The older I get, the more I mirror my elders. . . .

So I've been "home" with the girls a whole whopping 1 1/2 weeks, and things are going great. I feel a lot less anxious this time around w/ the whole sahm thing-before, I just felt like I wasn't ready and could fully appreciate all that is involved in being home throughout the day. In just one week, I feel as if I see my mom and grandma in myself as I become a little more domestic-these are a few of the "things" reflecting on me:

I officially have dishwater, dry as hell hands-don't get me wrong, I apply calming cream at every opportunity, but the constant wipe down of the counters, contact w/ laundry detergent, and bleach is taking its toll.

Um, my kitchen drawers and cabinets are spotless, they no longer have that "lived in" feeling of a few crumbs or some miscellaneous object floating among the silverware, or bowls. My mom even commented on it the other day when she reached into my drawer-"Pete, you must have too much time on your hands".

Those closets I've been putting off organizing for the last 3 years are finally getting tended to, day by day I move from one to another. Items are purged, organized, donated, etc.

I've been hanging clothes on the line-I've always enjoyed doing this w/ my bedding, but rarely would I take the time to hang a full load out to dry. Maybe it's my frugal, or more so cheap dad inside me trying to save a buck on energy-but whatever it is, I feel pretty ambitious in terms of laundry.

Most days I'm pretty much up and at em', not sitting in my pj's all day; but there are occasional days where my bra doesn't go on til noon or so. Yeah, you read that right-it makes me giggle, I used to stop by my grandma and the first thing she'd say was "just a minute, I haven't even put my bra on". It's not such a bad thing:).

I have this incessant need to bake, which I'm not really a baker-but I do enjoy making things that the kids can help with. And for the fun of it, today I froze 10 lbs of ground sirloin, 2.5 lbs of ground turkey, and 10 baked chicken breasts.

But lastly, I have had the opportunity to just sit in the chair and rock Ainslee, and I've been able to take my time and read a few books to Laura, draw a picture, or paint her nails, or whatever it might be. I see Alex onto the bus in the a.m. and back off after school-and all of those things are reminders of what this very house was to me when I was a child. I would frequently get off the bus at Grandma's, she was so patient and would really "play" with me, and we would just sit for hours in the old green upholstered recliner rocking. I remember those times so fondly, I hope my children will too.

My house will never be spotless whether I'm home all day or not, it will always have some level of "mess" in it. I don't know if age has made me a little more patient to the thought that "there's always tomorrow" as far as cleaning goes, and I'm happy just working on small projects daily-rather than tackle the whole house.

I'm pleasantly surprised with how well the transition is going into the sah world. I think this time around I'm a little more prepared, we've recently become members of the Y which will provide us with some "outside" entertainment and social life. The kids are all participating in classes, and I'm hoping to get back into a workout routine. We'll also be visiting the library, and Laura is attending a 3k class, one day a week. I'm really excited just to be "available" to all of this.

Classes start Nov 1st for me, I'm a little dampened by the courses-an Art201 and Eng230 course. One a liberal art I'm required to take-and the other is a pre-req to many of the other courses. My Eng credits from UW-L were over 10 years old and couldn't transfer-bummer. I think they'll be good "warm-ups" back into the school life for me.

Life is good.

In parenting, the days are long and the years are short

I just read this comment on one of my Facebook friend's wall, and the words cut me like a knife. After much consideration and weighing my options, I've recently decided to stop working part-time and stay home with the kids. And I'm finally going to seriously pursue my bachelors degree fulltime. I'm sure many are thinking How's she going to manage college if they can't afford daycare, or she wants to spend time with her kids? Enter the beauty of an accelerated-evening curriculum, oh and student loans. I'll be the first to admit that 31 isn't the ideal time in one's life to pursue a degree, but then again-most things that happen in life aren't "ideal".

With the help of my associates degree, it should take me about 2 years to complete my degree-2 years, that's it. Ainslee will be 3, will be entering the public pre-k program within a year, and will make up the bulk of our daycare expenses. Alex will be 7 and Laura 5. . . . that thought is so daunting to me, almost all of my kids will be in school by then. It's daunting, but that is the very reason I decided to stop working-that and the thought of paying others to watch my children while we break even w/ daycare costs wasn't an option for us.

So if all goes as planned, just about the time Ainslee's hoping on that bus, and I'm strolling back up the driveway on the verge of a mental breakdown, I'll hopefully be landing myself a "real" job-with hopes of paying off that student loan by the time they all graduate from high school!

In all seriousness, time goes by too fast-I want to enjoy my kids while they are young. I also want to pursue my own career/education goals, so when they are all off to school I can enter the wide wide work world w/ a degree, because not many places are hiring w/ much less. Now seems like the right time for me to have the best of both worlds-godspeed to us!

Laura ism's, the good, bad, and the ugly

You know how some parents dub the "terrible twos" as a very colorful time for most kids? I'm finding that 3 is giving me a little more run for my money.

To give you a little insight, last week we were over at my parent's house so the kids could ride bike on a nice blacktop driveway. Alex decided he wanted to rake up some leaves into a really big pile and tidy up the yard a bit, well Laura decided to go over and aggravate Alex by attempting to jump in the leaf pile. Words ensued, and from around the corner of the garage all I heard was "I gunna kick your ass Alex". I quickly intercepted, and promptly had her put her bike away. She showed little remorse, as a matter of fact, she grinned at me as she pushed her bike past me. Most parents would be enraged but 1) I know her saying that is a result of my own failure of censoring her from that phrase and 2) that smile lead me to believe that it was all worth it. She's weighing her options these days, some things are worth losing rewards over-and others aren't.

She frequently tells me "she's not gunna be my priend", or just the opposite when she's feeling good: "I like you mommy", I'll respond telling her I love her, and she comes back still w/ the "I like you". Laura's personality reflects much of a "middle child" persona, which means she tests the boundaries-she doesn't accept all the answers given to her, and she's very good at entertaining herself, patiently I might add. She's an attention seeker when it comes to her sister, and an aggravator when it comes to her brother. She is Laura.

This was a perfect lesson in that the terrible 2, 3, and 4's are only what you make them; I'm guessing if I watched my tongue a little more often, mine might not be so difficult!