Memorial Day memories

We're very fortunate that we were able to purchase and remodel my maternal grandparent's farmhouse, aside from a very big construction undertaking-it was nice to ensure that the house that held so many memories for so many people was going to be 'taken care of'.

I spent a large portion of my childhood at my grandparents house, they were our next door neighbor and Grandma was my designated babysitter-my great aunt Cile will attest to the fact that I was almost always at my grandparent's side. I was always guaranteed Twinkies, candy, cookies, and best of all Mt. Dew. I was one of those kids who became very naughty after a can of Dew (or a combination of all of the above)-so my mom just loved picking me up!

I have fond memories of mowing their lawn, hitting the volleyball off the grainery roof, tennis in the barn yard, playing catch with Grandpa, and swinging on the old Ash tree. Other not so fond memories of being stalked by the million barn swallows in the yard-aside from being aggressive "those birds don't hurt anything" Grandpa would say.

I was the youngest of 14 grandchildren, and my grandma would often say that he treated me special. He'd take me down to Brenner's on his bowling league night, take me to the softball games at Taylor park, and many nights I was forced to watch Lawrence Welk for entertainment. He was a farmer, and then he also became a milk hauler-his milk truck was his pride and joy.

Grandpa became ill when I was about 13 years old, I was too young to understand lung cancer and what it meant. But he eventually came home, and hospice became routine for a few months-and then he quietly passed away one night.

After my grandfather passed away, my dad did much of the yard maintenance (minus the lawnmowing-grandma loved mowing). He managed to trim just about everything in the yard; one of Grandpa's prized possessions were the bridal wreaths in the front of the house-I estimate them to be at least 50 years old because there are childhood photos of my mom w/ them in the background as tiny little spindly shrubs. Dad transformed them into boxy, flat looking things that never flowered; when we bought the place it was one of the things I vowed to try and restore back into the way Grandpa would have wanted them-big, bushy, and just like fountains of white on Memorial Day weekend. There are lots of things like that around the house-grandma's peonies, a clematis we transplanted and saved from construction-and now it's waiting for a permanent home, the flowering crab trees, and even a few of those damn barn swallows are among the many things that are still present yet bring back instant memories from 20 years ago.

When I was younger I had framed a poem called "Family Ties" and given it to my grandparents as a gift. It hung on the east living room wall-exactly where it hangs today. Only I have a photo of me and my grandpa, and his old milking hat draped on the corner of it. The other day Alex was walking around w/ the trimmers and he headed for the bridal wreaths, I told him how important it was to leave them the way I have them otherwise Grandpa White would be mad-he turned and looked at me and said, "oh, that Grandpa who left his hat at our house?", I said yep-that's the guy with a big smile on my face.

Life's Update

It's been a few weeks, so I thought I'd take an opportunity to update my blog.

First, thank you for the thoughts on Mag, I'm happy to report that in this past month she has miraculously "stabilized". It was as if the sheer mention of putting her to sleep made her improve overnight. I'm not naive, I know it's not an answer to my prayers or anything, this will be a continual downward slope, but if stabilizing and regaining some coordination prolong that slide, I'll take it.

I've enjoyed a few week hiatus from school, after a pretty grueling 6 week Ethics class. Now onto oral interp, which should be easy-but again it's a 6 week course so it's a lot packed into a little time. I'm fortunate my weekends are slow at work, and they allow me to work on homework during slow times. After that course, I'm tackling an 11 day career dev course, which should be a piece of cake, I think it's just a capstone course to my associate's degree. I'll then enjoy the entire summer off, and then next fall finish up w/ my last 2 courses. . . It was such a relief registering for my final two courses.

Work is 'going', now that I've been into the swing of things for about 3 months-the excitement has worn off, and the reality of this particular job has set in. And that is that this is strictly just a job to me, it offers little fulfillment or satisfaction-but does offer me more time with my kids, decent pay, and benefits. What I'm struggling with is simply not applying myself to my full potential in the IT field, I'm working in the field-but more as a bystander. Weekends are fairly slow, and the work environment is government based; therefore, very political, ie: lots of bitching and backstabbing. Luckily I'm only here for 24 hours a weekend, so it rolls off my shoulders pretty easy. Plus coming from a liberal academic background, that kind of stuff just didn't really happen in my previous position (I know, I was lucky!). I knew coming into this position I would probably struggle with this aspect, so it comes as no surprise; I'm just not sure how I want to handle it.

Mother's Day

My mom had me when she was in her mid 30's, a pretty normal occurence today-but by the standards of that time, she was probably considered "old". I was the youngest of 4 girls, my next sister is 8 years older than me; yet they attest I was not a surprise. So I like to call myself 'my dad's last ditch effort for a boy'. Luckily for him, my sister Sherry is the next best thing:).

Like most mom's of her time, she stayed at home and raised us girls while my dad made a living as an engineer on the railroad, as well as making a pretty decent living of trapping. I remember our garage would be filled from top to bottom with muskrat, and my mom skinned every single one of them with her bare hands. At the time I laughed at her mink coat-little did I know it was such a prized possession; nor did I realize how hard she worked for it!

As my older sisters moved out of the house, mom decided to get a part-time job as a van driver for the county, she went to rural areas and transported elderly. Or as I referred to it at the time the 'tart-cart', yes I realize how politically incorrect that is now. My grandmother and her would work odd days from each other doing the same thing, which enabled me to spend the other half of my time at my grandparents house while she was working.

In my early teens, my parents decided to embark on a new business adventure-meanwhile my father continued to work for the railroad. They built, and managed 3 gas stations along Lake Winnebago's east side. For many reasons it proved to not be a lucrative business for them; however, they remained in the business until I graduated from high school. My mom would get up at 3 a.m. to open the stores, and many times have to close them due to some reason or another. Yet she managed to make it to every single volleyball, basketball, and softball game I ever participated in; along w/ all the usual teenage runnings at that time.

After they sold the stores, my mom decided to apply for a rural mail carrier position in our home town. It was a 9-3 job, which allowed her to interact with many of the people in the community she has grown to know throughout the course of her lifetime. She truly loved this job, and it was wonderful to see her in a job which was so fulfilling.

When Alex was born, my dad had finally reached retirement with the railroad, and because of how railroad pensions are setup-he had also collected one for my mother during those years. So as a stipulation to retirement, she also had to retire whether she was ready for it or not. My parents had spent most of their adult lives as separate entities: dad worked, made money, and then hunted and fished in his spare time. Mom raised the kids, raised the kids, and raised the kids; and in a plea for sanity she took on part-time work. Sadly when my parents reached retirement, they fell into that population who had spent so much time apart-that when they had to, they didn't know how to spend time together.

Luckily for both of them they have 9 grandchildren, and 2 on the way to refocus themselves on. Dad still enjoys his hunting, fishing, and gardening; mom enjoys volunteering, her spirituality, she continues to give herself to all of us girls-and our extended families, and she enjoys going out to Colorado to just get away sometimes. Mom's random acts of kindness:

• stopping to wash my windows when I'm gone but she won't make a point to let me know she did it
• stopping to sweep the garage, pull weeds; dad stops to take care of the bushes
• organizing things within my house when I'm not around-things she knows I just don't make an honest effort to do myself
• sometimes I'll come home to some form of dinner in the fridge or in the oven
• she is almost always there when I need her to watch the kids in a bind
• she's accomodating to whatever is easiest for our life

And these are just a few, and while they may not seem big or come in the form of monetary value-to a mom w/ 2 kids, and one on the way; these things are priceless. I've said it before, her strength comes in her quietness, she doesn't need to tell me the things she's done-because I notice it, and rarely does a day go by that I'm not thanking her or dropping a line telling her how much I appreciate her. I only wish I can give my kids half of what she has given me throughout the short course of my lifetime so far.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there.