly appreciate the help of others, but really-those things are commitments I've made, and I really don't think there should be any reason my other half can't be responsible for what little time that takes up in a week. I mean, what would happen if I actually had a job outside the home?

So now you're probably all thinking, man she's a bitch-and poor Jason. But this post isn't about ill feelings towards Jason. . . . It's about my ill-feelings of him being called on the carpet and told that he isn't 'flexible' enough. I'm sure to some you're thinking I'm naive, spouting my mouth, ungrateful, or the thought 'just wait' has entered your mind. . . . but really none of that matters to what our quality of life is right now. Transitional times are what they are, but realize that behind every employee isn't a wife without a backbone or no kids-instead there is a wife who is a fulltime student, woman with other obligations, and a caregiver to 3 young children, children who value good time with their dad. Not low patience and tired time with dad.

The nature of Jason's work environment is a continual strive to prove himself: he's a perfectionist, he's straight forward, he's a hard worker, and is probably going to be one of the most dedicated employees you will ever have. Appreciate him.

I'm not stupid, growing up in a house where my dad was the bread winner, he worked long, varied hours/shifts while my mom stayed home most of the time. I realize there are going to be bumps in this road.

Appreciating him would be the silver lining in knowing this is all worth it, in the meantime I'm trying to keep 'livin the dream' as Gary Rodman would say.

Double-Edged Sword

Well, here we are getting ready to sit on the big girl potty and while that milestone is always monumental in terms of independence for the child and independence for the parents to have to lug a diaper bag around-I'm starting to think diapers aren't such a bad thing.

It's one of those subsequent child "things", no sooner was Alex two and we were already pushing him into pt'ing. And typical Laura, proved to the world she was ready to rid herself of diapers right around 2 with next to zero intervention from us. But Ainslee's my baby, my last baby. . . . so diapers really aren't that bad.

Kind of like how sleeping in a crib til you're 4 isn't so bad, right? Well, maybe not that old but I do have full intentions of easing from the crib to a big girl bed a little slower than the others because this is the first time in our parenting lives that we haven't had to be in a hurry for that next step.

Laura's 4th birthday is quickly approaching, and I cannot find where the last two years-let alone 4-of my life have went other than in the beautiful growing faces of my kids. I remember thinking to myself that wow, some day my kids will be 2, 4, and 6. . . . and here I am. Life, slow down!

In other news, I just wrapped up two classes which to date since working towards my bachelors were the most time consuming classes I have ever taken. A 3 and 400 level course, which both included a lot of reading, questions, case studies, and large final projects. I am very grateful to have a wonderful support group surrounding me while I work towards my degree. The last 7 weeks included calling upon my mom and mother-in-law endless times to step in and help out, with little notice because I had to run here or there for the kids, had class and Jason was working, or I just needed a few hours to dedicate to some homework. And I called upon my niece to relieve me for a few hours here and there just so I could run and get groceries, take a shower, do laundry or put in a few hours of homework, since I didn't have a whole lot of extra time to get normal things done around the house. And my sister-in-law, who offered to join us up north as an extra set of hands and eyes so the kids could still enjoy themselves, while taking countless trips into town to submit online homework, etc. Jason too has been working long hours, often varying shifts from one day to the next-so to say it's been difficult is an understatement, we could have never done it without these people in our lives. I really struggled with the "juggle" of school and home life this go around, something I really pride myself on-the ability to multitask. Maybe I'm losing my touch? So I have the week off, and then back to it next week, hoping this next set of classes is a little bit lighter load.

Oil and Water

Ah, summer is upon us, and the fact that we made it through that first week is kind of a miracle. Sibling rivalry is an aspect of parenting/childhood that I completely do not get, nor have I come up with a fool proof way to deal with it. Seeing as though my next sister is 8 years older than me, I didn't have to deal w/ sharing resources, time, or attention-and if I did, I just dealt with it, and didn't complain.

Alex and Laura suffer from this: Laura is deceitful, ignores Alex, is the typical mean girl to Alex from the mental aspect, and she always pulls out the "Alex, you're a jerk". A lot of this is Laura's personality, I think it's what separates girls from boys, they deal with conflict in a whole different way. Maybe what I'm trying to say is that girls learn to be bitches as a young age, we just don't know it;).

And Alex isn't much better, he's the naive kid that typically leaves just enough rope to hang himself. He gets caught doing and saying things to her on a regular basis, and he is the king of aggravation. I don't even need to look at him, to know what he's doing to her. I think I said "it's going to be a very long summer for you two, if you don't learn to get along" about a million times last week.

You know it's an accomplishment when for the few minutes they can manage to get along, they make a point to say-"mom, we're playing with each other". On Monday they both got sent off to summer school, which was a milestone day for Laura: first day on the bus. She was so excited, and I had to break the news to Alex that he had to be nice, possibly sit with her the first day in case she was scared, hold her hand if she needed it, and help her find her teacher/classroom. He obliged, I knew he would; as much as he doesn't like her, I know he loves her.

That first day watching them get off the bus and run to the house was priceless, Laura's smile couldn't have been bigger. Alex then broke the news to me that 1) "Sissy didn't want me to sit with her, 2) she went to her classroom herself, 3) she wouldn't hold my hand and 4) she wanted a hug, and you didn't say anything about hugging. Oh and she sat in the back of the bus on the way home, and whenever Mr. Belling would look she'd duck. Ah, Laura, makes me laugh just thinking about her, her independence and her defiance. . . .

So when somebody finds that magic answer to sibling rivalry, let me know. In the meantime, I know I can rely on Alex to conform when I'm not around or I can bet on Laura doing whatever she needs to let her big brother know she doesn't need him. . . . except for that hug.

Update

So it's been a while. . . Easter came and went, which we spent out in Colorado visiting my sister and her family. Trips to Colorado are always successful for us, her kids are closest in age to mine, so the kids just enjoy getting together and being able to play. It was Ainslee's first airplane ride, and we all survived it-except for maybe the guy in front of her on the way back;).

While we were out in Colorado, Alex celebrated his 6th birthday. . . where does the time go? Instead of the birthday movies I have done for him in the past, this year I made him a photobook which he has really enjoyed-he looks at it often, has taken it to school, shows it off frequently. He's graduating from Kindergarten next week, and he says he doesn't want to go to 1st grade-he wants to be in K forever. . . lol. He's going to do summer school in hopes of staying on top of the reading and math skills he worked so hard on during the school year, and we're going to spend as much time up north this summer as we can so he's very stoked for that.


Mother's Day
I don't think you can truly appreciate Mother's Day until you become a mother yourself, I think it ranks higher than my birthday because really words can't describe your life any better than being surrounded by those that love you, and a week full of receiving small sentiments to hold onto for a lifetime reminding you of how precious life once was, you know-when I'm old, and gray. Wait, I'm already gray, so when I'm old.


Our 9th Anniversary
Again, it's one of those things where you wonder where the time has gone. Jason and I have been with each other for 14 years; hard to believe it's almost half of my life! We've been through 3 houses, two dogs, 3 kids, and all the other "stuff" that goes along w/ life. You know you've come a long way when going for supper in our gas saving Mercury Mystique, and then to get groceries for our anniversary was a perfect way to celebrate for both of us. Hell, just eating a meal in peace and quiet, at a normal pace is celebration enough for us;).


Laura
Laura will also be graduating from her 3k class this week which is very exciting for her, and she too will be going to summer school. Her and Alex are like oil and water, so I'm not sure how that bus ride is going to go, but hopefully they can work the kinks out w/ minimal intervention. Laura cannot get to school soon enough, she thrives on having "something" to do and she really rises to the challenge of things academic, yet she embraces her individuality. Right now her individuality includes two different socks on most days, a rainbow belt I just scored at a rummage sale, leotard or dance outfit, a ball cap, some lip gloss or makeup if I allow it, and a piece of gum. She's an amazing little girl that I love to pieces despite our differences, and I can't wait to see where her personality will take her.


Ainslee
She's growing like a weed, and she's emerging her own individuality-but her personality is a little "quieter" than Laura's. She's talking more and more every day, she's strong-willed, yet shy and quiet in her demeanor. I'm looking forward to the 4 hours of peace and quiet we will have together when Laura and Alex are in summer school. Oh, and the third time is a charm-fingers crossed, knock on wood, whatever else I can do-God finally blessed me w/ a sleeper. This girl usually doesn't get up before 8:30 most mornings. . . Thanks Ainslee;)


I'm been really busy w/ school, I think I blogged I'd never put myself through another super accelerated course again. . . but there I was a few weeks back. I like instant gratification. . . . I did manage to figure out that I will be graduating next May (provided all goes as planned) which is over a half year sooner than I anticipated-so I'm excited to know that I have about a year left.

Hopefully I'll be a little more current on here, but coming into summer-I can't make any promises.

Little Piece of Heaven

Last month Jason and I took our first vacation sans kids since. . . . our honeymoon almost 9 years ago. Destination: Ixtapa, Mexico. Given the trip was without our kids, the last thing we wanted to do was be on the go, with a long list of to-do's while we were there. Basically we went to enjoy the warm temps, sunshine, and an occasional cocktail down by the pool. Meals were eaten at a normal pace without interruption, and I was able to wake in the morning on my own terms. Really, that was the highlight of my part of the vacation! Kids either make you 1) lame, or 2) easily amused; I'm perfectly ok with both labels.

All of this is in gratitude to my sister-in-law who braved staying with all 3 of the kids for the entire week we were gone. She graciously moved into our house for the week, and life went on fairly normal. The kids had fun, and hopefully we didn't scare her away for good after that stint!

A big thank you to all those who made this trip a reality for us, we had a wonderful time!

Wait there's more. . .

Tonight I went to an informational meeting on the current referendum looking to be passed in our school district, so my mom came over to watch the kids after Jason left for work.

I'm happy to report no f bombs were dropped; however, when mom finished reading her books before bed, Laura said "tell my mom you only read me one book". My mom got a concerned look on her face (and tried pulling the Jesus line again), "But that's not true Laura, I read two. I don't think Jesus would like it if I fibbed."

Laura's response: "I'll talk to him."

Ok, two.

Remember how I told you a few weeks back that I only had one vice? That is until my 3 year old reminded me yesterday of that lingering 2nd one-the one that is so second nature to me, I rarely know that I'm doing it. Can anyone take a guess?

I have a tendency to let out a swear word, here and there. And if I get mad, I tend to let out a lot of swear words. I blame my dad for this trait, on a bad day he can orchestrate the smoothest sounding delivery of about 50 swear words within 1 minute. Typically done outside, and most neighbors (let me remind you that we live in a rural area, and the term neighbors is used lightly here) can vaguely hear what's coming out of his mouth as something he's working on either breaks, tips over, and he proceeds to throw something inadvertently. I also have to add though that he can do the same orchestration in a positive light whenever he's telling a story about fishing, hunting, or just something crazy that happened while he worked for the railroad. I'm guessing if everyone knew my dad, they'd probably understand my 'language barrier'.

I'm not that bad, but according to my old co-workers at McNeilus, "you swear like a sailor". Apparently it's acceptable when guys do it, but not for women? So they set up the "Teri Sweary" jar, I was then given a list of "the forbidden" words, and every time I used one-I had to drop a quarter in the jar. It was a good incentive, I think I might have to implement it at home.

Laura is my wild child, and typically when somebody other than I am watching her she will push the boundaries, and see if she can get a rise out of her caregiver. On this particular day it was my mom (who by the way, does not swear on a regular basis). The last time mom watched her she was saying "what the hell is this", or something to that effect w/ the emphasis on "hell". Mom told her Jesus didn't like it when she used words like that, her response "my mom says it". Yeah, I do, it's kind of my slang term I use often. Like what the hell, why doesn't this work; or what the hell, why can't I find this. I have to precursor this next paragraph and remind you that I save the big terms for when I'm really mad.

Well Laura pulled out the big guns yesterday, my only saving grace is that she cannot pronounce her f's. Frequent terms she uses: priend (friend), pour (four), pive, you get the idea. Mom wasn't quite certain what she was saying, but Laura repeated it until she got some recognition which was quite a few times cause mom was hell bent on ignoring this one. . . "why didn't my dad shut the pucken door to my office?"

So not only did she out me with the "f" bomb, but she also outted me in a way that makes it seem like I was talking about Jason in a negative light. Seriously I don't do this often, but it gives new meaning to "out of babes mouths". We all got a laugh out of it, yes even Jason. Guess I need to start working on this vice a little harder, probably even harder than the Diet Dew.

My Little Peanut

Ainslee has officially hit the 18 month milestone: weighing in at 18 lbs, and 30 3/4 inches tall. The pediatrician was concerned that for the second well check in row, her marks were starting to fall off the growth chart. So she referred us to a growth specialist down in Madison, I was a little surprised but agreed to go for peace of mind.

I'm happy to report the specialist was not concerned at all. Her growth charts follow the same pattern as our other kids: Alex was a porkchop til he walked and then thinned out and is just finally catching up to everyone else in his class this year. Laura too was stuck in 18 month clothes for roughly 2 years (sadly for me, I have no hand me downs for Ains-guess that means I need to go shopping which breaks my heart) and she too is just starting to get taller this year and is still petite. Ains is really no different other than she never really had chunky thighs, arms, or chunky anything to fall back on, lol. But she's thriving, very well I might add in the developmental department, the doctor witnessed that first hand when she grabbed something that looked like a phone and put it up to her ear and said 'ello'? I'm sure he thought another typical girl in the making!

She grows so much every day in personality and vocabulary. Having Laura as her example has given her a headstart on the personality department, I'm going to sound mean in saying this-but I'm looking forward to the break Ainslee will get from Laura next year while she's in school, maybe it will 'settle the sass' down a little bit, if you know what I mean.

So I'm thankful for over cautious doctors, but more thankful for my own insight-guess I have learned a little something along the way on this parenting journey!

It's My Only Vice

Most people who know me are probably not surprised that the movie Kingpin is one of my all time favs. "You see bowling for money, that's my only vice. Here's your drink sugar, ok two." is the frame depicted in this photo from the movie.

I used to have two vices: 1) chewing my fingernails and 2) drinking diet soda. Somewhere along the lines after I had Laura, I kind of "outgrew" my nail chewing. I think it was purely cause I was so damn busy with two kids that I couldn't even find the time to shower let alone chew on my damn nails! Or maybe my life got less stressful? Yeah, probably not.

Well, I think the day has come that I'm going to tackle that second vice. My diet dew or fountain diet coke is like that first morning smoke for some. I don't drink a 12 pack a day or anything, actually it's more like I open 3 cans throughout the day and drink on average about half the can. So I don't really need to ingest the soda, it's just the mere action of going to the fridge, pulling one out, and opening it just to catch a swig while I'm eating something.

This will be hard for me, I'm guessing I'll have awful withdrawal headaches. . . And I'm not a milk or juice drinker, so water it will have to be. I won't completely take it out of my diet, I'm hoping I can just be a 'social' soda drinker, you know like that person who only smokes when they're drinking. Jason doesn't think I can do it, when I told him I was thinking about doing it he said "no way, you said it would always be your one vice."

I want to prove him wrong but I also just want to do it for myself, hell if I can stop chewing my nails I should be able to do this. I'm going to make Friday the 'magic day', wish me luck!

Spring, is that you?

Just last week we were stuck in a deep freeze, temps in the single digits, windchill in the negatives. February tends to be the month that our patience of winter starts to wear thin, and we welcome the warm reminder of Spring. Sledding, building snow forts, getting pulled behind the 4 wheeler or snowmobile, and helping shovel are a few of the things the kids enjoy, but even they are getting cabin fever and sick of having to take an extra 20 minutes in the day to get dressed and undressed.

The last few days have been our "reminder" that there is more to Wisconsin than winter, temps in the high 30's with beautiful sunshine. The snow is melting away, leaving patches of grass visible, and even mud in some spots. On Sunday the kids played outside for over 3 hours, by themselves! It even shocked me that I didn't get the usual tattling, but they were so busy playing on the snowpile, to shoveling snow/mud by the barn, to then washing their "tools" off with runoff from the gutters by the end of the 3 hours they didn't have time to argue!

Laura came in and promptly passed out, meanwhile Jason and Alex put together what is probably the first and last snowman of the year. By the time Laura woke up from her nap it was dark out, so I told Alex he'd have to show her in the morning. Come Monday morning they both ran to the window, anticipating some shrieks of excitement-I was quickly amused to hear Alex say in a puzzled voice, "his head fell off!". Sure enough, the warm temps overnight had made his head literally fall off and all that was left were the remnants of the face laying next to the body. Alex was a little distraught at first, but we all ended up getting a good laugh out of it.



Spring, I sure hope it's you-we're all ready to nix the cabin fever, open some windows, and enjoy the outdoors again!

"Some day when I'm a mom, I'm gonna be the boss of this place!"

Everybody always refers to the terrible twos, and I have yet to have a problem with two; it's always three that gets me. Lately Laura and I have been fire and ice together thanks to the lovely personality I like to refer to as "three". There are a few specific areas we're struggling in: listening and volume. Due to the first one, the time out chair is frequently visited in our house these days, and even some days I threaten to spank-when she's really pushing my buttons. Alex was a naive three, Laura is clever and anything but naive. For example she will blatently do something she knows she's not supposed to do, and when I look at her and tell her not to, she pushes the envelope just a little farther-while I'm looking. And often times she has a smartass response to what I say (I don't know where she gets this from), perfect example would be: "Laura, will you pick your toys up please?" "No, you do it mom" said in a somewhat quiet voice, "What did you just say?"-"I said I like you mom". Unfortunately, she learned this dialogue from me and Jason, I will typically say something smartass to Jason, to which he'll ask what I said-my response, "I said I like you". Yeah, I should have known that one would haunt me. Volume, this is one I struggle with, until I had kids-I was a fairly quiet person in nature. Laura's loud volume makes my skin crawl, kind of like when you are all the way across the grocery store grabbing something you forgot while the kids stay with Jason and you hear this loud annoying sound, that's usually Laura's voice carrying all the way to the other side of the store, and we all know that if I can hear it-it's loud.

Normal three year old aside, Laura is doing great, she's learning to write her name and even shows an interest in flash cards and reading already. I'll use her to my advantage in motivating Alex;). She loves makeup, nail polish, dancing, and playing dressup with her leotards. In a world where mean kids are the norm, and it makes me cringe to send my babies off to school; I have complete confidence in Laura to hold her own.

Onto Miss Ainslee, hard to believe she will be 18 months the end of this month. You know I'm in denial when she goes into the closet and pulls out the potty training seat, and I insist on putting it back! All bottles are gone, pacifiers, everything baby-like. She's been replaced by a little toddler whose temper has emerged in the past few months, she's starting to get past the 'throw myself on the ground and roll around a little' phase, and onto dealing with her feelings though. She'll throw a cheap shot at Laura here or there, but it's usually quickly replaced by a kiss or a hug. She's an entertainer: she makes goofy faces, likes to laugh at her brother, play dress up and dolls with her sister, and she's just trying to keep up w/ the Jones-growing way too fast. I mentioned her love of water, she also enjoys going to open gym at the gymnastics center for the YMCA in FDL on Friday mornings. The girls can run, jump, and climb on all sorts of stuff and she loves every minute we're there.

She's still a petite little girl, but very much keeps up with the big kids. Most days when Alex and Laura head outside she's right behind them grabbing her boots out of the closet. She recently had an ear recheck-tubes look good and are still secure, lets hope those baby's last us through this winter. I'm not sure if it's because she's grown a bit and her ear anatomy has changed, or if it's the fact she's no longer in daycare, but she just had her very first cold of the winter. I'm enjoying a healthy year for her, and continue to enjoy watching her personality. You know, cause she's the only one who can't talk back anymore;).

Last but certainly not least, Alex recently caught this big walleye with his dad, and Grandpa Wuest while we were up north over New Years. He's as proud as can be, and keeps asking when his mount is going to be back so he can take it for show and tell. He might have to settle for just taking a photograph. But he's also gotten a little egotistical about it too, he's turned down fishing on Lake abago (Winnebago) with Papa cause he can't guarantee that they'll catch big ones. I'm sure my dad laughs inside, hopefully he realizes it's not about what you catch-but spending time with family that's more important-I know he will.

He just got his first report card back, and we're very proud of him. He's doing well in most areas, he just hasn't shown much interest in reading or writing-which I'm guessing for a boy in Kindegarten that's probably pretty normal. Jason and I try to help in his class on a weekly basis, and all the girls in his class are all gung-ho on reading, reading to themselves, reading to others-aloud. Why would he have a need to read, they do it for him! It's fun to see the dynamics of his class, and just to see him among his peers.

Also our 'good' Alex returned. The behavior issues we had prior to Christmas have since passed, thanks to my nephew Jimmy, who now taxis Alex to school in the morning. I'm all for public transportation, but Alex was on the bus for over an hour in the mornings. . . a few K boys+lots of time on their hands+a bus driver who hears very little=a very strung little boy when he arrived to school. He still rides it at night, so I haven't lost all faith in the school systems transportation.

Very proud of all my kids!

Define: Intense

Due to poor planning on my part, I decided to take a winterim course which ran from January 4-14th, Monday thru Friday 8:30-12:30. I'm one of those people who think the stress and mild strain on the schedule of a 10 day class is worth the 3 credits rather than have to sit through an 8+ week class. The poor planning portion of that is that I didn't realize my 'regular' MAAP courses started that week as well, so I was enrolled in 3 classes at once; I was under the impression that winterim's were stand alone. . . apparently I was wrong.

Define intense: Theology 100 "The Foundation of a Christian Experience", in a winterim format by Michael Ketterhagen. In the past I've had winterims so I was thinking, no big deal-the profs are usually pretty sympathetic to the fact that people have lives outside of school thus not much homework, heavy reading, etc. Wrong again. . . On average I read 3 chapters a night, daily terminology quizzes, had to write 1 page summaries to questions like define theology?, how is God human and God?, what is the holy spirit?, define salvation. You know cause it's really easy to sum those answers up in one page (insert sarcasm here). Dr. Ketterhagen was challenging, I re-wrote 4 of my papers in an effort to ensure a good grade in the class; and papers are typically my strong suit. There were two larger papers due as well. Lastly, he required us to complete a service learning experience, I chose participating in loaves and fishes, which is a program where groups prepare a meal at a local church, and serve to those in need. I took Alex along to the service learning, it was a really great experience for both of us. However challenging Dr. Ketterhagen was, he was a great teacher which made the intensity and stress well worth it in the end.

So for two weeks of my life I felt completely bombarded between the three classes, something I rarely feel. . . and in hindsight I really wish I would have taken the class in the traditional format so I had more time to take in all the information. I'm at a point in my life that those types of things interest me. And I felt kind of "old" in the class, most of the students were traditional and spent a large amount of their time texting-and then it fathomed me how when the daily terminology quizzes rolled around they were aceing them-and I was completely bombing them. I think it was a sign I was "thinking into things" too much. Alas, I survived it-even got an A in the class thanks to an overabundance of extra credit; and since I'm a glutton for punishment I'll probably take another course when the Maymester rolls around.

We went to the Dells last week as sort of a wind down from the stress of that class, Jason working most weekends, and to treat ourselves to a small family vacation. The kids had a blast: Alex could ride all the slides and enjoyed them thoroughly, Jason and I took turns 'playing' with him. Laura isn't a huge fan of the water, but she enjoyed floating in the river in the perfect fitting tube and wearing her goggles. . . everywhere, not just in the water. She's been walking around saying "ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE" after the movie UP. And Ainslee is a water bug, my family used to tell me I was swimming before I was walking and I think Ainslee acquired that love-and even a sense of balance and breath. She went down the little slides w/ a huge smile on her face, and walked in the pools like she owned the place. We all enjoyed ourselves, I got to sleep with my husband for 4 nights straight which seems like a modern miracle these days; and the kids managed to get along most of the time.

A Year of Contentment

I had to look back at my New Years post from last year to refresh myself a bit and to help form some sort of measurement of the year in its entirety. If I had to sum the year up in one word it would be: contentment.

Noteables from the year:

Jason decided to join his family's business, and move on from his construction career. This has changed our lives in so many ways, and aside from the sleep schedule it has all been for the better. I think the stress level in both our lives dropped instantly and drastically as a result of this decision; financial stability, consistency, and benefits are a few of the obvious reasons.

Again I was graced with the ability to work with a great bunch of people, this time at McNeilus Steel in Fond du Lac. However, the cost of daycare in a part-time environment lead us to one of those decisions in life where we either have to bite the bullet and go fulltime, or stay home with the kids. Given the stability of Jason's job, and the growing needs of all the kids it was in our best interest for me to stop working and be at home.

In conjunction with staying at home, I researched my options for school and decided to go for my Bachelors in Business Administration. So far I am really enjoying being back in school, and the fact that I should only have about 2 years is also reassuring that this feat won't take forever (or as long as my associates did). School is my social outing, and my time consumer after Jason leaves for work so it's actually fit into our lives very well.

Lastly and most importantly, I have 3 happy and healthy kids who are thriving. Staying at home with the kids is very different than when I initially left the college. I find my days are fuller now than they were when I was employed-filled with appointments, places to go, errands to run. I've come into my own with cooking, baking, and a cleaning schedule. But most people that come into my house know I don't get real hung up on that last one;). I truly have the best of both worlds: I get to spend every day with my kids, and I work in a break here or there during the week with the help of family, or close friends to do the things I need and want to do, and I'm still pursuing one of my own goals in school.

It's not to say I haven't had any drama in my life this past year, there's been "the usual" and the not so usual but I've taken a different approach to the things that don't need to be so pressing in my life. My immediate family and my parents are who I find myself focusing on, I take the rest with a grain of salt. As a result I think I need to change the sticker on my truck to read "life is pretty damn good" instead of just life is good.