Fall

It has taken us a bit to feel the full effects of Fall, but slowly every week the temps fall a little more and little more.  Peak colors have come and gone in the matter of a week, and the trees are becoming bare.  It's nature's way of telling us that the snow might as well fall.

The kids are off to another school year and each of them are adjusting to their new routines well.

Alex: he participated in the Holmen Youth Tackle Football program for the second year, and it's amazing to see how much they mature in just a year with regards to sports.  I'll admit of all sports, unless I'm watching a Packer game, football is one of my least favorite sports to watch.  I'm sure it had a bit to do with the fact the weather rarely dipped below 60, so that is definitely my kind of football weather.  He's adjusted to middle school very well, and is actually quite talkative about his day, so that has been a warm welcome to hear about the social and academic scenes of school for him.  He's in full hunting swing as well, spending most weekends hunting with Jason and my dad.  Basketball started this past week, so he's already moved onto the next sport physically and mentally.

Laura: she is the only child at the Mindoro school (the others are in Melrose) this year, and she's enjoying her independence. A friend and co-worker of mine got Laura started out with knitting a few years ago, so in her quest to take her knitting to the next level she's joined a community beginner's knitting class.  Needless to say, she is the only 4th grader in the class, but it doesn't phase her at all and the instructor is a retired teacher who has really made her feel welcome.  For the class she has to pick a project, she's starting with a scarf but already has her next goal set to knit a hat once she works on her technique for a bit. I admire her tenacity and love supporting her in something that will be a life skill/hobby.

Ainslee:  my little, messy firecracker.  She literally goes with the wind, the week before school starts she wants nothing to do with it, once it starts-she couldn't imagine life without it.  She has a tendancy to be a bit. . . of a messy bessy.  I've reveled in the ability to pass all of Laura's clothes down to Ainslee, they were born in the same seasons, same build, etc.  But Ainslee isn't quite as 'careful' as Laura or Alex. . . so it didn't take long for her small wardrobe to quickly become all play clothes.  I rode summer out without buying anything for her knowing she'd probably ruin it anyways, but school time came and now with the cooler weather I had to finally break down and buy her some nice clothes.  It's been a process to say the least, with lots of reminders of being aware of her food, paint, dirt, etc.  She came home one day after wearing a brand new dress, and it was covered in stains. . . "We talked about this, what happened?"  YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WE WERE HAVING HAMBURGERS!  Was her response.  So while it's a work in progress, I know she's a 1st grader whose going to make messes. . and Alex and Laura's neatness are not your typical child characteristic, so I give her a little slack and giggle about the thoughts that go on in her head, that she has no problem voicing.

We're over a year in since our move, and a lot of people ask me where we are at.  I have to say that it feels really good to not be the new kids on the block the start of this school year, and have some sense of what to expect with regards to the school year, sports, etc.  Despite being pretty introverted, I have tried to immerse myself in the culture of the area as a means to become more familiar, and have a clear understanding of the resources around me.  It's taken about a year, but I've finally found a church that feels 'normal' to our family, and most like the church we came from and that makes me feel like the one thing that was missing in our transition is finally there.  The girls and I have made our own tradition of going to church, then trying out a new restaurant, visiting the local co-op, a park, or taking a hike.  The excess of coffee shops and farm to table restaurants in the area make it fun for when my mom is visiting, cause I know she's always up for trying something new.  And I love the abundant music scene here, every weekend there is some kind of musical festival or another and most of the events are kid friendly.  I would say that we've transitioned and we are embracing our new home.  That being said, I still miss my parents as much today as I did the day we moved.  Given our close relationship, I don't think that feeling will ever go away; they give me a love and emotional support that nobody else can.  That love and support just looks different at a distance, so part of the transition is getting used to what that looks like.  I am extremely blessed that while rarely do they come together, both of my parents come visit on a pretty regular basis during the school year, so not only do I get to enjoy them, but my kid's don't feel as though they are missing from the picture despite the distance and that's important to me.  My priorities have shifted since the move, I used to take pride in what the outside of our home looked like, but knowing that nobody really ever sees our house I don't fret over pulling weeds, and I've had to adjust to not being able to mow the lawn myself as the terrain is just too steep for me.  Mowing the lawn used to be my therapy, I've replaced that now with going to workout-whether that's an organized class or hitting a local hiking trail along the river.  You'll find that my house is pretty simple, I don't do a lot of decorating (much to my mom's dismay)-if my house is orderly and clean, that is enough for me.  I'm still very much a routine person but our move has made me re-prioritize my routine, and I've tried to focus on more of the moments vs. the to do list which makes me feel really content.  Content is good.

 

July/August

As expected, our summertime has flown and my last update was June.  Once Alex wrapped up baseball season, we headed back towards family to celebrate the 4th of July.  After that we headed up north for nine days where we celebrated both Laura and I's birthday with family and friends.  It was our only 'family' vacation per se, so we enjoyed a few days to ourselves between visitors. Each of the kids enjoyed time alone with grandparents and family, which also gave them a break from each other, and allowed Jason and I to have some one on one time with each of the kids as well so I truly think the summer gave us the best of both worlds.  Highlights of the second half of the summer include cooling off in many of the community pools in our area and Wazee Lake, the kid's favorite.  We visited Bookworm Garden's,a family favorite, and then checked out Kohler-Andre State Park for the first time.  We loved it so much that we made a point to go back for a second visit.  We hiked at a few of our favorite lookouts, and tried a few new trails at Hixon Forest in La Crosse.  We checked out the Root River Bike Trail system which is another hidden gem not far from home.

When you read all of the activities, and literally I had to look at the calendar just to know exactly what we all accomplished this summer-it sounds as though we were incredibly busy, almost too busy. But in all honesty, we weren't; it was very relaxed with many days of just relaxing at home or with family build in between outings.  I'm very blessed to have a husband that works so hard, and provides for our family to be able to spend the summer with my children, he is the reason we have the ability to go back and visit family as much as our hearts desire during their time off of school.  He is content not going back to visit as often; however, he recognizes that it is something that the kids and I enjoy/need to do as we all continue to transition into a life of living at a distance from family.    

Here we are, a day before school starts. . . and as I look back on this summer, it hasn't really been one where I find myself pulling my hair out and ready to ship them back.  I'm sure the fact that Alex spent almost an entire month back with family greatly helps with the 'getting sick of each other' factor, but there were many individual activities they were able to participate in as well which helped to break up the monotony.  The only thing I'm really looking forward to with the start of school is getting back to a routine, I think I can hear my house cry just a little bit for more organization and cleanliness. My very routine personality craves it; however, summertime is always an opportunity for me to live on the wild side because I know the memories and time together will be remembered long after the house was clean, laundry was done, fridge was full, and dinner on the table.  

June

We are well on our way into summer 2016, as usual time is moving too fast!  The kids and I took a short trip out to visit my sister and her family in Colorado their first week off of school.  Usually when they are in Wisconsin visiting they have to share their time between families, so it was wonderful to have each other all to ourselves.  These are the kid's only cousins that are close in age to them, so they truly do make the most of every moment with each other.  The days were filled with lots of horse grooming, chicken handling, and imagination.  We even got up to Estes for a day and went on one of my favorite hikes: Dream Lake.  What a different experience of being able to do a hike with the kids tagging along, on foot.  Alex, my brother-in-law, and nephew headed up in the mountains camping for a few days while we were out there.  He noted that his favorite part of no girls was that he didn't have to have his picture taken every 10 minutes.  They got to cook their breakfast over the fire, and cast their fishing poles whenever their hearts desired with a beautiful mountain backdrop.

                        

The day before we headed out to Colorado, we went to a waterpark in Minneapolis for a short family vacation and to celebrate Jason's birthday.  We all had a lot of fun, and again it was a very different experience for us as our kid's were all old enough to go on most of the rides and explore the park on their own.

Only a mom would.  .  . insert your sentence.  For this month, mine would read 'only a mom would put off going to the doctor as to not interfere with a family vacation. . . only to return and find out that she has shingles'.  It took a bit of diagnosing since I'm younger than your typical shingles patient, but my symptoms were pretty tell tale: burning, itching, pain, tingling, etc.  I just finished a potent round of antivirals and antibiotics, and my face finally looks as though it's on the mend.  I still have nerve pain on the left side of my face that comes and goes, so hopefully that will subside sooner rather than later.

The kids are in the second and final week of summer school classes, and have really enjoyed them.  Who wouldn't enjoy subjects like horse riding, archery, and scrapbooking (Laura), basketball, golf, and weightlifting (Alex), carnivals, volleyball, art, and musical instruments (Ainslee).  We'll see you in July!

Springtime has come and gone. . .

It's been a while since my last post, so you'll find that this one is going to be to the point and filled with photos of what we have been up to. Alex shot his first turkey this year and he was blessed to have both his grandpa and his dad be a part of the hunt, and not only that-my nephew captured the hunt on video.  Jake takes photos and videos through the lens of someone who has been in Alex's footsteps with regards to those amazing opportunities Alex has gotten to share with my dad, I am so thankful he captures it in a way that can be treasured.

Between work and children's activities, Jason also managed to get out turkey hunting and shot himself one.  It's funny how life has changed, it used to be about making the time to get out and this particular hunt was him literally squeezing it in after work, and then rushing home in time to get a photo before dark!

Alex celebrated his 11th birthday, which is almost impossible to believe.  Grandpa Jim made the trip over to help sing and blow out the candles, and his other grandparents came up to watch him participate in his first 3on3 basketball tournament.  So while it wasn't typical, he certainly enjoyed a longer drawn out birthday, celebrating with many people.  The realization that he has been with us more years than we have left with him is a sobering thought, but every year proves to be a lesson in letting go in one way or another-I think it's God's way of preparing us mentally, knowing we can't harness this amazing boy all to ourselves forever.

My parents made the trip over for a belated Mother's Day together, so we got my mom out for a 'little' hike.  My intention wasn't to give her cardiac arrest, but to get her out and give her an appreciation for some of the amazing scenery on this side of the state.  For 71 years old, she did pretty damn good, she was only a few yards from the very top of the bluff but that was far enough for her-the view was still amazing.

Laura participated in soccer this spring, and it is the first team sport she has participated in since she did the swim team a year or so ago.  I think the break did her good, she came to the field with a different approach to organized sports as a whole, and playing on a team was something that helped her to truly love the experience.  She had a great group of girls, as well as a real no nonsense coach, which was just what she needed.  It's so interesting seeing all of my kid's personalities emerge, extra curricular activities can really bring out certain qualities more than others and I think that is really half the fun of watching them play, grow, and improve.  She finished out her school year, and her experience this year has been night and day from her previous school setting-both academically and socially.  She had a wonderful teacher who really made her feel valued, and that is a something that Laura really needed to experience.  That combined with maturing and having a great support group of friends has made her transition seamless.

Ainslee Ruth graduated from Kindergarten last week, and the school put on this beautiful concert and ceremony.  I was fortunate enough to spend a couple hours, twice a week in her classroom which allowed me to meet her classmates and get to know her teacher.  It was sometimes what I would consider my 'outing' for the week, and I really think it was my lifeline on some of the tougher weeks for me.  Having an adult conversation with her teacher, or just seeing the other kid's misbehave made me feel like maybe I wasn't failing at this parenting gig as bad as I thought.

Here they all are on the last day of school.  I make a point to get a first day and last day shot in the same spot just so I can use the first photo as a comparison of how much they have changed.  I sniffle at how Ainslee has lost her baby face, along with her baby teeth, lol.  It brings tears to my eyes to think back on that first day photo and how we had to wait for Alex to dry the tears from his own eyes because of his mixed emotions of starting all over in a new school before taking that picture, and seeing now how happy he is-and how well he's transitioned.  I am struck by how beautiful Laura is, inside and out.  Some days she's a teenager stuck in an 8 year old's body, but she has this amazing personality that can help me to see something in a completely different light.  The school had a talent show the last day, and as we left that last day I couldn't help but feel like 'we made it'.  It was such a relief to walk out those doors, and know that we would be coming back-there was no unknown for the next year, and no feeling like we were closing this huge chapter in our life.

Speaking of closing huge chapters. . . . After having our home in Eldorado for sale for almost a year, we finally closed on it in early May. Words will never describe the emotions that went along with this chapter of living in limbo in our lives.  We loved that house, Jason poured his craftsmanship into it while I cherished the fond memories that it held for our family, as well as my own childhood memories.  However, that love started to feel like a double edged sword as it sat vacant, it became a burden to others, we couldn't celebrate the possibility of it being sold because some family members were struggling with their own emotions of letting that house go, and we couldn't talk about our emotions to other family members because they couldn't relate to our instrinsic feelings for a house on any level at all.  As much as you want to tell yourself that it's a business transacation, neither one of us will truly look at it that way.  That house sat vacant for over a year before we decided to take the risk of completely renovating 8 years ago to what it is now.  We poured our hearts into it, Jason loved that he knew that house from inside out literally.  I loved all the memories that living in that house sparked for myself, and my family.  Our kids grew up in that home, the murals on the wall, the height markers in the closet, the annual flowering of my grandmother's clematis and my grandfather's bridal wreaths, the concrete stamps that span over 30 years: my grandparent's and my own child's prints.  Those are physical things, but they have forever left an imprint on my heart that I know will live on regardless of where we are.  Nobody will ever care for or love that house as much or as well as we did, however, it's a relief to know there is a new family in there starting their own chapter.  That house was meant to be lived in, large families, and lots of love.  The week before we closed on the house I was feeling very anxious, one early morning I woke up from a dream.  In that dream I had walked in the door of my grandparent's house and my grandmother was sitting there in her chair by the phone, I walked over to her and gave her a hug and she distinctly told me things would be okay-and as I hugged her, I could smell her.  That smell lingered with me as I woke from that dream.  The emotional pressure of feeling like I was responsible for so many other people's sadness or happiness during this move has at times been really unbearable.  Some divine intervention was honestly just what I needed to help me realize that only so much is in my hands.  As time has went on since the closing I have had a great sense of relief, and it's also allowed us to start making the home we live in feel a little more like our own with finishing touches here and there.

Onto summer:  sunshine, warm temps, baseball games, fishing, golfing, and just enjoying some fresh air.  The kids and I are making a small 'bucket list' for the summer, some specific hikes and bike rides we want to do, as well as, check out some of the local aquatic centers.  We also plan on spending a healthy amount of time visiting family and old friends.

I love you be cus

We've had a relatively quiet month, what little winter weather we got has quickly disappated and made way for Spring.  I think most Wisconsinites can agree that this winter was anything but normal for us; however, the mildness of it doesn't hurt my feelings at all.  For Valentine's Day Laura came up with the idea to take a piece of paper for each family member and write down what we love about that person.  Then take the notes out at a later date and review them together.  Whether it's for a Hallmark holiday, or for no reason at all; I suggest that every family take the time to do so periodically.  It's a great excuse to stop and appreciate those around you, and to take the time to physically acknowledge each other.  Life is so busy, days come and go, and often times we don't take the time to let other's know that they are indeed loved, and why that person is so important in our lives.

Alex wrapped up his first organized basketball experience, and the overall consensus is that he really enjoyed it.  My pride didn't come in the form of a win, but in seeing progress in him with every single game and to see him actually put some of our practice at open gyms and team practices to fruition.  I cheered when he missed the shot simply because I was so excited that he did the move we practiced time and time again.  His Valentine's card to me was:  You take me to open gyms, and I like that alot. Having a common thread with my ten year old son is going to become far and few between in the next years, so I'm going to revel in the swelling of my heart when I see him enjoying some of the same things I did as a kid.  Now he patiently waits for baseball season to roll around and see what that looks like on this side of the state.  Good attitude, easy going, and hardworking were among his Valentine's.

At the moment Laura is laying low and recovering from oral surgery.  She had a frenectomy on both the top and bottom of her mouth, and a soft tissue skin graft on her front lower teeth.  Literally, a mouthful.  She is participating in a basketball camp that the high school is hosting for the 2nd and 3rd graders, and she too is finding that she's really enjoying the game.  Creative was the common theme in Laura's Valentine's from many of us, there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't come up with some innovative idea like a dress made out of recycled plastic bags.  The other fun thing about doing the Valentine's activity is forcing kid's to think of nice things to say about someone they don't necessarily like. . . this would be Alex and Laura.  Alex swallowed his pride and said "I like that you can sometimes be funny." When Laura read that, you would have thought she won the lottery, pretty funny how a small thing can lift someone's day.

Ainslee continues to progress in her reading and has become quite the overachiever, every month she gets a homework packet and often times she will work at it at a much faster pace than expected (she will typically finish the entire months worth within two weeks).  Here she is with one of her classmates, her first school playdate with someone from here.  Reading her Valentine's were probably the best part of the whole activity, she's to the point where she likes to do things on her own, and she has some pretty mean Kindergarten spelling skills-she's so straight from the heart.  For instance, she loves Alex "becus you play with me".  She loves me because I "cep her clen" (keep her clean).  "Dad I love you be cus you sled with me".

Alex was again blessed to have a wonderful cheering crowd at any given tournament. Grandparents, an aunt, and cousins alike made the trip to watch him.  I can't thank these people enough who take time out of their schedule and make the drive over, the thoughtfulness doesn't go un-noticed from Alex or us. With this mild weather Jason has been a doing a lot of shed hunting, here is a photo from one of the first trips out with my nephew, Alex, and Ava.

Snow Day

This past month has finally given us a true Wisconsin feel, a few significant snowfalls and some bitter temp days.  The kids have even enjoyed a few snow days, and plenty of 2 hour delays which is a warm welcome to this house after having very few at our previous school. The kids enjoyed some great sledding, Alex played with the neighbor boys, and the girls had a karaoke party.  I'm not sure who the back to back snow days was harder on: my patience, the kid's boredom level, or the interruption to Ava's rest.

Poor Ainslee has dealt with constipation issues a good majority of her 6 year life and the wintertime is a time that it typically crops up on her. She's gotten to the point where she will tell me if she needs intervention or is having issues, so this particular bout caught us off guard and hit her really hard. Ains stayed home on Monday, and at about 10 a.m. I got a call from school saying Laura didn't look well and had a low grade fever, so they thought they would call me because they were concerned she might be coming down with the same thing Ainslee had. . . you know, constipation.  I wasn't going to argue to the point that what Ainslee had wasn't contagious, so off we went to pick Laura up.  Laura came home and was fine. . . So in the afternoon I sent her out to take Ava for a walk.  While they were gone Ava got into a fight with some barb wire, and came back obviously not winning the battle.  Fortunately her injuries appeared to be superficial, but I thought she should be checked out just to cover all our bases however I couldn't take her that day because Jason had to work late due to the impending snowstorm we were expecting.  Their first opening was just about the time the snowstorm was supposed to roll into the area the following day.  Her injuries were superficial, and of course they were on her beautiful face. We'll be lucky if her hair grows back in that area, and even better yet-we'll be lucky if the hair isn't white!

Meanwhile, Ainslee was lethargic and had cramps that continually got worse over the course of 3 days. . . .  After we got many inches of snow dumped on us, she took a turn for the worse and we made the decision to make the trek into town to urgent care just to rule out a blockage or appendicitis.  So we all jumped in the vehicle and made the trip because I was too afraid to drive alone in the awful driving conditions.  It was certainly a time where I missed the ability to just drop a kid off at my parents while we tended to some other issue with one of the kids or the dog; however, we made it through just fine. Ainslee was also fine, as the doctor so pleasantly put it "fire the Miralax back up".

 I have a google spreadsheet labeled "Emergency" and within it are all of our important contacts: doctors organized by specialities, veterinarian, kid's teachers, insurance information, etc.  Basically a spreadsheet I've created for Jason or anyone else, in the event I die they will know every thing they need to know about finances and service and medical providers for our family.  When we first moved I shuddered to have to re-establish ourselves in all of these areas, so I coordinated well checks, dentists, and vet visits prior to our move so it was one less thing to have to worry about. Up until this past month, I've managed to fit in hair colors, impromptu vet visits in on the weekends that we are back in Eldorado and any small medical issues have been handled over the phone with their previous doctors.  In the past two weeks I've went to a new hairstylist, an urgent care doctor, and a veterinarian and it was a big growing pain for me. Slowly but surely each line of that spreadsheet is being updated to reflect our life here, but damn it is so hard to find that level of comfort that has taken me what feels like a lifetime to establish.

What's new with the kids lately:  Alex has two basketball tounaments under his belt, and two more left.  He continues to really enjoy the sport, and he does great considering this is his first year participating in it as an organized sport.  I've enjoyed going to open gyms and helping him work on his fundamentals.  He enjoys the winter months and getting outside to sled, build forts with the neighbor, and help with keeping the driveway cleaned off.  Laura continues to practice her innovative thinking and creativity, during the snow days she took some old tank tops, and used some fabric she got for Christmas and sewed herself a new fashion statement that turned out awesome.  Aside from Ainslee's bout with constipation she has been doing well too, she also enjoys getting outside and sledding.  She continues to progress through her sight words and homework and amazes me at how well she reads at such a young age (mom brag).  Ava took the week off from reading due to her injury, so she's anxious to get back into the swing of things.  She enjoys every morning when Alex and Laura take her for a walk up to the neighbor's cabin behind our house and then sled the entire way back down, she's right in the mix of it with a big smile on her face.  This past weekend we went back to Eldorado to visit family, and we were fortunate enough to get to spend some time with cousins from Colorado.  A group of us took the kids to a great tubing hill, young and old we all enjoyed taking turns with each of the kids. Alex got to see an old friend, went rabbit hunting, and got to put a couple poles in the water so he would probably say the weekend was a success.  The girls enjoyed playing with makeup, eating in grandma's bedrooms, making a snowman, and got some sledding in as well.  The time was short, but we certainly made the most of it!

My Kettlebells and Treadmill Help Me Slow Down and Obsess Over the Weight of Life's Problems

Back in November I posted about my introduction to kettlebell workouts, so here I am back to give you my follow up report on how that is progressing for me.  Let me start this out by saying that my weightloss journey began in January of 2015 and continues to this day, because it is honestly a process of making continual lifestyle changes.  I started with getting back into a cardio routine, and then naturally because I had time to cook at home, I consumed less calories and was making healthier food choices.  Summer time was more of a maintenance routine for me because with the kids home from school, my daily routine went out the door so I kind of held onto my weightloss goals by a thread.  At the end of August I had my annual physical, and I was excited to head to the doctor and just see what my numbers looked like down on paper.  At that point I was down 25 pounds, and my cholesterol had naturally dropped 50 points in a year.  We made the move to Mindoro shortly thereafter, and the kids started school which was a warm welcome to me mostly because I was ready to resume some kind of routine.  I hopped back on the cardio train and got myself back on track to where I had been at the previous spring. . . which brought me to this fall when I made the decision that I needed to up my game a bit, enter kettlebells.  A close friend of mine had suggested Eupraxia to me, so I signed up for the free week just to see what it was like.  I posted about my near death experience after the first week. . . . and then I returned for a second week, then I actually signed up for an 8 week session just to see if it was truly for me.  When I started the process I had a beginning FIT test done which is basically a benchmark, which includes physical measurements as well as exercises such as push ups, pull ups, and burpees. So my noteable 8 week stats are that I doubled the amount of burpees I can do in a minute, blew the length of my plank out of the water, and I've lost 1.5 inches in my hips and waist, .25 inch in my arms, and my thighs actually became a .50 bigger.  Weightwise I lost 3 pounds, and their scale isn't your everyday bathroom scale.  It measures the body fat percentage, bmi, the weight of your fat, muscle, and water respectively so you get a better idea of where your body is at. So the 3 pounds I lost was all fat, and I managed to bring my BMI down to a healthier range.  I was pretty stoked after my FIT test, I never realized how motivational having the numbers down on paper could be to me.  Those are the hard numbers, but my soft personal feedback is that I actually enjoy going to the workouts now-so much so that a workout on the treadmill on my off days kind of bums me out.  My endurance on the treadmill has increased tenfold, and the burn and muscle soreness of each of the workouts has kind of become a new "normal" for me.  My goal is to get there 2-3 days a week, and tmill 2-3 days.  I have been going for over 9 weeks, and have yet to do the same workout twice-the people there are nice, positive, and make me want to get to that next weight up.  Which by the way, I'm still a total wimp. . . I still stick with the motto of lighter weights, good form otherwise things could get kind of ugly.  My goal of trying this was to break through a plateau, which I have-while the scale may not have moved a lot, I can tell a huge difference in my body composition and how I feel overall.    

For me, I know that I would not have accomplished any of this if I had a fulltime, work out of the home job so I am not preaching some holier than though story of weightloss and how it's all a big balancing act, a magic pill, starving yourself, etc.  What it honestly came down to for me was having the time to commit to exercising, and preparing healthier meals.  It's plain and simple, I can only live in so much chaos so while working out of the home, if I had my kids homework, laundry and the house clean, that was enough for me.  Sadly my own health and well being has taken a back seat to that, but everybody has their breaking point and for me-that was the wheel in my life I felt I could safely lose but still keep moving forward.  When I hear of other people's weightloss struggles similar to mine of juggling everyday life things, and struggling to find a moments peace to yourself, let alone an hour to exercise; despite where I'm at now in my life, I was that same person not that long ago.  I currently don't work out of the home because my husband's work schedule and responsibilities change on a regular basis, making it very difficult for someone like me who relies on consistency and schedule, to go out and get a job in my field.  We've also decided as parents that we can't both chase after a career dream and truly be present in our children's lives, so one of us has committed to chasing the career while the other is committed to being present.  I'm the latter part of that equation, so while I'm sure many think "it must be nice to only have to worry about working out for the day", my response would be. . . . it is.    Along with the million other things I organize, clean, and think about on a daily basis.  I realize how very fortunate I am, my faith and this exercise journey are the two things that have helped me to cope with the stress and change that has taken place in my life this past year.

Holiday Season 2015

Winter (or seasonal temps and snow) finally made its arrival shortly after Christmas, and with it came the holiday spirit.  We were fortunate to spend over a week back home which involved the usual holiday gatherings with family.  The kids had an opportunity to catch up with friends from their old school, and I got an opportunity to catch up with 'mom' friends and old friends alike.  

Alex is approaching the age where it's harder and harder to believe in Santa, whether it's feedback from peers or someone outright telling him that Grandma just pays Santa to come to her house. Regardless of whether he believes or not, he's the type of kid that will pretend to believe for fear that no gifts might actually come and to simply keep the magic alive for his sisters.  This Christmas was one of the simplest and best we've had in quite some time.  I didn't fret over getting Christmas cards out because I just didn't do them this year.  I stuck very close to the budget on those gift exchanges we were obligated to, and aside from a few toys/games, we got the kids necessities such as clothes, shoes, etc. that they could use.  It felt good for once to get through the holiday season and feel like it was practical and meaningful rather than feeling obliged and excessive.

Some of our highlights home for the week were starting each morning out with a fresh pot of coffee at my parents, and not having to be anywhere at any specific time.  Ainslee enjoyed playing with her art, crafts, and legos every morning, and Laura and I usually worked on one of her spa chemistry activities.  Alex and grandpa did their usual putzing, and even Laura got in on a few coffee clutch trips to the neighbor's with Grandpa.  We went to the rollerskating rink one day to test out Ainslee's new rollerblades, lunch and hot tubbing, lots of dinners in with family, enjoyed a fish fry and wrapped up the week singing happy birthday in celebration of my mom's 71st birthday.  

While I was home over break my sisters, mom and I went to the movie Sisters with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, it was a good, clean, funny movie that had a touching plot.  The two girls parent's were in the process of selling their childhood home, so the girls were asked to go to the home one last time and clean their stuff out of the bedroom before it was sold.  The girls struggled with all the memories the home held for them, so they decided to have one last party at the house.  It was a story line I could definitely relate to:  home isn't a place, home is a feeling.  When I look back at photos from this time last year, I am amazed at the amount of change that has taken place in our lives in such a short amount of time.  Not only have our lives physically and emotionally changed, but so have our own thought processes and ability to cope with change itself.  When we first embarked on this journey not only was the actual moving and adjusting process overwelming, but the emotional 'letting go' of our home in Eldorado has probably been one of the hardest realities we have faced.  The home has never been just a house to us, we spent 10 months pouring our lives into this home physically, emotionally, and financially.  Not only did it hold intrinsique value for me since I spent a large part of my childhood there, but equal significance to Jason because he was the labor and emotion behind the transformation of this house from my grandparents to ours.  We walked that tight balance between retaining the character of an old farmhouse, making it as efficient as possible, yet making it our own. To simply put it up for sale was very difficult for all of us.  I don't think I'll ever truly embrace the idea of just letting our house go; however, as time goes on, and our trips back to Eldorado and that house involve cleaning, mouse erradication, coordinating house showings with a realtor, relying on others to keep the yard, pool, and driveways maintained I think it's God's way of helping me let go of it just a little at a time.  I'm not saying it won't hurt when we do sell it; however, there is solace in knowing that nobody will love that house like we did and relief that the house we so loved is no longer a burden to us and others.  These past few months have shown me that it really is just a house, home is that warm fuzzy feeling we get when we are surrounded by those who have supported and loved us through this transformation.  

And as wonderful as the week visiting was, we were all ready to get back to a sense of normalcy and routine.  We returned to snow filled hills at home in Mindoro, the kids and Jason literally spent two days outside taking advantage of the amazing sledding hills we have right in our yard.  By the time the new year rolled around, we were all ready to head back to school.  Welcome 2016!