Just like riding a bike

I can officially say that I survived my first week back into the working world. Of course it didn't come without its hiccups, it figures that Ainslee would come down with strep the week before, which means Laura conveniently spiked her fever the day before my first day of work. Hey it could have been worse, it could have been on Tuesday right about the time they were going through my orientation of sick and vacation use days.

We survived, and I managed to come down with something viral or bacterial my entire first week which basically rendered me useless as soon as the kids hit their pillows. I finally went to urgent care today with two kids in tow, and the look on the doctor's face was priceless when I said "you don't necessarily have to be treated if you have strep do you?" His response was that I was much more likely a carrier, and suffering from something else. Needless to say our health insurance deductibles for the year were probably met in the past 3 weeks.

The good news: Claritin D works wonders. Alex loves afterschool, and Ainslee loves daycare and her day alone with Grandma Bonnie. Apparently technology knowledge is like riding a bike, I was amazed at the knowledge I retained after being out of the workforce for two years, which amounted to two operating system upgrades in computer lingo and the invention of a million other gadgets. I feel very comfortable in my new position. I had a lot of anxiety going in wondering how out of touch I would be, and praying to God that the working environment was 'normal' for me which means nobody hates one another, and everyone can stomach going to work everyday with minimal bitching (also known as not working for the the State of Wisconsin). I only hope I can retain half of the knowledge I obtained going to college these past few years;)!

The bad news: Laura's struggling the most with the transition, but just coming off strep I'm hoping next week won't be as hard. Also she's gaining lots of friends in afterschool, and the ladies think 'she is such a doll'. Her anxiety tends to come in the form of 'I have a stomach ache, and I really need my mom to pick me up.' I know it will get better for her. Jason and I can probably count on one hand the hours we've actually seen and conversed. He's working long hours this week and weekend, which has been hard when you throw in a night of classes for me and a whole new routine. All I can say to that is it will get better with time, hopefully.

We're only a week in, but this is my report so far: me and the three cheeseballs above are surviving so far!

Work, with compensation

I recently accepted a job offer, I'm set to begin this new journey March 13th. This marks the end of an era for me: moving back into the working world after a 2 year hiatus. The hiatus was part desire and part necessity: I wanted to spend more time with my kids, so it seemed like a natural break that would also allow me to work towards my degree fulltime. Knowing my class load would lighten right about now, I have been scanning jobs and weighing my options for the past couple of months. Little did I know that within a matter of weeks, and a few jobs that interested me, would I have been offered a position.

I will precursor this, my new job will offer work with financial compensation which will be a new concept to me. The past few years I have worked the hardest job of my career in being a stay at home mom, measured not in salary or benefits; but in the smiles, hugs, cuddles, fights, tears, and growth of my children and myself. Most nights you're faced with the sober 'review' of was today a good day, or a bad day from a parenting aspect. What is considered 'good' is largely an individual expectation. Was it that the laundry was done, the house was spotless, and every tumultuous child rearing experience was handled with grace and beauty? Maybe in the perfect world, I guess my life is more reality. The house has never been spotless: my windows are filthy, my bathroom showers are more than desired, my laundry gets done when I have time, and some altercations between my children and I have been nothing close to grace or beauty. My days are measured more in the balance of harmony I can find in my house between my kids, myself, my homework, the normal life errands, etc. And some days I fail miserably; however, I get up the next day knowing it's a new start and the to-do list will still be there. It's time management and multitasking at its best, financial accounting and budgeting 'for dummies', and psychology no professional could ever fathom. Nothing a college education could ever teach you. . . .

I'm ready for this next exciting step in my life, a chance to utilize my education and past skills. The ability to provide for myself, and my family again. Of all the challenges, I think this has been my toughest. Every purchase is scrutinized and I feel this awful guilt when I look at things that are purely entertainment or unnecessary. Like a camera lens I purchased a few years back before Christmas, I felt so guilty over how much it cost that I returned it. Jason has never made me feel this way, it's just inbred in me I think. Prior to having kids I've always had a job, and a sense of pride in my ability to support myself physically, mentally, and financially. Staying at home certainly lays all of this out on the table, I'm thankful Jason has been a tremendous support in so many ways.

I am so grateful for the time I've had with my children, it has taught me so much about them, myself, and it has helped me to appreciate others around me, past and present. I often think to myself, how in the hell was my grandma so patient?! Or, now I know why my mom waited eight years to have me after my sister. I've faced criticism for my parenting skills, for wanting to obtain my education while my kids are little, and who knows what else. While it's been the hardest two years of my life, I can easily say it has been the best.

The time is right for all of us, Alex literally cheered when he found out he gets to go to afterschool. Laura is so ready for school every day neither of us can stand it, lol. And Ainslee enjoys going to the lady who will be babysitting her. It's not as if I'm sitting at home watching a cooing baby smile back at me anymore, we're all ready for a little more independence and a new normal.

Here's to our new 'normal', whatever that might be!