Teri's Table Talk

Two peas in a pod

2012-01-29T12:05:00.004-06:00

Two peas in a pod, that's what I commonly refer to my dad and Alex. Sometimes I think grandparents were put on Earth to fill the void that parents often create when life is filled with work, school, and the everyday hussle and bussle.

I certainly know that my own Grandma very much served as that person to fill the voids in my life. I watch Alex throw his clothes on and trek through the field and down to my parents on his own and it brings back such fond memories for myself. It was only 20 some years ago I was doing the exact same thing, but trekking up the hill. Alex could spend endless days with my dad whether it is purpose-filled with wood cutting, getting minnows, fishing, hunting, creating burn piles, or just sitting down to have a sandwich, and look through old photos.

Alex often asks me questions after he spends the day with my dad, like "did you get to do all kinds of fun stuff with Papa when you were little?" Which is funny, I'm honest and tell him that we didn't spend a whole lot of time together. Dad was still working, and when he was around his hobbies didn't exactly match mine. But I tell Alex that it doesn't matter, all that matters is that he gets to spend quality time with my dad.

When I was younger I'd hear people say "she spends too much time with her Grandma, or Ruth always has that kid". What they don't know is that I appreciated every damn day I got to spend with her, and my parents are probably just as grateful. We'd play cards, look at old photo albums, the same photos Alex and my dad look at because ironically they used to be stored in my maternal grandparents house even though they were my dad's photos.

This photo is Alex's dresser, and on it Alex has compiled lots of nick nacks that my dad has put together for him, meaningful gifts, along with a photo dad took of him while fishing last summer. All that kid talks about is how he can't wait til next summer when him and Papa can go fishing on Lake Abago every day.

I reflect on this often, especially since my grandma passed away. I see myself so much in Alex when he spends a day with my dad, the things he talks about, and just the overall admiration for someone. I certainly won't hesitate to send him to tag along with Papa, life is too short to worry about overstepping your boundaries because some day you'll wish you had just one more day to spend with that person!

To walk, or not walk-that is the question?

2011-12-20T10:58:00.002-06:00

I received some somewhat disheartening news this week, I had hoped to finish up with school by the 4th of July. However, a capstone course I'm required to take is not offered until the end of summer. I had hoped to sneak in the course in the Spring when it was offered in Fond du Lac; unfortunately I will be completing the final course required to take the capstone course simultaneously-so they will not let me take the course as I had hoped. In the big picture another month of classes really is nothing to write home about.

I've been asked by many if I plan on participating in the graduating ceremony, and up until recently I hadn't really considered it. Marian now only offers one ceremony, but they will allow students who have up to 6 credits to finish, to walk in the May ceremony. My reasoning for not participating would be, what's the point of dragging my kids to see me walk, only to watch me continue taking classes through the summer? Seems somewhat pointless to them, and for me anti-climactic.

But then I think back to an email I received from my math prof while I was going to Moraine Park Technical College, she took the time out of her day to send me an email telling me that she'd hoped I would participate in the graduation ceremony, and take some time to reflect on what I've accomplished. At the time I was in her class, I entered her class literally 1 week post-childbirth in an effort to finish my associates degree. When I completed her class, she sent me this email and it's stuck in my mind. I didn't participate in the ceremony, I figured why throw one more event into the schedule, one more day to find a sitter, etc.

I'm starting to think maybe I should, after all this is my accomplishment and one of the few things in life I can call my very own. Those of you who obtained degrees long after high school, what is your feedback? Did you walk, if not-do you wish you would have? Is it all just ceremonial?

An update. . . .

2011-12-01T07:35:00.002-06:00

It's been a little over a month since my last post, and it's been a busy one. We're in the midst of the holiday season already, which is hard to believe!

Ainslee: her months milestones are that she has finally done away with her crib. That transition was pretty seamless, but it should be when you've spent the last few months crawling out of your crib to sleep on the floor! She is working on potty training, nothing real serious other than undies around home, and pull ups; one of these days we'll buckle down on that too. Her vocabulary grows by the day, and while most people can't understand her-I can, and that just reminds me how much she's growing up. She's developed a new personality that is kind of sassy, boisterous, and doesn't listen too well-so yes, she's officially two!

Laura: she's growing up before my very eyes too, she's actually lost a little bit of her sass, and is being replaced by a more soft-hearted little girl who is set in her ways. She loves school, her days off with me, and her new found love is swimming. She has excelled from a Pike to an Eel in 3 weeks time, her teacher said it's as if a light switched and she got the confidence to go under water. Now she's a diving stick fool, and just loves being in the water. I've gotten the joy of helping in her school class a few times now, and it is so much fun to see her among her peers, and to see what a wonderful teacher she has.

Alex: he is doing really well with school. The first quarter ended and he did excellent, all S and S+'s, and his teacher said he is a very particular/hard working little boy. Somehow this doesn't surprise me at all. The transition to a new school was pretty seamless, and everyday I am so happy that we made the change. His attitude is a little less than desired these days, but it's just another growing pain. I went in the toy room to clean one day and he had written on the window with a marker: Dear Mom and Dad, I love you even wen you yel at me. Love, Alex. He's anxious for the snow to fly so he can sled, and play outside. The limbo between warm fall and snowfall is so hard, it makes the kids a little less ambitious to go and play outside if there's no white stuff to play in!

I'm really not enjoying school right now, or specifically the stats class I'm in-the teacher is really disorganized and it's a subject which I have absolutely zero interest in. You know it's bad when you look forward to your finance class just because it's the better alternative. I just keep reminding myself that after January I'll be on a downward slope to graduation in July.

I've gotten a really early start on Christmas shopping, all that's left is getting a tree and some decorating. So I'm feeling really confident in myself these days, lol. However, I don't think I'm doing Christmas cards this year, I just haven't had the organization to get some pictures of the kids. There is always next year!

Here's wishing everyone a blessed holiday season!

My own milestone

2011-10-30T20:07:00.004-05:00

I had a milestone in my own life this past week, getting to spend an entire week with my own mother sans children, enjoying the beautiful Mexican sun, sand, and Pacific Ocean. It seems I've been spending the past 6 years of my life tending to my children, making career decisions, and continuing my education; and what interaction I have with my mom usually entails a quick convo as I run from here to there, dramatic decisions affecting our family or my own, or the usual interruptions that 2, 4, and 6 year old can tend to cause. Mom is my child taxi driver, my last minute babysitter, my psychiatrist, the only ear I will probably truly lend myself to besides my husband, she is a quiet voice of reason and the calm in my most hectic days. She has supported me as an individual, as a wife, and as a mother in more ways than I can tell; some might say that's what a mom is supposed to do, but there's not a moment I take for granted all she has, does, and will do for me in my lifetime. This picture will forever be embedded in my brain, and will make me smile thinking of the memories this past week has given me.

I also got to spend the week with two other ladies who have been more of a support system to me in the past few years than I could have ever imagined they would be. Had you asked me 10 years ago who my closest confidants would be, my in-laws probably wouldn't have been at the top of my list. Not because there were any ill feelings, but it takes life experiences to realize how instrumental those around you really are. Without my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, these past few years would not have been possible: schedule changes between work and school, sick parents, sick kids, just a plain old vacation, etc. These ladies are the most accommodating and compatible people you will ever meet, more so than I will probably ever be-and for that I am blessed, and so are my children to have these people in their lives.

I have learned to take more things with a grain of salt, that it's ok to relax and have my own fun every once in a while, and life isn't worth getting so worked up over every. . . . little. . . . thing. They have recognized our accomplishments with small unexpected sentiments, and have supported us when life has changed course for us.

I just wanted to take a moment and thank every single one of these ladies for the opportunity of this past week of rest and relaxation, I truly am grateful to have each of you in my life.

Define: Transformation

2011-09-11T17:09:00.004-05:00

One of the things on our "summer wish list" was to find a monarch catepillar. . . we searched high, we searched low, no milkweed patch was untouched in the yard or in the vicinity. Low and behold, a few weeks ago Alex and I went for a bike ride on one of our country back roads and a catepillar caught Alex's eye. I was astonished when it was a monarch. So we took the catepillar home, placed it in a large jar with some sticks, and lots of fresh milkweed. It gorged itself for a few days, and overnight it had spun itself a chrysalis. We counted the days until it was to emerge, and sadly we were up north over Labor Day weekend (when I suspected it would probably come out), there was no way I was going to risk that chrysalis falling in transport-just to take it along; so we rushed through the door and sure enough the catepillar had emerged into a beautiful butterfly. We transferred it to a netted habitat so it could fill its wings, and practice flying a little more for a night. And just as quickly as we found that ugly catepillar, we released that beautiful butterfly into nature. It truly was a testament to the saying that the most beautiful things cannot be seen or heard, but they need to be felt with the heart. The kids and I loved watching the entire transformation process.

Our lives have been in transition from summer life into the school routine. Alex began his 1st grade year off in a new school this year, so with that these first few weeks have been a time of change, new routine, new rules, and that daunting task of fitting in. After a few weeks of the routine I'm so relieved with our decision to send the kids to private school, and have been embracing all of the changes it has brought to our life-even the not so pleasant one's, such as my only "sleeper" turning into an early riser (even on the weekends!). Alex loves his new school, his teacher, and is making new friends on a daily basis-although he usually can't remember their names yet. I love the culture of his new school, and it's already reflecting in how Alex feels about school in the small amount of time that he's been there. Here's my big 1st grader, on the first day of school:

Laura is also adjusting, she goes to 4k three days a week. She enjoys resting up those two days she doesn't have school, and we keep ourselves busy running errands, going to the Y, or just hanging out at home. It's interesting to see Laura's personality from the home aspect, to school-at home she's kind of the loud boss of the house, but at school she's very reserved and behaves very well-she really exhibits how independent she is. While I see her playing well with others, she also has no problems just going off and doing something on her own which makes me very proud-especially considering she's a girl. Here she is on her 1st day of 4k, and yes she picked her own socks out:

And Ainslee, my little stinker. Her bed crawling and diaper taking-off antics haven't stopped, but she has seemed to ease up on her endurance. As in, now we only have to put her back to bed 1-3 times vs. 10. . . or just let her sleep in the closet;). This girl's vocabulary expands daily, she's went from being our quiet observer, to throwing her two cents in as well. Now I guess I really need to buckle down on that potty training thing. Here's sassy pants at her birthday party:

School starts up for me this week, and I have thoroughly enjoyed the last few weeks off. It couldn't have come at a better time, I'm not sure how I would have juggled the start of the kids school year w/ just that one more "thing" in the mix. The next 4 months are going to be intense from the schooling standpoint-some higher level and math courses. . . But after Christmas I think the remainder of my schooling will be at an even pace. Ahhhhh.

Define: Terrible Twos

2011-09-01T13:33:00.004-05:00

Ainslee recently celebrated her 2nd birthday, complete with family, friends, and cake. And it's as if in a light switch, my laid back little sweetheart has turn into quite the little. . . . shit.

Alex and Laura started school yesterday, so in an attempt to get them rested up for the busy couple of days ahead of them they all laid down for naps at the start of the week. That is, everyone except for Ainslee. Since Monday she's been practicing to climb out of her crib in record time because from my estimate I'm guessing it takes her less than a minute. So I thought to myself, no big deal-just put the baby gate up and consistently put her back into bed, right?

Well for the fun of it, Ains decided to start taking her diaper off in conjunction with climbing out of her crib. Complete with unplugging her white noise machine and setting her music box over, and over, and over. And then when I put everything that was within reach on the floor up-she took all of her clothes out of her dresser, every last item. . . . Today I not only got handed a diaper, but a diaper with a turd in it. And that baby gate, scaled quicker than her crib!

We're getting closer to not just one crossroad, but two: almost time for a big girl bed, and hard core potty training. Alex is a champion sleeper, and Laura pretty much potty trained herself-but I think I'm going to have to work on this one!

So you can imagine how no naps+later bedtimes+earlier wake time=lots of screaming, crying, and hitting. Uh, you don't want to be around our house come 6 p.m. Apparently she didn't get the memo that between the other kids starting school, her schedule getting wonked as a result, my school, oh and mom banning diet soda from her at home diet-now isn't the time to create a new personality;).

At her 2 year well check she measured in at 32" tall, and 21 lbs. A very healthy, happy, and sassy little girl.

A Summer of Growth

2011-08-17T08:29:00.003-05:00

Hard to believe that summer is coming to a close, and school is right around the corner. The summer itself was pretty productive, I went into it with a list in my head of things I wanted to do with the kids: Bay Beach, Fond du Lac Pool, Movie, Few weekends up north, Holiday Acres, Paul Bunyan, Wildlife Zoo, Mini Golf, Milwaukee Public Museum, and the Milwaukee Zoo.

I'm happy to report all but the Milwaukee Zoo was visited, and I still have hope to make it there in the next two weeks.

The last month I've been able to take in more time with the kids, and less of my schooling. Taking 1 laid back class vs. 2 super intense was like night and day. I think I needed this time to re-charge and psych myself up for the upcoming school year. I will go hard at it for two full semesters, and then I will be able to scale back to 1 class next summer and wrap up my degree before the start of next school year.

The kids are starting to gear up for school, Alex (ahem, and I am) is ready for school to start-the wheels of sibling rivalry have reared their ugly head the last couple weeks so it's a sign that a much needed break from each other is welcomed. Laura is excited, she's officially starting 4k and Alex a big 1st grader! I'll probably be missing the noise in the house come next month, but I'll get Ains all to myself for 3 days a week which is a pretty foreign concept around here!

The kids are starting at a new school this Fall, so while we are excited-I think we're all (except Laura) a little apprehensive about what this new change will bring to our lives. Please be thinking positive thoughts for us in the upcoming month!

Define: Aversion

2011-08-05T09:42:00.003-05:00

One of Wiki's definitions of aversion is as follows: opposition or repugnance of mind, fixed dislike. With that I can proudly announce that Alex has reached the milestone of losing his first tooth. This is a milestone that I knew I would have a hard time celebrating with him, its safe to say that I have an aversion to teeth, loose teeth, conversation regarding teeth, looking and feeling teeth. Let's just say it's probably a by-product of PTS from my own childhood tooth experiences.

I can thank my orthodontist for the miracles of beautiful teeth because without him, I'm not sure where I'd be today, lol. I've had numerous teeth pulled, and braces placed strategically to make my teeth form somewhat of a straight line, turn teeth 180 degrees, and to this day I still struggle with the small gap in my front teeth. Instead of showing everyone my diploma at my high school graduation party, my mom pulled out my before and after orthodontist pictures; if that tells you anything about how bad my teeth were.

There was one particular incident of having one of my teeth (not my wisdom teeth) pulled where the sheer sound of the tooth coming out just about sent me through the roof. I sort of made a faint expression at the sound and my dentist pointedly told me that "You don't need to make that noise, you can't feel anything". It's safe to say that my aversion to teeth started from that day forward.

I try to hold it together for Alex, but I told him point blank this was something his dad was going to have to help him with. You know my aversion to vomit has lessened since Jason started working nights and I'm the only one that has to deal with those moments; so there's hope that by the time Ainslee starts losing teeth I'll be pulling them out for her. . . Ok, probably not, but hopefully I won't gag when she shows me the "window" as Alex refers to the blank spot left in his mouth.

Alex was so excited when he woke up and the tooth fairy had come and miraculously given him exactly what he felt was a decent amount. As we talked about it the next day in the car, it was no surprise when Laura said "Alex, what was the tooth fairy wearing?" Alex's response: "I don't know! If I was awake she would have never came." Leave it to Laura to wonder what kind of fashion sense the tooth fairy has, never mind the purpose of her visit. Hopefully as time goes on they will perserve the magic of this milestone for their little sister!

Define: Flexible

2011-07-17T21:40:00.003-05:00

I'll warn you, this post is not going to be the usual upbeat, or update on the good things in our life. Rather somewhat of a venting process, an outing of the bad and the ugly in my own personal way. Some of you are not going to like what I have to say, so either respect that this is my blog or stop reading.

Define: flexible. Working 1st shift one day, then third the following day with little to no notice. Working most weekends, typically with a days notice. How about spending on average 2 hours a day with your kids because you're busy working 12, sleeping 9, and showering/eating the other 1. Or having short patience those 3 hours you do get with them because you are so damn tired you can barely function. Or how about your wife relying on you to have those 3 hours of patience because she's been responsible for the kids the other 20 hours for the last 8 days plus. A wife, with the help of her sister-in-law and mother takes all 3 kids up north for what was supposed to be our only week long family vacation of the summer ended up being for 4 days without "the whole family"-granted we were only planning on Jason being up there with us on the weekends, it ended up being not . . . at . . . . all. Not even saying happy birthday to somebody in your life because you're both so pissed about the entire work situation surrounding you to even look at each other, planning a 4 year olds birthday party solo, and best yet having to drop a course because you can't find enough energy or time in the day to get the work done.

That's just a taste of my life right now-sound fun? So where's this 'flexible' thing come in you ask? Jason's busted his ass for the last year with our full support, and by full support I mean me, the kids, my family and his family bending over backwards to make his work, my school, and the kids life in general just work. I gave up last night, I decided that the stress of two classes right now while Jason's work/life balance isn't so hot just isn't worth 1) the stress 2) the strain on my patience of what little summer I have left with the kids 3) what little time or energy I have and 4) I really don't think it's necessary to have to call on people on a regular basis to watch your kids while you've committed to coaching t-ball or have class, or just to get homework done before midnight every night. I greatly appreciate the help of others, but really-those things are commitments I've made, and I really don't think there should be any reason my other half can't be responsible for what little time that takes up in a week. I mean, what would happen if I actually had a job outside the home?

So now you're probably all thinking, man she's a bitch-and poor Jason. But this post isn't about ill feelings towards Jason. . . . It's about my ill-feelings of him being called on the carpet and told that he isn't 'flexible' enough. I'm sure to some you're thinking I'm naive, spouting my mouth, ungrateful, or the thought 'just wait' has entered your mind. . . . but really none of that matters to what our quality of life is right now. Transitional times are what they are, but realize that behind every employee isn't a wife without a backbone or no kids-instead there is a wife who is a fulltime student, woman with other obligations, and a caregiver to 3 young children, children who value good time with their dad. Not low patience and tired time with dad.

The nature of Jason's work environment is a continual strive to prove himself: he's a perfectionist, he's straight forward, he's a hard worker, and is probably going to be one of the most dedicated employees you will ever have. Appreciate him.

I'm not stupid, growing up in a house where my dad was the bread winner, he worked long, varied hours/shifts while my mom stayed home most of the time. I realize there are going to be bumps in this road.

Appreciating him would be the silver lining in knowing this is all worth it, in the meantime I'm trying to keep 'livin the dream' as Gary Rodman would say.

Double-Edged Sword

2011-06-28T23:02:00.003-05:00

Well, here we are getting ready to sit on the big girl potty and while that milestone is always monumental in terms of independence for the child and independence for the parents to have to lug a diaper bag around-I'm starting to think diapers aren't such a bad thing.

It's one of those subsequent child "things", no sooner was Alex two and we were already pushing him into pt'ing. And typical Laura, proved to the world she was ready to rid herself of diapers right around 2 with next to zero intervention from us. But Ainslee's my baby, my last baby. . . . so diapers really aren't that bad.

Kind of like how sleeping in a crib til you're 4 isn't so bad, right? Well, maybe not that old but I do have full intentions of easing from the crib to a big girl bed a little slower than the others because this is the first time in our parenting lives that we haven't had to be in a hurry for that next step.

Laura's 4th birthday is quickly approaching, and I cannot find where the last two years-let alone 4-of my life have went other than in the beautiful growing faces of my kids. I remember thinking to myself that wow, some day my kids will be 2, 4, and 6. . . . and here I am. Life, slow down!

In other news, I just wrapped up two classes which to date since working towards my bachelors were the most time consuming classes I have ever taken. A 3 and 400 level course, which both included a lot of reading, questions, case studies, and large final projects. I am very grateful to have a wonderful support group surrounding me while I work towards my degree. The last 7 weeks included calling upon my mom and mother-in-law endless times to step in and help out, with little notice because I had to run here or there for the kids, had class and Jason was working, or I just needed a few hours to dedicate to some homework. And I called upon my niece to relieve me for a few hours here and there just so I could run and get groceries, take a shower, do laundry or put in a few hours of homework, since I didn't have a whole lot of extra time to get normal things done around the house. And my sister-in-law, who offered to join us up north as an extra set of hands and eyes so the kids could still enjoy themselves, while taking countless trips into town to submit online homework, etc. Jason too has been working long hours, often varying shifts from one day to the next-so to say it's been difficult is an understatement, we could have never done it without these people in our lives. I really struggled with the "juggle" of school and home life this go around, something I really pride myself on-the ability to multitask. Maybe I'm losing my touch? So I have the week off, and then back to it next week, hoping this next set of classes is a little bit lighter load.

Oil and Water

2011-06-15T07:56:00.003-05:00

Ah, summer is upon us, and the fact that we made it through that first week is kind of a miracle. Sibling rivalry is an aspect of parenting/childhood that I completely do not get, nor have I come up with a fool proof way to deal with it. Seeing as though my next sister is 8 years older than me, I didn't have to deal w/ sharing resources, time, or attention-and if I did, I just dealt with it, and didn't complain.

Alex and Laura suffer from this: Laura is deceitful, ignores Alex, is the typical mean girl to Alex from the mental aspect, and she always pulls out the "Alex, you're a jerk". A lot of this is Laura's personality, I think it's what separates girls from boys, they deal with conflict in a whole different way. Maybe what I'm trying to say is that girls learn to be bitches as a young age, we just don't know it;).

And Alex isn't much better, he's the naive kid that typically leaves just enough rope to hang himself. He gets caught doing and saying things to her on a regular basis, and he is the king of aggravation. I don't even need to look at him, to know what he's doing to her. I think I said "it's going to be a very long summer for you two, if you don't learn to get along" about a million times last week.

You know it's an accomplishment when for the few minutes they can manage to get along, they make a point to say-"mom, we're playing with each other". On Monday they both got sent off to summer school, which was a milestone day for Laura: first day on the bus. She was so excited, and I had to break the news to Alex that he had to be nice, possibly sit with her the first day in case she was scared, hold her hand if she needed it, and help her find her teacher/classroom. He obliged, I knew he would; as much as he doesn't like her, I know he loves her.

That first day watching them get off the bus and run to the house was priceless, Laura's smile couldn't have been bigger. Alex then broke the news to me that 1) "Sissy didn't want me to sit with her, 2) she went to her classroom herself, 3) she wouldn't hold my hand and 4) she wanted a hug, and you didn't say anything about hugging. Oh and she sat in the back of the bus on the way home, and whenever Mr. Belling would look she'd duck. Ah, Laura, makes me laugh just thinking about her, her independence and her defiance. . . .

So when somebody finds that magic answer to sibling rivalry, let me know. In the meantime, I know I can rely on Alex to conform when I'm not around or I can bet on Laura doing whatever she needs to let her big brother know she doesn't need him. . . . except for that hug.

Update

2011-05-19T09:55:00.006-05:00

So it's been a while. . . Easter came and went, which we spent out in Colorado visiting my sister and her family. Trips to Colorado are always successful for us, her kids are closest in age to mine, so the kids just enjoy getting together and being able to play. It was Ainslee's first airplane ride, and we all survived it-except for maybe the guy in front of her on the way back;).

While we were out in Colorado, Alex celebrated his 6th birthday. . . where does the time go? Instead of the birthday movies I have done for him in the past, this year I made him a photobook which he has really enjoyed-he looks at it often, has taken it to school, shows it off frequently. He's graduating from Kindergarten next week, and he says he doesn't want to go to 1st grade-he wants to be in K forever. . . lol. He's going to do summer school in hopes of staying on top of the reading and math skills he worked so hard on during the school year, and we're going to spend as much time up north this summer as we can so he's very stoked for that.

Mother's Day
I don't think you can truly appreciate Mother's Day until you become a mother yourself, I think it ranks higher than my birthday because really words can't describe your life any better than being surrounded by those that love you, and a week full of receiving small sentiments to hold onto for a lifetime reminding you of how precious life once was, you know-when I'm old, and gray. Wait, I'm already gray, so when I'm old.

Our 9th Anniversary
Again, it's one of those things where you wonder where the time has gone. Jason and I have been with each other for 14 years; hard to believe it's almost half of my life! We've been through 3 houses, two dogs, 3 kids, and all the other "stuff" that goes along w/ life. You know you've come a long way when going for supper in our gas saving Mercury Mystique, and then to get groceries for our anniversary was a perfect way to celebrate for both of us. Hell, just eating a meal in peace and quiet, at a normal pace is celebration enough for us;).

Laura
Laura will also be graduating from her 3k class this week which is very exciting for her, and she too will be going to summer school. Her and Alex are like oil and water, so I'm not sure how that bus ride is going to go, but hopefully they can work the kinks out w/ minimal intervention. Laura cannot get to school soon enough, she thrives on having "something" to do and she really rises to the challenge of things academic, yet she embraces her individuality. Right now her individuality includes two different socks on most days, a rainbow belt I just scored at a rummage sale, leotard or dance outfit, a ball cap, some lip gloss or makeup if I allow it, and a piece of gum. She's an amazing little girl that I love to pieces despite our differences, and I can't wait to see where her personality will take her.

Ainslee
She's growing like a weed, and she's emerging her own individuality-but her personality is a little "quieter" than Laura's. She's talking more and more every day, she's strong-willed, yet shy and quiet in her demeanor. I'm looking forward to the 4 hours of peace and quiet we will have together when Laura and Alex are in summer school. Oh, and the third time is a charm-fingers crossed, knock on wood, whatever else I can do-God finally blessed me w/ a sleeper. This girl usually doesn't get up before 8:30 most mornings. . . Thanks Ainslee;)

I'm been really busy w/ school, I think I blogged I'd never put myself through another super accelerated course again. . . but there I was a few weeks back. I like instant gratification. . . . I did manage to figure out that I will be graduating next May (provided all goes as planned) which is over a half year sooner than I anticipated-so I'm excited to know that I have about a year left.

Hopefully I'll be a little more current on here, but coming into summer-I can't make any promises.

Little Piece of Heaven

2011-04-18T12:46:00.004-05:00

Last month Jason and I took our first vacation sans kids since. . . . our honeymoon almost 9 years ago. Destination: Ixtapa, Mexico. Given the trip was without our kids, the last thing we wanted to do was be on the go, with a long list of to-do's while we were there. Basically we went to enjoy the warm temps, sunshine, and an occasional cocktail down by the pool. Meals were eaten at a normal pace without interruption, and I was able to wake in the morning on my own terms. Really, that was the highlight of my part of the vacation! Kids either make you 1) lame, or 2) easily amused; I'm perfectly ok with both labels.

All of this is in gratitude to my sister-in-law who braved staying with all 3 of the kids for the entire week we were gone. She graciously moved into our house for the week, and life went on fairly normal. The kids had fun, and hopefully we didn't scare her away for good after that stint!

A big thank you to all those who made this trip a reality for us, we had a wonderful time!

Wait there's more. . .

2011-03-21T22:39:00.003-05:00

Tonight I went to an informational meeting on the current referendum looking to be passed in our school district, so my mom came over to watch the kids after Jason left for work.

I'm happy to report no f bombs were dropped; however, when mom finished reading her books before bed, Laura said "tell my mom you only read me one book". My mom got a concerned look on her face (and tried pulling the Jesus line again), "But that's not true Laura, I read two. I don't think Jesus would like it if I fibbed."

Laura's response: "I'll talk to him."

Ok, two.

2011-03-17T22:19:00.003-05:00

Remember how I told you a few weeks back that I only had one vice? That is until my 3 year old reminded me yesterday of that lingering 2nd one-the one that is so second nature to me, I rarely know that I'm doing it. Can anyone take a guess?

I have a tendency to let out a swear word, here and there. And if I get mad, I tend to let out a lot of swear words. I blame my dad for this trait, on a bad day he can orchestrate the smoothest sounding delivery of about 50 swear words within 1 minute. Typically done outside, and most neighbors (let me remind you that we live in a rural area, and the term neighbors is used lightly here) can vaguely hear what's coming out of his mouth as something he's working on either breaks, tips over, and he proceeds to throw something inadvertently. I also have to add though that he can do the same orchestration in a positive light whenever he's telling a story about fishing, hunting, or just something crazy that happened while he worked for the railroad. I'm guessing if everyone knew my dad, they'd probably understand my 'language barrier'.

I'm not that bad, but according to my old co-workers at McNeilus, "you swear like a sailor". Apparently it's acceptable when guys do it, but not for women? So they set up the "Teri Sweary" jar, I was then given a list of "the forbidden" words, and every time I used one-I had to drop a quarter in the jar. It was a good incentive, I think I might have to implement it at home.

Laura is my wild child, and typically when somebody other than I am watching her she will push the boundaries, and see if she can get a rise out of her caregiver. On this particular day it was my mom (who by the way, does not swear on a regular basis). The last time mom watched her she was saying "what the hell is this", or something to that effect w/ the emphasis on "hell". Mom told her Jesus didn't like it when she used words like that, her response "my mom says it". Yeah, I do, it's kind of my slang term I use often. Like what the hell, why doesn't this work; or what the hell, why can't I find this. I have to precursor this next paragraph and remind you that I save the big terms for when I'm really mad.

Well Laura pulled out the big guns yesterday, my only saving grace is that she cannot pronounce her f's. Frequent terms she uses: priend (friend), pour (four), pive, you get the idea. Mom wasn't quite certain what she was saying, but Laura repeated it until she got some recognition which was quite a few times cause mom was hell bent on ignoring this one. . . "why didn't my dad shut the pucken door to my office?"

So not only did she out me with the "f" bomb, but she also outted me in a way that makes it seem like I was talking about Jason in a negative light. Seriously I don't do this often, but it gives new meaning to "out of babes mouths". We all got a laugh out of it, yes even Jason. Guess I need to start working on this vice a little harder, probably even harder than the Diet Dew.

My Little Peanut

2011-03-10T15:54:00.003-06:00

Ainslee has officially hit the 18 month milestone: weighing in at 18 lbs, and 30 3/4 inches tall. The pediatrician was concerned that for the second well check in row, her marks were starting to fall off the growth chart. So she referred us to a growth specialist down in Madison, I was a little surprised but agreed to go for peace of mind.

I'm happy to report the specialist was not concerned at all. Her growth charts follow the same pattern as our other kids: Alex was a porkchop til he walked and then thinned out and is just finally catching up to everyone else in his class this year. Laura too was stuck in 18 month clothes for roughly 2 years (sadly for me, I have no hand me downs for Ains-guess that means I need to go shopping which breaks my heart) and she too is just starting to get taller this year and is still petite. Ains is really no different other than she never really had chunky thighs, arms, or chunky anything to fall back on, lol. But she's thriving, very well I might add in the developmental department, the doctor witnessed that first hand when she grabbed something that looked like a phone and put it up to her ear and said 'ello'? I'm sure he thought another typical girl in the making!

She grows so much every day in personality and vocabulary. Having Laura as her example has given her a headstart on the personality department, I'm going to sound mean in saying this-but I'm looking forward to the break Ainslee will get from Laura next year while she's in school, maybe it will 'settle the sass' down a little bit, if you know what I mean.

So I'm thankful for over cautious doctors, but more thankful for my own insight-guess I have learned a little something along the way on this parenting journey!

It's My Only Vice

2011-02-23T22:42:00.004-06:00

Most people who know me are probably not surprised that the movie Kingpin is one of my all time favs. "You see bowling for money, that's my only vice. Here's your drink sugar, ok two." is the frame depicted in this photo from the movie.

I used to have two vices: 1) chewing my fingernails and 2) drinking diet soda. Somewhere along the lines after I had Laura, I kind of "outgrew" my nail chewing. I think it was purely cause I was so damn busy with two kids that I couldn't even find the time to shower let alone chew on my damn nails! Or maybe my life got less stressful? Yeah, probably not.

Well, I think the day has come that I'm going to tackle that second vice. My diet dew or fountain diet coke is like that first morning smoke for some. I don't drink a 12 pack a day or anything, actually it's more like I open 3 cans throughout the day and drink on average about half the can. So I don't really need to ingest the soda, it's just the mere action of going to the fridge, pulling one out, and opening it just to catch a swig while I'm eating something.

This will be hard for me, I'm guessing I'll have awful withdrawal headaches. . . And I'm not a milk or juice drinker, so water it will have to be. I won't completely take it out of my diet, I'm hoping I can just be a 'social' soda drinker, you know like that person who only smokes when they're drinking. Jason doesn't think I can do it, when I told him I was thinking about doing it he said "no way, you said it would always be your one vice."

I want to prove him wrong but I also just want to do it for myself, hell if I can stop chewing my nails I should be able to do this. I'm going to make Friday the 'magic day', wish me luck!

Spring, is that you?

2011-02-15T12:54:00.003-06:00

Just last week we were stuck in a deep freeze, temps in the single digits, windchill in the negatives. February tends to be the month that our patience of winter starts to wear thin, and we welcome the warm reminder of Spring. Sledding, building snow forts, getting pulled behind the 4 wheeler or snowmobile, and helping shovel are a few of the things the kids enjoy, but even they are getting cabin fever and sick of having to take an extra 20 minutes in the day to get dressed and undressed.

The last few days have been our "reminder" that there is more to Wisconsin than winter, temps in the high 30's with beautiful sunshine. The snow is melting away, leaving patches of grass visible, and even mud in some spots. On Sunday the kids played outside for over 3 hours, by themselves! It even shocked me that I didn't get the usual tattling, but they were so busy playing on the snowpile, to shoveling snow/mud by the barn, to then washing their "tools" off with runoff from the gutters by the end of the 3 hours they didn't have time to argue!

Laura came in and promptly passed out, meanwhile Jason and Alex put together what is probably the first and last snowman of the year. By the time Laura woke up from her nap it was dark out, so I told Alex he'd have to show her in the morning. Come Monday morning they both ran to the window, anticipating some shrieks of excitement-I was quickly amused to hear Alex say in a puzzled voice, "his head fell off!". Sure enough, the warm temps overnight had made his head literally fall off and all that was left were the remnants of the face laying next to the body. Alex was a little distraught at first, but we all ended up getting a good laugh out of it.

Spring, I sure hope it's you-we're all ready to nix the cabin fever, open some windows, and enjoy the outdoors again!

"Some day when I'm a mom, I'm gonna be the boss of this place!"

2011-02-01T13:10:00.004-06:00

Everybody always refers to the terrible twos, and I have yet to have a problem with two; it's always three that gets me. Lately Laura and I have been fire and ice together thanks to the lovely personality I like to refer to as "three". There are a few specific areas we're struggling in: listening and volume. Due to the first one, the time out chair is frequently visited in our house these days, and even some days I threaten to spank-when she's really pushing my buttons. Alex was a naive three, Laura is clever and anything but naive. For example she will blatently do something she knows she's not supposed to do, and when I look at her and tell her not to, she pushes the envelope just a little farther-while I'm looking. And often times she has a smartass response to what I say (I don't know where she gets this from), perfect example would be: "Laura, will you pick your toys up please?" "No, you do it mom" said in a somewhat quiet voice, "What did you just say?"-"I said I like you mom". Unfortunately, she learned this dialogue from me and Jason, I will typically say something smartass to Jason, to which he'll ask what I said-my response, "I said I like you". Yeah, I should have known that one would haunt me. Volume, this is one I struggle with, until I had kids-I was a fairly quiet person in nature. Laura's loud volume makes my skin crawl, kind of like when you are all the way across the grocery store grabbing something you forgot while the kids stay with Jason and you hear this loud annoying sound, that's usually Laura's voice carrying all the way to the other side of the store, and we all know that if I can hear it-it's loud.

Normal three year old aside, Laura is doing great, she's learning to write her name and even shows an interest in flash cards and reading already. I'll use her to my advantage in motivating Alex;). She loves makeup, nail polish, dancing, and playing dressup with her leotards. In a world where mean kids are the norm, and it makes me cringe to send my babies off to school; I have complete confidence in Laura to hold her own.

Onto Miss Ainslee, hard to believe she will be 18 months the end of this month. You know I'm in denial when she goes into the closet and pulls out the potty training seat, and I insist on putting it back! All bottles are gone, pacifiers, everything baby-like. She's been replaced by a little toddler whose temper has emerged in the past few months, she's starting to get past the 'throw myself on the ground and roll around a little' phase, and onto dealing with her feelings though. She'll throw a cheap shot at Laura here or there, but it's usually quickly replaced by a kiss or a hug. She's an entertainer: she makes goofy faces, likes to laugh at her brother, play dress up and dolls with her sister, and she's just trying to keep up w/ the Jones-growing way too fast. I mentioned her love of water, she also enjoys going to open gym at the gymnastics center for the YMCA in FDL on Friday mornings. The girls can run, jump, and climb on all sorts of stuff and she loves every minute we're there.

She's still a petite little girl, but very much keeps up with the big kids. Most days when Alex and Laura head outside she's right behind them grabbing her boots out of the closet. She recently had an ear recheck-tubes look good and are still secure, lets hope those baby's last us through this winter. I'm not sure if it's because she's grown a bit and her ear anatomy has changed, or if it's the fact she's no longer in daycare, but she just had her very first cold of the winter. I'm enjoying a healthy year for her, and continue to enjoy watching her personality. You know, cause she's the only one who can't talk back anymore;).

Last but certainly not least, Alex recently caught this big walleye with his dad, and Grandpa Wuest while we were up north over New Years. He's as proud as can be, and keeps asking when his mount is going to be back so he can take it for show and tell. He might have to settle for just taking a photograph. But he's also gotten a little egotistical about it too, he's turned down fishing on Lake abago (Winnebago) with Papa cause he can't guarantee that they'll catch big ones. I'm sure my dad laughs inside, hopefully he realizes it's not about what you catch-but spending time with family that's more important-I know he will.

He just got his first report card back, and we're very proud of him. He's doing well in most areas, he just hasn't shown much interest in reading or writing-which I'm guessing for a boy in Kindegarten that's probably pretty normal. Jason and I try to help in his class on a weekly basis, and all the girls in his class are all gung-ho on reading, reading to themselves, reading to others-aloud. Why would he have a need to read, they do it for him! It's fun to see the dynamics of his class, and just to see him among his peers.

Also our 'good' Alex returned. The behavior issues we had prior to Christmas have since passed, thanks to my nephew Jimmy, who now taxis Alex to school in the morning. I'm all for public transportation, but Alex was on the bus for over an hour in the mornings. . . a few K boys+lots of time on their hands+a bus driver who hears very little=a very strung little boy when he arrived to school. He still rides it at night, so I haven't lost all faith in the school systems transportation.

Very proud of all my kids!

Define: Intense

2011-01-24T14:11:00.005-06:00

Due to poor planning on my part, I decided to take a winterim course which ran from January 4-14th, Monday thru Friday 8:30-12:30. I'm one of those people who think the stress and mild strain on the schedule of a 10 day class is worth the 3 credits rather than have to sit through an 8+ week class. The poor planning portion of that is that I didn't realize my 'regular' MAAP courses started that week as well, so I was enrolled in 3 classes at once; I was under the impression that winterim's were stand alone. . . apparently I was wrong.

Define intense: Theology 100 "The Foundation of a Christian Experience", in a winterim format by Michael Ketterhagen. In the past I've had winterims so I was thinking, no big deal-the profs are usually pretty sympathetic to the fact that people have lives outside of school thus not much homework, heavy reading, etc. Wrong again. . . On average I read 3 chapters a night, daily terminology quizzes, had to write 1 page summaries to questions like define theology?, how is God human and God?, what is the holy spirit?, define salvation. You know cause it's really easy to sum those answers up in one page (insert sarcasm here). Dr. Ketterhagen was challenging, I re-wrote 4 of my papers in an effort to ensure a good grade in the class; and papers are typically my strong suit. There were two larger papers due as well. Lastly, he required us to complete a service learning experience, I chose participating in loaves and fishes, which is a program where groups prepare a meal at a local church, and serve to those in need. I took Alex along to the service learning, it was a really great experience for both of us. However challenging Dr. Ketterhagen was, he was a great teacher which made the intensity and stress well worth it in the end.

So for two weeks of my life I felt completely bombarded between the three classes, something I rarely feel. . . and in hindsight I really wish I would have taken the class in the traditional format so I had more time to take in all the information. I'm at a point in my life that those types of things interest me. And I felt kind of "old" in the class, most of the students were traditional and spent a large amount of their time texting-and then it fathomed me how when the daily terminology quizzes rolled around they were aceing them-and I was completely bombing them. I think it was a sign I was "thinking into things" too much. Alas, I survived it-even got an A in the class thanks to an overabundance of extra credit; and since I'm a glutton for punishment I'll probably take another course when the Maymester rolls around.

We went to the Dells last week as sort of a wind down from the stress of that class, Jason working most weekends, and to treat ourselves to a small family vacation. The kids had a blast: Alex could ride all the slides and enjoyed them thoroughly, Jason and I took turns 'playing' with him. Laura isn't a huge fan of the water, but she enjoyed floating in the river in the perfect fitting tube and wearing her goggles. . . everywhere, not just in the water. She's been walking around saying "ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE" after the movie UP. And Ainslee is a water bug, my family used to tell me I was swimming before I was walking and I think Ainslee acquired that love-and even a sense of balance and breath. She went down the little slides w/ a huge smile on her face, and walked in the pools like she owned the place. We all enjoyed ourselves, I got to sleep with my husband for 4 nights straight which seems like a modern miracle these days; and the kids managed to get along most of the time.

A Year of Contentment

2011-01-15T20:41:00.003-06:00

I had to look back at my New Years post from last year to refresh myself a bit and to help form some sort of measurement of the year in its entirety. If I had to sum the year up in one word it would be: contentment.

Noteables from the year:

Jason decided to join his family's business, and move on from his construction career. This has changed our lives in so many ways, and aside from the sleep schedule it has all been for the better. I think the stress level in both our lives dropped instantly and drastically as a result of this decision; financial stability, consistency, and benefits are a few of the obvious reasons.

Again I was graced with the ability to work with a great bunch of people, this time at McNeilus Steel in Fond du Lac. However, the cost of daycare in a part-time environment lead us to one of those decisions in life where we either have to bite the bullet and go fulltime, or stay home with the kids. Given the stability of Jason's job, and the growing needs of all the kids it was in our best interest for me to stop working and be at home.

In conjunction with staying at home, I researched my options for school and decided to go for my Bachelors in Business Administration. So far I am really enjoying being back in school, and the fact that I should only have about 2 years is also reassuring that this feat won't take forever (or as long as my associates did). School is my social outing, and my time consumer after Jason leaves for work so it's actually fit into our lives very well.

Lastly and most importantly, I have 3 happy and healthy kids who are thriving. Staying at home with the kids is very different than when I initially left the college. I find my days are fuller now than they were when I was employed-filled with appointments, places to go, errands to run. I've come into my own with cooking, baking, and a cleaning schedule. But most people that come into my house know I don't get real hung up on that last one;). I truly have the best of both worlds: I get to spend every day with my kids, and I work in a break here or there during the week with the help of family, or close friends to do the things I need and want to do, and I'm still pursuing one of my own goals in school.

It's not to say I haven't had any drama in my life this past year, there's been "the usual" and the not so usual but I've taken a different approach to the things that don't need to be so pressing in my life. My immediate family and my parents are who I find myself focusing on, I take the rest with a grain of salt. As a result I think I need to change the sticker on my truck to read "life is pretty damn good" instead of just life is good.

define: Facebook relationship status "It's Complicated"

2010-12-20T13:15:00.006-06:00

Look closely, above you'll find our Little People Nativity scene. My mom gave it to the kids a few years ago, and they enjoy bringing it out and playing with it around the Christmas season. This is not a look, don't touch nativity scene, the kids are welcome to freely interact with it. They take turns setting the scene up however they see fit, all the kids as babies would walk off with a piece here or there, but they always found their way back to the table. That is until this year, from time to time the scene will get pulled down even when the snow isn't flying-so when I couldn't find Joseph a month or so ago I just brushed it off and said it must be in one of the other toy boxes. No such luck, so I reluctantly set up the set for the first time a few weeks ago hoping the kids wouldn't notice. You know, cause "what's the big deal if Joseph isn't in the set?" I'm not overly religious, but even I know the nativity scene without Joseph isn't exactly teaching the kids a 'lesson in Christ'. I need to contact Fisher Price and see if they sell the characters ala carte, and hopefully put Joseph back where he belongs.

In the meantime, just this past week Laura was looking at the set and said "mom where's Jesus' dad?" I couldn't help but laugh to myself and tell her "it's complicated".

Russ, we checked every bulb, didn't we?

2010-12-15T22:24:00.005-06:00

Clark, ahem, I mean Jason enthusiastically hung some Christmas lights a few weeks ago for the kids enjoyment.

That sounds nice, but this is how the story really went: while Jason was out hunting in Nebraska, Teri took a trip to Menard's and bought 300 feet worth of Christmas lights, along with over 300 clips, and LOTS of extension cords. Took a picture of all of it with my cell phone, and sent Jason a text with the photo along with a small token of my heart: "paybacks a bitch".

Now before some of you go getting the idea, man she is cruel-Jason rented a lift for the weekend to hang all of these lights. And we had discussed lighting before he left, I subtly asked "about how many feet would we need worth of lights", so Jason knew it was only a matter of time. The look on the kids faces when they saw the house light up made all the banter worth it;).

A Grandmother's eulogy through my eyes

2010-12-03T07:09:00.005-06:00

The time has finally come for my Grandma to find some peace, as she found eternal rest on Tuesday, November 30th. She did so peacefully, and surrounded by family and prayer. Last night at the service, I shared some of my own thoughts and remembrances of Grandma:

In the past few weeks I’ve had some time to reflect on my grandmother’s life, my life, and how the two intertwine. For so many years I wondered why Granny sat around documenting, scrapbooking, and studying family trees. So please if you do anything tonight, take some time to look over the photos and books she left as a legacy, this was her quiet expression of who she was. As her life comes to a close here on Earth, I’m so thankful for those beautiful, heartfelt words she expressed on paper about her childhood, schooling, marriage, her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, employment, retirement, and the death of loved ones. The photos she kept, the books, logs of important dates in her life-cards gifted to her through the years that were sentimental, or gave her a good laugh.

She was an amazing woman, not just to me-but to so many people. An unwavering mother, patient grandmother, a quiet woman who kept most thoughts to herself, but reflected her feelings more in actions-such as doing a load of laundry, folding countless piles of clothes, baking or cooking for someone, always a willing babysitter to grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She truly was a woman of infinite wisdom. She always put things into perspective due to her life experiences; unfortunately perspective doesn’t make a whole lot of sense until you’re a grown adult. You know that, “I guess my parents/grandparents did know what they were talking about after all” moment. I was so fortunate to spend a large part of my childhood with both Grandma and Grandpa; some might say too much time. Granny would sit for hours coloring, playing cards, watching tv, really “playing” with me. I was blessed for every moment with her.

It doesn’t matter how old or young, sick or healthy, the pain of a loss of life this important is not to be dismissed. She knew the values of family and faith she instilled in all of us would help to bear this burden. This past weekend she left us with some brief moments of lucidity, speaking in sentences-something she hadn’t done in years. The few words she said, reassured all of us that she knew the journey that lay ahead, and she was fully prepared. Grandma gave us a gift in both life and death; on the day of her death she was granted the serenity of leaving this world peacefully, with family nearby. Teaching us that while death is difficult for those on Earth to understand, faith will get you through, and it’s just another milestone in “life” for those passing onto Heaven. In a few short moments I witnessed tears, comfort, family unity, and prayer; faith happens in people and places when you least expect it and Grandma helped us to see that in those last few moments.

Manpleaser

2010-11-10T22:15:00.002-06:00

Now before you go getting too excited, this isn’t a sexual innuendo. Every year about this time I take a dive into the single parenting lifestyle, while Jason heads out west on a hunting trip for a week. I also get to hear women around me make note that their husband, significant other, etc. are deep in the throes of the Wisconsin early whitetail archery hunting season, quickly approaching opening gun hunting weekend. Men flock to the woods to find their solace, note deer patterns, or simply just get lucky on the buck of a lifetime.

Most know my upbringing, if not-I’ll fast forward you: my father is an avid hunter, when I was growing up if he wasn’t working, he was hunting or fishing. When he wasn’t doing that, he was drinking. It was a pattern my mom knew all too well, I watched as my father did whatever the hell he wanted-whenever he wanted. I can attribute my feelings on hunting, or anything extra-curricular for that matter, to this scenario in my life. Please note, this is my opinion-ahem, this is my blog-so while you can respect it, you don’t necessarily have to agree with it.

I have to laugh when I hear women jumping through hula hoops during this time of the year. Johnny has basketball, Sarah has piano, but Dan has to go hunting, so I need to get the kids taken care of. Has being the key word here. You have to sleep for your brain to function correctly, you have to drink water and take in nourishment to survive-you don’t have to go deer hunting, or for a beer, or fill in the blank. How about, if it works in everyone’s schedule, then Dan is heading out hunting; sound a little more respectful?

But Dan works all day, and I just stay home; he deserves some time to himself. After all he is the one financially supporting the family, it’s the least we can do for him. Or, while the kids are young it’s not really a big deal if he sits around drinking after work most days of the week-as long as he’s around later in life, right? Or this is my favorite; I don’t want to be that nagging wife, I wanna be the woman all the other guys wished was their wife. I could go on and on and on with the scenarios, but you get the point.

You’ll probably be shocked to find out that Jason actually coined the term “manpleaser”, he defines it as a woman who will do anything to keep her man happy, they tend to live this fantasy life where they give the façade that everything is wonderful-when in reality, they’re lives are just as effed up as the next woman, they just haven’t apparently come to terms with it.

A few short years ago I was working fulltime, while Jason was pursuing his dream of his own construction business. It didn’t cross my mind that him allowing me to do something was “the least he could do”. I’m guessing that assumption doesn’t quite cross the gender lines that easily. And that beer so desperately needed after work in the single life was cool, but after kids-it just doesn’t make any sense for little kids to sit at home and wait/expect a parent to come home, and then be met by the “dad wasn’t home to kiss you goodnight cause he had to stay late for a beer w/ the guys”.

Kids are only young once, and the things you might think they don’t notice-they will. When they’re teenagers consumed by sports, extra-curriculars, and life in general that parents probably won’t be cool enough to be a part of-then by all means, hit that wooded path, or crack open that beer. I wondered if Jason had estrogen flowing through his veins one night when he said “I’m glad my rope is tight, because I’d feel pretty damn guilty if it weren’t.” No, he wasn’t born that way-how do you think he coined the term? Just another example of how our life experiences shape the people we become. That’s not to say Jason never gets to go hunting or drinking-ask him, he’s given his options: which typically come in the form of “pick a night”. Um, here we have two people, both going to school, one working fulltime, one five year old currently going through behavioral issues due to me starting to stay home with the two other girls, one enlightening little three year old who is constantly climbing that ladder to top her brother, and poke and prod her little sister, and a one year old finding her personality to fit into all of “this”-that doesn’t even include the weekly schedule! Because of these 51 weeks out of the year you will find me laughing at the thought that deer hunting is even remotely close to the top of our priority list.

My new FB status: so starts my week long stint of being a manpleaser.

Writing a paper is like riding a bike

2010-11-05T22:29:00.005-05:00

Ok, not really, but for me it kind of is. This probably comes as a surprise to some, but English has always been a stronger subject for me. Call me a nerd, but I've officially completed my first week of classes and I think I'm going to make it. It's been just short of a year since my last higher education course, and I've truly missed it. There's something about the challenge of writing a good paper that totally brings me to the table. Jason wonders how I can knock out a five plus page paper within an hour, with background noise and pull an A grade. Um, I'm a woman, also known as professional multitasker.

I was anxious to see how the time management factor would play out for us. Even though I'm home all day with the girls, I don't even attempt homework during this time frame unless it's reading during naptime. Jason works full time, and also attends school part-time; and he struggles with school more so than me, so when he works on it-it's the only thing he does, ahem, he's a man. I've seemed to find a happy medium between attending classes, and doing homework as well as managing life. The inner geek in me is embracing the ability to write papers again.

The older I get, the more I mirror my elders. . . .

2010-10-25T21:06:00.008-05:00

So I've been "home" with the girls a whole whopping 1 1/2 weeks, and things are going great. I feel a lot less anxious this time around w/ the whole sahm thing-before, I just felt like I wasn't ready and could fully appreciate all that is involved in being home throughout the day. In just one week, I feel as if I see my mom and grandma in myself as I become a little more domestic-these are a few of the "things" reflecting on me:

I officially have dishwater, dry as hell hands-don't get me wrong, I apply calming cream at every opportunity, but the constant wipe down of the counters, contact w/ laundry detergent, and bleach is taking its toll.

Um, my kitchen drawers and cabinets are spotless, they no longer have that "lived in" feeling of a few crumbs or some miscellaneous object floating among the silverware, or bowls. My mom even commented on it the other day when she reached into my drawer-"Pete, you must have too much time on your hands".

Those closets I've been putting off organizing for the last 3 years are finally getting tended to, day by day I move from one to another. Items are purged, organized, donated, etc.

I've been hanging clothes on the line-I've always enjoyed doing this w/ my bedding, but rarely would I take the time to hang a full load out to dry. Maybe it's my frugal, or more so cheap dad inside me trying to save a buck on energy-but whatever it is, I feel pretty ambitious in terms of laundry.

Most days I'm pretty much up and at em', not sitting in my pj's all day; but there are occasional days where my bra doesn't go on til noon or so. Yeah, you read that right-it makes me giggle, I used to stop by my grandma and the first thing she'd say was "just a minute, I haven't even put my bra on". It's not such a bad thing:).

I have this incessant need to bake, which I'm not really a baker-but I do enjoy making things that the kids can help with. And for the fun of it, today I froze 10 lbs of ground sirloin, 2.5 lbs of ground turkey, and 10 baked chicken breasts.

But lastly, I have had the opportunity to just sit in the chair and rock Ainslee, and I've been able to take my time and read a few books to Laura, draw a picture, or paint her nails, or whatever it might be. I see Alex onto the bus in the a.m. and back off after school-and all of those things are reminders of what this very house was to me when I was a child. I would frequently get off the bus at Grandma's, she was so patient and would really "play" with me, and we would just sit for hours in the old green upholstered recliner rocking. I remember those times so fondly, I hope my children will too.

My house will never be spotless whether I'm home all day or not, it will always have some level of "mess" in it. I don't know if age has made me a little more patient to the thought that "there's always tomorrow" as far as cleaning goes, and I'm happy just working on small projects daily-rather than tackle the whole house.

I'm pleasantly surprised with how well the transition is going into the sah world. I think this time around I'm a little more prepared, we've recently become members of the Y which will provide us with some "outside" entertainment and social life. The kids are all participating in classes, and I'm hoping to get back into a workout routine. We'll also be visiting the library, and Laura is attending a 3k class, one day a week. I'm really excited just to be "available" to all of this.

Classes start Nov 1st for me, I'm a little dampened by the courses-an Art201 and Eng230 course. One a liberal art I'm required to take-and the other is a pre-req to many of the other courses. My Eng credits from UW-L were over 10 years old and couldn't transfer-bummer. I think they'll be good "warm-ups" back into the school life for me.

Life is good.

In parenting, the days are long and the years are short

2010-10-14T22:24:00.003-05:00

I just read this comment on one of my Facebook friend's wall, and the words cut me like a knife. After much consideration and weighing my options, I've recently decided to stop working part-time and stay home with the kids. And I'm finally going to seriously pursue my bachelors degree fulltime. I'm sure many are thinking How's she going to manage college if they can't afford daycare, or she wants to spend time with her kids? Enter the beauty of an accelerated-evening curriculum, oh and student loans. I'll be the first to admit that 31 isn't the ideal time in one's life to pursue a degree, but then again-most things that happen in life aren't "ideal".

With the help of my associates degree, it should take me about 2 years to complete my degree-2 years, that's it. Ainslee will be 3, will be entering the public pre-k program within a year, and will make up the bulk of our daycare expenses. Alex will be 7 and Laura 5. . . . that thought is so daunting to me, almost all of my kids will be in school by then. It's daunting, but that is the very reason I decided to stop working-that and the thought of paying others to watch my children while we break even w/ daycare costs wasn't an option for us.

So if all goes as planned, just about the time Ainslee's hoping on that bus, and I'm strolling back up the driveway on the verge of a mental breakdown, I'll hopefully be landing myself a "real" job-with hopes of paying off that student loan by the time they all graduate from high school!

In all seriousness, time goes by too fast-I want to enjoy my kids while they are young. I also want to pursue my own career/education goals, so when they are all off to school I can enter the wide wide work world w/ a degree, because not many places are hiring w/ much less. Now seems like the right time for me to have the best of both worlds-godspeed to us!

Laura ism's, the good, bad, and the ugly

2010-10-03T21:22:00.002-05:00

You know how some parents dub the "terrible twos" as a very colorful time for most kids? I'm finding that 3 is giving me a little more run for my money.

To give you a little insight, last week we were over at my parent's house so the kids could ride bike on a nice blacktop driveway. Alex decided he wanted to rake up some leaves into a really big pile and tidy up the yard a bit, well Laura decided to go over and aggravate Alex by attempting to jump in the leaf pile. Words ensued, and from around the corner of the garage all I heard was "I gunna kick your ass Alex". I quickly intercepted, and promptly had her put her bike away. She showed little remorse, as a matter of fact, she grinned at me as she pushed her bike past me. Most parents would be enraged but 1) I know her saying that is a result of my own failure of censoring her from that phrase and 2) that smile lead me to believe that it was all worth it. She's weighing her options these days, some things are worth losing rewards over-and others aren't.

She frequently tells me "she's not gunna be my priend", or just the opposite when she's feeling good: "I like you mommy", I'll respond telling her I love her, and she comes back still w/ the "I like you". Laura's personality reflects much of a "middle child" persona, which means she tests the boundaries-she doesn't accept all the answers given to her, and she's very good at entertaining herself, patiently I might add. She's an attention seeker when it comes to her sister, and an aggravator when it comes to her brother. She is Laura.

This was a perfect lesson in that the terrible 2, 3, and 4's are only what you make them; I'm guessing if I watched my tongue a little more often, mine might not be so difficult!

Innocence

2010-09-14T21:58:00.003-05:00

Tonight when Alex and I were laying in his bed during our nightly routine, Alex asked me "mom, do you ever scream"? I looked at him really puzzled, what do you mean-do I yell? He then proceeded to tell me how sometimes the girls in his class go into the pirate ship, and scream so loud that it hurts his and his friend Dakota's ears. I asked why they were screaming, and Alex said in a "duh mom" tone, because we were chasing them! I just smiled thinking about how innocent his days are. . .

On that note, Alex has been doing great in school. His teacher enforces a chip discipline plan, where they are given so many chips-and if they lose all of them, they lose recess. Obviously the goal: to not lose any chips! Alex has kept his chips all but a few days. I'm so proud of how well he's transitioned, it's a lot to take in-long days, less sleep, along w/ all the environmental and social stuff that goes along w/ school. I'm also happy to report that so far we haven't had any bully issues either.

What's new w/ Laura? Laura is adjusting to the 3 year old room as well, I'm happy to report that there are no more tearful goodbye's, she's passed that torch onto Ainslee. Ah, you gotta love "phases". Laura amazes me every day w/ the things she can do on her own, she's very independent which I attribute to her being the middle child. She's thrown into having to do a lot of things for her self, or to entertain herself-and she excels at this. She knows when to ask for help (most of the time), and her big brother is pretty good at taking care of his sisters. She's lost a little of her sass, she's becoming more patient, comprehending, and her communication skills are getting better by the day-so we don't have quite as many melt downs. I still get the occassional "Pine then (also known as Fine then), I not gonna be your priend", but these moments are much shorter lived than they used to be-and she responds to discipline and rewards. . . She's turning into a big girl. A goal I'm setting for her is to learn how to zip her jacket this winter.

Ainslee, well lets say this little girl has a temper on her. She throws a fit w/ the best of them-equipped w/ a slow motion move to her knees, dives flat out on the floor and just lays there. Every once in a while she throws in a really good pouty lip. I think she's figured out that she's the youngest, the baby, and that mom tends to spoil her-cause if I raise my voice to her, she really gives me the ol' guilt trip. Ains is even more independent than Laura, she does not like others to crowd her space, she shares-yet she knows when she doesn't have to and fights for what she has. While she has a temper, she's pretty even keeled for the most part and is a pretty happy-go lucky kind of girl.

That would be this weeks update!

Define Teamwork:

2010-09-08T14:32:00.003-05:00

Um, you know how I referred to how well our family works together as a team-last night would have been the perfect example. Let me precursor this by saying that due to Alex starting school, new bugs and germs have found their way into our household. Last week already Alex had his first bout w/ the flu, which he so graciously passed along to Laura.

Define teamwork: Alex and I are sitting at the dining room table working on a puzzle, when Laura approaches us clearly looking ill and very feverish (she was on the couch w/ her dad), she props her head in my lap and proceeds to vomit. The motherly instinct in me cups my hands, and tries to contain the vomit within my hands and lap (meanwhile self-coaching myself not to gag-Jason is the vomit cleaner-upper in our family) as I'm yelling for Jason to get a bucket. Alex, the clean freak watches on in horror; meanwhile Ainslee comes walking around the corner curious to all the commotion-heading straight for the vomit. Quickly, I tell Alex to grab her (which I typically don't let him carry her around-but I was desperate!) and take her into the living room and entertain her. Shortly thereafter, Jason shows up w/ the bucket. . . It was if we had practiced that ensemble our whole lives. . . . I'm still laughing about it today.

Losing My Baby: Part II

2010-09-06T20:35:00.004-05:00

Ha ha, thought it was a fitting title for my oldest "baby" as he starts Kindergarten. He had a warm-up run w/ bussing during summer school, which I think helped make that part of the day a piece of cake. He waited for the bus driver to give him the wave, crossed the road, and on the bus he went, into the first seat-and went right to the window to wave. I watched the bus pull away, and a tear rolled down my face as I walked back up to the house. I never thought I'd feel like that-that I was "stronger" than that. But it is so hard to fathom that your first baby in on that bus, and gone for the entire day-learning, playing, and growing. Somehow it was different working fulltime, or leaving the girls in daycare for the day-but to know he's gone because he has to be, just makes that realization set in.

What is the hardest for me to grasp, is that he's out in this wide, wide world, without his strongest supporter protecting him: me. School leaves way for all these great opportunities; however, it also leads way to mean kids, bullies, older kids setting poor examples, less supervision than say the hawk who has watched over him for 5 years and can literally tell you what he's doing, w/ out even seeing him. It is impossible to convey to a 5 year old, let alone a teenager-that all the bullshit they will endure during K-12 grade really doesn't matter when they walk out those high school doors w/ their dipoloma.

Alex has already experienced first hand some issues w/ one particular mean kid, I know a lot of this behavior is typical 5-6 year old boy behaviors; but I also know that some of it is not. I know Alex is not being singled out in this instance, but he has had continuing issues w/ this little boy since last year. My heart dropped a little when I saw this little boy at orientation night and saw that he was indeed in the same class as Alex. It was at that moment I realized I couldn't protect him from everything anymore, the child in me wanted to go to the principal and tell them to give my child another class, teacher, etc. but I can't possibly put him in a bubble as soon as Kindergarten:).

Instead, I gave his teacher, as well as the daycare director a heads up to the previous issues we have had w/ this particular boy. Last year when instances would occur w/ this child, I would try to just accept that this little boy had some attention/behavior issues and try to make Alex understand this. This year I'm not as sympathetic. In the few days before school started Alex was not excited about school, finally when I asked him if anything was bothering him-he specifically mentioned that he didn't want to be in said boy's class because he's mean and naughty. Alex does realize this little boy is "different", which I hate to put a label on someone else's child; however, I don't think that Alex should have to take the brunt for this boys issues-it is only fair that every child be given the opportunity to learn w/ out outside forces contributing negatively to each respective student. I feel for this child, but Alex is my sole concern-that is the selfish part of parenthood, that need of only wanting your children to experience the best life possible.

I can't bubble him up, but I can set him up for the best school experience as possible: a chance. That is why I brought the issues to the adult's attention who are part of his academic life, I also tell Alex on a regular basis to just be Alex, and let the adults around him take care of the other kids who are having problems. If the teacher's aren't handling the issues, bring them to my attention. I'm not dumb, I know Alex has his own naughty moments, and I also know that he's a bit of a tattler (he has two younger sisters, what do you expect). Communication w/ those who are key in Alex's school experience will have to be my bubble, as I know these types of issues will only get worse w/ age.

On the lighter side of things, my tears have dried and I've had to move on w/ my reality. School has a way of putting life back into order: Laura wakes up in time to see Alex on the bus, she eats, and gets ready; Ainslee wakes, eats and gets ready; and gasp-I even have time to clean the house a bit and get dinner started! Off to daycare and work we go, after work-pick girls up, pick Alex up from afterschool, and home for the night. Crazy, yet peaceful. . . the story of our lives!

Losing My Baby!

2010-08-22T21:21:00.005-05:00

The inevitable day has come, today we celebrated Ainslee's 1st birthday. It was bittersweet because along w/ it comes the realization that my last baby, isn't going to be a baby for much longer. Jason jokes that I'm getting baby fever, and will be ordering a vasectomy reversal within months; but I assured him that I was simply nostalgic-not crazy! Ainslee crawled and walked shortly thereafter, I was in no hurry to see her do so. She recently transitioned into the one year old room at daycare which means she's no longer napping in a crib, but on a sleeping bag-on the floor. And finally, last week they inquired when I'd be weaning the bottle. It was as if someone slammed a door in my face, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind-and maybe it's because we're busy, or Ainslee is a little girl so I rely on her bottle for added nutrition, but honestly it was because I'm in denial. My defense, Laura didn't give up a bottle until she was 15 months. . . . While that doesn't do much for the daycare ladies it makes me feel better.

Last week I sent Alex out to Colorado on an impromptu trip to visit my sister and her family. Timing couldn't have been more perfect, he's starting K in a few weeks so he's reveling in the last of his summer, his sitter schedule is non-existent due to my last post, and he has been asking when we're going out there to visit. I don't anticipate time off from work anytime soon-and my mom was more than happy to take him along, so what the hell! He's enjoying himself, but I miss him so. He flies back on Wednesday with my niece, so I'll be anxious to pick him up.

With Alex's absence, Laura has been loving her added attention. Seriously, she's like a totally different kid-while I know she loves Alex, and enjoys his company, she has not asked about him once! I see more of a sisterly dynamic between her and Ainslee w/ Alex gone, where she's realizing that Ainslee too will be a playmate in a very short time, and that is nice.

Ainslee celebrated with family and friends today, complete with a smash cake which she enjoyed every last bite. While the realization she is my last baby is sad, it's kind of relieving as well-I don't think our lives could get any crazier than it is w/ regards to being pulled a millions ways between family, school, and work. Our family is perfect the way it is, some days are crazy and I wish we had more time to give each one of them or to each other as a couple, but when we all work together-everybody wins regardless. We are so blessed to be in this life together.

Parenting 101

2010-08-11T13:44:00.003-05:00

"Parents want to leap-frog over the parenting job and get right to the grandparenting," she said. "Everyone wants to have fun with their kids and everyone wants to be popular with their kids like Grandma is. But the reality is: Someone has to be the bad guy or the kid never learns." This was in an article on CNN regarding ADHD, how some parents are quick to put blame on some kind of medical issue vs. take responsibility w/ children's poor behavior.

My post is not about ADHD, but moreso the comment above-what I would give to have had this quote in my power about a week ago. Late last week we found out that Alex's childcare provider went to the local little league tournament and blasted our family name: accusing us of turning her into the state (which we didn't do), informing a 3rd party that we receive childcare assistance-and used the words "why are they on assistance anyways, she drives a Yukon w/ leather", and lastly she referred to Alex as being sneaky, so she wondered what kind of parents we were-because naturally if a 5 year old is sneaky it must be because they are treated poorly at home, right?

There were other unfortunate things mentioned, but these 3 are the most bothersome to me and we will be following up with necessary actions. But here's the kicker, she said all of these things to one of my own sisters. So you wonder, wow-that took some guts, why would she say something knowing full well it would get back to me, specifically things of that magnitude, or better yet, why did my sister wait a few days to mention anything to me (meanwhile I continue to take Alex not having any idea said daycare provider slandered us at the local community event the weekend before to multiple people).

This same sister, one who has largely been absent from our lives the past year and half due to her own medical "issues" had the guts to question Jason and I's ability to care for our children. You could say the daycare provider played her like a fiddle, she got the information she needed-and then stuck a bug in my sister's ear, questioning us as parents.

Since Alex was young, a few of my sister's have coddled him-and almost done things in spite of Jason and I's wishes, things like give him junk food before eating dinner, or tell him not to worry about cleaning up after himself, they'd secretly sneak him junk food, and cover up after him. They'd do these things right in front of us, even after we asked them specifically not to. Everyone is entitled to their own parenting style, and structure would best define ours. We are both working parents, while eating junk food doesn't seem like a big deal-give a kid some sugar before meal and bedtime so they don't eat well, and then doesn't want to go to bed then tell me how easy it is to get up at a decent time the next day and move onto the daily routine? Because of this, Jason did not want the kids by them-and I agreed.

Some might even consider us strict, but the things I was accused of-or you might say informed of made me feel as if I abuse my own children. Sadly one of my nieces or nephews made the comment that I was probably standing behind the camera w/ a bat in my hand while Alex sang Rocky Mountain High. One has stated that she doesn't want to be around me because I'm mean. These comments coming from children who were basically given everything their entire lives-never once did they have to follow a schedule, never once was a piece of candy or a trip to someplace fun turned down, never once have they had to take responsibility for anything, anyone, or their actions-their parents have always picked up the pieces or enabled them. An example would be for a senior in high school whose pulling a D in most classes, has the gall to bitch about the cell phone her broke parents just bought for her, along w/ the plan they pay for. My response, if my kids got those kind of grades they wouldn't even have a cell phone-this would be the niece who thinks I'm "mean".

I'm not one to get into a "pissing match", but I'll also mention that never once did the parents of these kids accentuate that people are different-such as, I'm quiet, reserved, don't say much-never have. Much different than a sister who has to make herself known to the room when she walks in, and nobody knows if they're going to get a sober or self-medicated version of someone. Just because somebody is different, doesn't have to be reflected in a negative light.

We have and will all make mistakes as parents, whether it's by spanking them too hard, grabbing their arm a little too tightly, or slapping their mouth. We all want to be perfect and we all fall short; our kids love us and we love them. The rest is no one elses business. That paired w/ my mom telling me that "you are a good mother, don't let anyone tell you different. Everyone does the best they can w/ what they are given" are the things I keep telling myself in light of this "dramatic" week or so. Jason and I aren't those parents trying to be "grandparents", we're not our kids "friends". We are here to care, protect, and direct them into the best life possible. If that means minimal junk food, not buying pointless toys, and telling them to pick up after themselves-so be it.

I seriously question where I fit in this family, my sister said that being honest is a big part of her recovery process-and she'd only say these things if something good could come out of it. I'm questioning where the good is, right now I'm hardened to the fact that some people just get off on causing other people pain, and drama in their lives cause they're jealous or have nothing better to do. We are all living this dramatic life as a result of the poor choices she's made the past decade, she can deal w/ her own demons-and everything that comes along with a recovering addict. I refuse to make myself or my family do the same thing.

I'm pretty confident in my parenting skills, for a second I doubted myself and wondered-wow, am I really this awful person she's making me out to be? And then last night before I went to bed I asked Alex about his day (thanks for the reminder Lindsey), and asked if I've been a good mom lately. He looked at me really puzzled and then said "mom, you're always a good mom". That ends this chapter in my life-and yours for that matter:).

Summer Fun

2010-07-18T22:14:00.008-05:00

Wow, it's closely approaching the end of July, where did the summer go? This past week we had Jason's family's cabin reserved we'd like for it to become one of our "traditions". Weather was absolutely gorgeous almost every day, and the one day that it wasn't left way for some needed maintenance, cleaning, and organizing. Family and friends came and went throughout the week, so our time went fast.

It was a noteable week: I turned 31, Laura turned 3, and Ainslee officially became a walker! That coupled with 3 kids who all came down w/ a 2-3 day viral "thing" marked w/ high temp and sores in the mouth, and I, myself ended up w/ a UTI, so while the urgent care wasn't where I wanted to ring in my birthday-life happens. Regardless of the sickness, we rode the waves and all enjoyed ourselves. Laura went go-carting, miniature golfing, out for supper, and then ice cream w/ Jason, me, my nieces, and their friend Amanda-she was all by herself, and I don't think we could have given her a better birthday present then our full attention.

Alex tubed behind Grandpa Russ' fishing boat for the first time, and also jumped off the pier and officially swam for the first time. We wrapped the weekend up w/a little fishing and a pontoon ride w/ Jason parents. All good things come to an end, and I think we were all ready to get back to a sense of normalcy. So it was only fitting that it was raining when we all woke up on Sunday which gave us some incentive to head home. We are so fortunate to have such a wonderful cabin, or second home to utilize throughout the year. Our kids thoroughly enjoy it, and the photos captured create beautiful memories.

Summer Fun

Almost 3

2010-06-21T22:01:00.006-05:00

Wow, I haven't updated since Alex's birthday-and it's amazing how much can change in less than two months. First, hard to believe that Laura is going to be turning 3 in less than a month-she's grown from a toddler to a little girl before our very eyes.

Laura is a spitfire, she will be giving us a run for our money in her teenage years, I can already see it. Her personality, zest for life, and want to be older and continually accomplish what her brother can do make my heart ache-in a good way. She's growing so much quicker it seems than Alex at that age. . . She is moving into the 3 year old class at daycare, and she really enjoys having her own "school" to go to w/ her sister. Laura has the most infectious smile, she doesn't give them up easily so you know when you get a good one you can't help but smile yourself. She's bold, sassy, and my little girl-time needs to stand still a bit longer so she can remain that way:).

Since my last post it may come as a shock to some, and not others that Jason has decided to dissolve his construction business and start working for his family's sand mining business. He's continuing towards his bachelor's degree as well. He's settled into his new job fairly well other than sleep adjustments, those ailments are minor compared to the stress his own business put on himself, our relationship and our family. Our life is like night and day now, and for the better-for many years I was often at the end of my rope and felt his business wasn't worth the stress it caused but I kept telling myself someday things will get better. Did I honestly believe that, no; but now that I'm here I feel like our persistence paid off and we can move onto happier days.

I don't see many responses here-so I'm not sure many people are reading or not. W/ the buzz of facebook I feel like I've lost touch w/ my blog. Til next time.

Almost 5!

2010-04-18T21:39:00.002-05:00

It is unbelievable that Alex is turning 5 in less than a week, I ask myself where the time has gone. . . .

He's grown so much physically, mentally, academically, and socially this past year with the new adaptation of 4k, and the before/after school program. I didn't anticipate problems, but I don't think I could ever believe how interested Alex would be in school, writing words other than his name, learning numbers, and sharing his day with me.

I love hearing his progress from his teacher, he continually excels in almost all aspects of school-I hope that enthusiasm continues for him, at least for a while:). He's got an exciting summer planned ahead of him already, he's going to participate in summer school and little league. I had opted for an assistant coach position, but apparently there is a shortage of coaches so they backed me into a corner to take the position. How hard can it be, it's the Squirts League!

The sad realization has come that he's not "my little boy" anymore, he doesn't need a kiss when I leave him at school or daycare, and I probably don't even need to walk him in-but when it's night time and we're snuggling in to go to bed, he still reminds me of the little toddler in him that would run around w/ his blank and blue pup and tell me that he loves me, and need a moochie and hug. I'm going to cherish this time because I know all too well it's probably becoming limited. . .

Alex is celebrating in style this year, equipped w/ a swimming party at the Ripon Comfort Suites, and for the first time the party is going to include many of Alex's friends instead of just family. Happy Birthday Allycat James Wuest, I love you!

6 Months

2010-02-27T15:11:00.003-06:00

Where has the time gone? My baby is turning into a bigger baby, one that can sit up by herself, is eating foods, and grabbing at one thing or another all the time. She's getting stronger every day, in body and spirit I think-I love to see personalities emerge.

Ainslee had her 6 months well check last Monday, and while it wasn't so "well" we did get some stats. She's 17 lbs, and 26 1/4" long; I'm not even sure where she falls in the percentiles-but I believe it's right around 50th for both. She's also meeting all her developmental milestones, it was so funny she couldn't sit alone last Monday-and now she's doing it, and reaching everywhere for items and balancing her weight.

She has had a hell of a first winter though, she's been plagued w/ ear infections since December-one after another. It made for many sleepless nights, and an unhappy baby most days. She was finally able to get into the ENT last Wed, and he put tubes in Thursday. They were certainly needed, it was a matter of a day and Ains was like a new girl. The doctor has said the stats are not on her side, she will probably have more sets given how she's had problems at such a young age. Now until 3 years old might be a little rough for us, but it did make me feel a little better knowing my two other kids dodged that bullet-1 out of 3 ain't bad!

The last few weeks have brought so many firsts: teeth, first full night of sleep, and now her tubes-being her first surgery. It prompted me to go buy her a baby book, cause GASP I hadn't bought one yet. I was even more heartbroken to find that Jason had tossed (on accident) the folder containing all of her hospital stuff: bracelets, pink slip w/ her name and doctor, footprints, YES, all the good stuff. Even her u/s photos. I felt like such a crappy parent knowing her book won't have in it what the other kids did. I was able to print off a scanned copy of the u/s photos, the rest I'll just have to explain to her some day.

So here's hoping for many wonderful days to come to you Ainslee, lord knows you deserve it for all the rough one's you've had in the last 3 months!

Spring, where are you?

2010-02-01T15:12:00.004-06:00

So it's February, and our household is getting a serious itch for Spring to make its appearance early. Seems that I have been to the doctors office every week for the past two months-for one thing or another. First was Alex's finger, and then about a month and half of aftercare, then once that subsided all 3 of the kids had ear infections. I'm assuming the lovely amoxicillin didn't touch them, and 3 weeks later each one of them slowly trickled in, Ainslee first, then Laura had a sinus infection, then a lovely viral condition called astomatitis, and finally Alex went in last week. They've all tried a second round of antibiotics, so I'm hoping they work-and we're done w/ the sickies for a while. If there was one trait I didn't want to pass onto my children, it was ear infections. . . . Most of my childhood winter months were spent with monthly runs to the ENT, and usually resulted in a set of tubes for the year. I had in total probably 5-7 sets of tubes in my lifetime, the last set going in at 16 years old.

And I have to add-cause I started this 2 days ago, Ains has since been back to the ped for yet another ear infection-so as I suspected it's off to the ENT, and tubes more than likely. My ped has told me the stats aren't on our side at having 3 infections before 6 months of age-those kids typically have ear problems til they age and their estatuean tube has more of an angle. The ped said my history isn't on her side, and it appears she probably has my anatomy-guess I gave one of my kids something, huh?!

So I was going to add more to this, but due to my lack of sleep last night-I'm beat, off to bed I go. . .

A Decade of Life

2009-12-22T13:18:00.002-06:00

I thought about doing a top 10 list for the year of 2009, but honestly-the year wasn't that notable to me, in fact w/ the exception of Ainslee's birth it wouldn't hurt my feelings to clear this one off the board:). So I've come up w/ my highlights of the past decade-so many amazing life experiences:

10) Turned 21, at the time I felt it was the epitomy of becoming an adult. After all, if you can legally drink, it must mean you can deal with the consequences afterwards:). Physically and mentally that is.

9) Got married, I don't refer to Jason often on many things in the public sector, aka the internet, my blog, or facebook. We have spent the past 13 years of our life together, and the strides we've taken from then til now are countless. I often think of the song "Remember When" by Alan Jackson, cliche I know but honestly the line where it says "we came together, fell apart, and broke each other's hearts" was a good way to sum up the past couple years since he's went into business for himself. It's been hard, physically and mentally-throw in 3 kids, and two adults in school and it's a recipe for near disaster. We literally almost separated right before Laura was born, the stress of our new house project-Jason's absence, and poor decisions regarding work, drinking, and work all came to a head. In many ways I think people mirror their parents in relationships-because it's all they know. The Bonnie in me resented him for poor decisions, and wanted to prove I could do it w/ out him-which I now know I could, but didn't want to. He taught me perserverance, and self confidence at least that's the positive light I can take away from that time in my life. We went to marriage counseling, and it was there I learned that even the best marriages could benefit from counseling. We came back to square one, respect was restored for both of us, and a clean slate was started. I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to be living my life with anyone else, we come from very different places-but it's those differences that balance each other. I believe he is the love of my life, but the support he's given me this past year has been immeasurable-he is my best friend, and nobody understands me the way he does. It's an amazing feeling to know I have the rest of my life to entrust to him.

8) Worked in the most amazing environment possible. My job at Ripon turned out to be the most amazing opportunity ever for me. It afforded me an opportunity to use my skills, and continually grow. I'm indebted to Ron Haefner, without the financial support I would not have completed my associates degree. Personal and skill growth were not the only perks to that position, but I had the opportunity to work with 3 other wonderful people. One of which I can easily call one of my best friends. People asked why I left since I enjoyed it so much, I needed a change. All good things come to an end, and at that end hopefully there's another great opportunity waiting for you.

7) Alex was born. Alex was not planned, he was more of a pleasant surprise due to number 1:). Words cannot describe the birth of your first child, it is the most life altering experience known to man and woman I think. When I hear of couples pregnant with their first child, I just smile and tell them that they are about to experience one of the greatest days in their life on the day of that child's birthday. Alex brought Jason and I into a reality that life is not lived for ourselves, it's in the joys that bring a simple smile to a child's face. It's that first smile, first laugh, first tooth, first word, first step. All of those and so many more firsts are indescribeable and unless you are a parent-you will never know that feeling.

6) Mag graced us w/ her presence. I don't need to elaborate on this, as I have in the past. I still cry sometimes thinking about the circumstances of when Mag left us. A smile crosses my face on a sunny day though, knowing she'd love to embrace that warmth. Or when we're in the vehicle and Laura will randomly say "there's Maggie, jumping in the clouds".

5) The house project. This 10 month project was noteably one of the hardest times in our lives. Long hours of work, long hours of entertaining children, lots of incomplacently-which I hate, financial uncertainties, and a shaky marriage. We're lucky to have gotten out of this one alive, but 2 years later when the dust has settled we're left with a beautiful home that holds amazing memories of families before us, and many more of our own to create.

4) Laura was born. Much of what I stated in 5 is the same here, but I have to add that the best part about having more than one child is not comparing how much they look alike, but accenting how different each child is from one another. The similarities are what make them brother and sisters, the differences are what make them individuals. They will always have one another to rely on, but it's their individualism that will take them far in life. My mom always told us that she loves each of equally, but differently-that is how I feel about my children as well.

3) Completed my associates degree. I started this process shortly after Alex was born. I worked fulltime up until last Feb, and attended classes online, at night, or on weekends. Often times I took the accelerated format of classes, and progressed. Two more children, and 3 years later I will finally see my degree. My in laws sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers the day after I completed my final course, w/ a card stating "congrats on all your accomplishments". It was probably the nicest gesture anyone has done for me-they realized how hard I worked, and practiced the juggling of working, kids, and school. My own family doesn't have a clue what I've accomplished, which is a little disheartening; but I'm proud of the fact that I juggled it all and managed a 3.95+ gpa. I'd love to keep going, but we can't swing it financially, and now is the time for Jason to focus on his school and hopefully go at it hard; I don't want anymore irons in the fire than necessary so now is a time to sit back and relax for a while.

2) Ainslee was born. Ainslee's pregnancy and birth were an amazing experience for Jason and I. It was the first time throughout our kids that we were on the same page. She is our last, so it was wonderful to have such amazing memories of those last 9 months and birth as a couple. She's a good baby just as the other two were, and I cannot wait to see her emerging personality to see where she rounds out our multi-facade family.

1) I turned 30. It seems like such a milestone in somebodies life when you see it on paper, but the realization is that between 21 and 30-you grow so much physically, spiritually and mentally. It's these life experiences that age you, and help you learn how to deal with the hard things in life. This past year has been one of those "hard things", and had I not experienced any of these things in life-I might have went off the deep end.

I'm so excited to see what the next decade will have in store for me, what other life experiences will shape me. While not everything is good-you need to embrace the hard things as well cause it's usually those things that make you grow into a better person.

Life is Good

2009-11-30T22:41:00.002-06:00

It's been a month of transition for us-me moving back into the working world, the girls to daycare, and Alex to a new school. And while the position is just part-time, it's the perfect schedule, and break in the day for everyone. I enjoy my job, the environment is really great-very relaxed, laid back, I can tell the employer values it's employees, and I feel like I'm a great fit for them, as they are for me.

Alex's transition to a different school as by far been the easiest, he absolutely loves his new school and all it entails. He goes in around 10, plays for a bit, eats lunch and then heads to class. Afterwards he goes to the afterschool program, and is picked up at 5-and not a minute sooner because he loves the activities they do there. His teacher says he's adjusting well academically, and I'm looking forward to meeting with her. A few weeks back he had yet another "incident" which resulted in more stitches, but for once they weren't on his face:). He got his finger pinched in the door on the hinge side at school, they had to stitch his finger tip back in place, and he lost his entire nail bed. He is recovering well, the doctor said she is amazed at how quickly his finger recovered from such a traumatic experience-thankfully he has as well. That poor kid has had more stitches in 4 years, than I have had in a lifetime!

Laura is adjusting too, to my surprise she had a hard time with separation anxiety. I am just getting to the point of being able to leave her without her shedding tears, and asking "you come back and get me mommy?" with big tears in her eyes. But she too enjoys going to her "very own" orange school in "pond du lac". The teachers are all amazing where she goes, they are constantly doing activities academic and play in nature, and the meals are provided by an elderly woman who goes to church where the daycare is located. The kids eat better than we do! Her terrible twos are still in swing, we're just waiting for this phase to pass and enjoying the spontanaity it brings.

"Baby Ainslee" as she is referred to in our household is growing and morphing every day. She has adjusted to daycare as well, the girls there are wonderful with her and I know she is well cared for. One thing to be said about daycare centers vs. in home is how unbelievably organized they are-everything is documented, and there isn't much that I don't know what either of the girls did throughout the day. She had her 2 month checkup after we returned from Colorado and weighed in at 12 lbs, and 23 inches long.

Aside from the kids, Jason and I have been on a monetary mission. While I've heard a lot of talk about Dave Ramsey as of lately, I decided to get a book and see what all the hype was about. After reading the Total Money Makeover, I realized none of it was anything we didn't know-the book was solely to provide motivation for people like us. We don't have tons of debt, it's just hard to go month to month on a self-employed contractor and part time salary. We needed to get a handle on the small things that were holding us back, like our credit card. We've liquidated a lot of things laying around the house, which has helped us from month to month just to lighten our load. Our goal is to have our mortgage as our sole debt within the next 8 months.

And I thought this day would never come, but 4 years and 3 kids later-I am finally going to be receiving my associates degree. Along the way some people have made the comment "just an associates" but to someone who juggled kids, work, and school for the past 4 years-it's not "just" anything. It's a huge accomplishment, and not only did I complete it-but I completed it with a 3.94+ gpa. I hope I can go back for my bachelors some day, but right now we can't financially swing it, it's time for Jason to focus on his education-and for me to enjoy one less thing to juggle for a bit.

Alright, that's all for now. . . Til next time.

Where I'm Going

2009-10-30T15:43:00.002-05:00

It's been a while since I updated, and my life has been busy as usual. We enjoyed a trip out to Colorado to visit my sister and her family, while Jason and my brother-in-law went hunting. Alex was actually out there a whole week before we went which was weird-it was my first time away from him for any extended period of time. While I missed him, I took advantage of the couple extra minutes in my day and started job hunting.

Jason and I agreed before I even started hunting that I wasn't going to waste my time applying for positions I wasn't serious about-it wastes my time and energy of stressing about the what-ifs. I applied for a pt customer service/it position within a Minnesota based company that has just built a new logistics center in Fond du Lac. McNeilus Steel manufacturers and supplies raw steel. My job will be a jack of all trades, some office duties, customer service, and they liked my resume cause they felt the i.t. background would be useful since the center is connected to the corporate office-and they'd like a liason when technology issues arise.

When I first started at the college I was basically just doing office work, and 8 years later my duties, titles, and responsiblities changed immensely. It was an amazing opportunity-just as I feel this position is. I'll be working 11-4, Monday through Friday which works out perfectly. We can get out the door in time to get Alex off to school, and be back home to enjoy some family time. It will help us out tremendously in the finances which is a large part of why I decided to go back-in this economy, I figure if I can swim rather than sink, why not do it? Time away from family is minimal in this position, and will probably be positive for the dynamics since it will give me a mental break from childrearing and remind myself that I am something other than a "mom":).

Due to my job, Alex will be transferring to the 4k program within our school district, and he's really excited about going to the "orange school". Last week he met the director of the before/after school daycare program, and also toured his classroom so he's comfortable when he goes in on Monday. I'm nervous cause I feel like he's going to grow up so much now-going to and from class w/ minimal help, recess, and hot lunch. I guess that's life, but it's scary! He also enjoyed his first vacation without us, he got to "go on a big plane with Grandma Bonnie, all the way to Colorado!". It's something he'll never forget, and he very much enjoyed the limelight for that week w/ out us.

Laura and Ainslee will be going to daycare in Fond du Lac, so I've been building Laura up to the thought that she's going to school as well-since she already wants too go along with Alex. I think she will do alright after the first couple days, she has more separation anxiety than Alex ever had-but it's pretty manageable, especially if crayon, paint, or markers are part of the distraction. She endured the 15 hour drive out to Colorado really well, it was just a matter of catching up on lost sleep when we got out there-and fighting off a cold. She probably at about 30 apples while we were out there, hence the photo. She got to ride in the big airplane with Grandma Bonnie on the way back-Miss Personality wanted to go home w/ the guy sitting next to her:). She's also in a pretty strong terrible two stage, or rather she is just very different than Alex ever was. She doesn't listen, ruins things on a daily basis without a second thought, is starting to fight nap and bedtime, and she just dances to her own tune. I think that's what makes me laugh about the bad situations, right behind one of her negative actions comes Alex-I think he's more upset about the things she does than I am half the time!

Ainslee's growing and developing like a weed, a few nights this past week she slept for 8-7 hour stretches so I think she's on her way to sleeping through the night. She's smiling up a storm, and starting to show more and more of her personality every day. The kids love entertaining her, and now it's even more rewarding when she smiles back at them. I will miss her most when I go back to work, she doesn't talk back yet:).

As hard as it will be, I remind myself that the financial aspect will be worth the time away-less stressful nights and days for me, equals happier me and kids. I've always believed that certain things happen for a reason, at the right time-and that is what I think this job is for me as well. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I'll let you know when I get there;).

Does anything ever really make sense?

2009-09-23T22:06:00.002-05:00

This past year has been one of turmoil, downs, and ups. . . . Unfortunately more downs than up, it makes me think I should consider writing a country western song. The year started out with an opportunity for me to pursue a new career, one which afforded me more time w/ my kids so I decided to take it-but unfortunately things didn't turn out the way I had planned. All was not lost with that particular episode though because it has given me the opportunity to spend an entire summer with my children, and allows me to do all the running of errands to chasing after Alex's school schedule, and pursue my final two classes for my associate's degree.

Then there's my oldest sister who is in her early 40's went in for her routine cardiac cath and came out a heart attack and 3 stents later. That was another few weeks of watchful waiting and stress. . . I'm happy to report she is doing very well, it's just a matter of waiting to see what the next couple years bring for her.

Early in the summer I lost Mag, and while it was for all the right reasons it was probably one of my hardest blows. I still cry thinking about her in my quiet times, and I cry replaying the weeks leading up to putting her down, and the kids initial reaction; specifically Alex when I informed him that Mag would be going to heaven soon, his reply "but that means she'll die". It's one of those moments where you wonder, why does life have to be so hard?

Luckily we had a few months of quiet, and then the wonderful arrival of Ainslee-it was the one thing I knew I could look forward to the entire summer and hope to have a break in the dramatic twists my life seems to take.

Two days after bringing her home my mom informed me and my sister's that she was moving out of the house, and pursuing a legal separation or possible divorce from my dad after 40+ years of marriage. While their relationship was anything but great, and we could all understand how they could get to that point-it's a hard pill to swallow, especially coming off what was supposed to be a great time in my household w/ the addition of a new baby. For about 2 weeks my mom stayed at various houses meanwhile pursuing the proper steps to separate, when she got to the financial part of the separation the "shit hit the fan". My dad finally hit rock bottom, realized this was the real deal and finally agreed to go to counseling for himself, as well as marriage counseling. I'm happy to report my mom has moved back home, and things seem to be going very well. They wasted so much time hating each other for simple misunderstandings, and need to work past some resentment issues so hopefully with the help of professionals they can do that. If not, at least we'll all have the peace of mind that they did everything in their power to make it work.

For those of you that may not know, one of my older sister's has an addiction to pain killers; she also relies heavily on anti-depressant and anxiety meds to get her through the day. If you've ever watched the t.v. show Intervention-her life mirrors many of those people. Shortly after I had Laura she hit rock bottom and got herself some help, unfortunately it seems she relapsing. I've decided to distance myself from this situation-she is the only one that can help herself, and my plate is full enough with my own immediate family that I don't think this warrants my attention. While it might seem selfish, I've spent a better part of 2 years dealing and helping her directly only watch it all fall back to a relapse, so I'm officially giving up on that right now.

Finally, Granny Ruth (Ains' middle name sake) was admitted to the hospital last week, they weren't quite sure what was wrong but they felt that there was possibly a trauma to her urethra due to the catheter getting moved. A few days went by and her bleeding continued which lead them to believe they were dealing with something bigger like cancer, luckily the bleeding has subsided so they are sticking with their first diagnosis; however, they did agree that Grandma is steadily declining and feel that hospice should probably be called in. There's no telling how long she could be with us-hours, days, or years (knowing her:). I struggle with this more because I know how pissed she'd be if she knew it came to this-88 years old and has to rely on everyone to do everything for her, and she can't even see or talk. I ask myself and God, why? What is the point of keeping somebody on Earth like that?

I have found myself asking this question for a better part of the year, it's been a hard one to swallow for me. I am not a fan of drama, so you can imagine that this year has been the one from hell. Most days I woke up and wondered where the bottom was going to drop out today? I am a strong believer in everything happening for a reason, I really struggled with this the past year. I know this is sort of a downer post, but I felt I owed it to some people to let them know if I've come off frazzled, seem distant, or have had a hard time focusing-one of these few things might have been the reason why.

While I give up trying to piece all things together, some of it makes sense. Things I do know are that I am so blessed to have my family, my health, and a head on my shoulders that tends to keep things clear.

Latest and Greatest

2009-09-13T22:32:00.002-05:00

We've settled into a routine around the Wuest household, and while it's consistent-it is busy. I thought becoming a sahm would make my life a little easier, and it might once I'm done with school-but right now my head spins with what day of the week it is, whether I have my homework done for the week, whose watching the kids Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday; and then there's Friday which is basically my only day to slowly approach the day and just stay home! The end is finally in sight, and I'm all slated to get my diploma come December-I'm just wrapping up my last two courses. Some people think I'm crazy to jump into classes after having a baby; however, one of the courses is only offered in the fall semester-and I figured since I'm at home I'd take the final course and just get it over with.

Alex started 4 year old preschool 2 weeks ago, and let's just say that things have been a little trying between the two of us. He seems to have hit his terrible twos at the ripe age of 4 because most days are filled with talking back, tantrums, and constant aggravation of his younger sister. Some people say it's the addition of the baby, but honestly I think it's the realization that Ainslee is not his problem-it's Laura, who is becoming more and more independent (most times, moreso than him) and his competition for attention. I hope the next few months bring a passing of some sort of phase. He is however amazing with Ainslee, he loves talking and touching her and she enjoys his company.

Laura is growing up before our very eyes, I didn't realize how big she really was getting until Ainslee came along. She expresses herself through art, she loves to paint, color, and write. She also expresses herself through screaming, spitting, and throwing herself on the floor for a good ol' tantrum. How blessed I am to have two children going through terrible two's together:), can you sense my sarcasm. She is very good with Ainslee, she's become much more careful in a short time-and she enjoys looking and talking to her when Alex isn't doing so. I try my hardest not to treat her as the typical middle child, and now that her personality is in full force it's very apparent that each of your children are different-yet you love them the same. She is going to be one independent girl, which is a great quality-especially for a woman in this day and age; regardless of her looks, I did give her something!

Speaking of personalities, our latest addition is fitting right in. She's starting to make herself known in the household with being awake for longer periods of time, holding eye contact, and making noise every once in a while. The nurses called her strong willed within hours of being born, that she is-and she's also a little sassy already. She's still blessing us with long stretches of sleep in the night, and yes-we know we're spoiled. There is nothing like the smell of a new baby, and just the quiet moments of cuddling up on the couch with this little being giving herself all to you, I truly am cherishing as many moments like this as we can get.

So while the craziness can get a little overwhelming, I try to remind myself that life won't be this crazy forever. People think I'm nuts when I tell them the age of my children-I remind them it will only be really hard for a few year, you know, til they're all moved out of the house:) Til then, I'll enjoy every moment of the mahem!

Introducing Miss Ainslee Ruth

2009-09-02T21:17:00.004-05:00

The wait was finally over on August 22nd, as Ainslee Ruth joined us just before 5 p.m. She weighed in at 8 lbs 4 oz, and 20" long. I had had contractions for a few days leading up to it, even went into the hospital on Thursday night only to be sent home because she was still pretty "high up there". Little did they know she wouldn't come down til the last minute. We came home, and I got an exceptionally good night of sleep on Friday night-when I woke I told Jason I hadn't slept that good in a long time, and his response was "maybe that means something". Sure enough by 10 a.m. my contractions were 5 minutes apart for about an hour, so I called in to see when the midwife wanted me to come in. Given how quickly Laura came, she thought we should head in-the 3rd time around you're much calmer, and almost paranoid that you're afraid it's a false alarm, but in the same sense you don't want to have the baby in the car on the way there, lol. So we headed in around 12:30, the midwife broke my water around 2, and I had her 3 hours later. Labor was much harder this time around than with Laura, it was an extra hour of natural labor so by the time I had to push I was exhausted. Nontheless, I pushed so well that the midwife didn't even have time to put her gown on. Aside from her shoulders getting stuck for a bit, she came out without a hitch.

Since she came out so quickly, her heart rate and breathing were quick in an effort to work off the fluid in her lungs that didn't get squeezed out. They kept her in the nursery for the night, so I went in and held her for a good few hours and then headed to bed. The next morning they wheeled her in bright and early, and she stayed-and got held lots and lots the entire day:).

We've been home about a week and half, and it's amazing how quickly reality sets in with the 3rd baby and you don't even really get that "honeymoon" phase. Jason took a week off, so it helped with the kids transition; even moreso Alex started school this week so they've adjusted relatively quickly since we pretty much had to jump back into "life". Alex is almost too good w/ her, talks to her a lot and is in her face and kissing and touching her all the time. Laura is getting there as well, at first she was a little physical and didn't know how to be careful-but she's improved a lot in the past week. They both really don't show a whole lot of jealousy, and if they do-it's in the form of being naughty towards Jason and I, so we can handle that:)

I've been blessed with another good sleeper so far (knock on wood), she already only wakes twice-and technically since her second waking is at 5:45 it really isn't nighttime anymore. She's a content baby, and I love holding and enjoying her every second I can-especially knowing she's my last. So far she has dark hair, and I'm guessing she'll have blue eyes to match her siblings. And with my luck all that dark hair will fall out and come back in blond just like Laura's, I laughed as a friend of mine told me "you have cookie cutter babies, they all come out looking the same", to which I responded- "I have Wuest babies". My mom is holding out hope this baby has dark hair probably cause she feels sorry for me, but I'm not holding out hope-Ainslee is who she is, and looks like herself just as my other kids do.

Here is an album with some photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/dobiluvr/Ainslee#.

The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

2009-08-06T20:20:00.003-05:00

One of Tom Petty's greatest comes to mind right about now as I'm approaching the last 3 weeks (or less) of my pregnancy. I've started going weekly, and had my first physical exam this past week. The results: I'm dilated to 1, cervix is soft, and baby's station is still up there (as if it moved away from her when she checked me). She said it could be anytime now given my cervix, she also estimated the baby to be 7-7.5 lbs, while I don't hold her to it-she was right on w/ Laura so I know she has a pretty educated guess:).

I'm also happy to report that the headaches I had about 3 weeks ago have subsided as I began seeing a chiropractor. So besides some lower back pain and the usual late pg complaints-things are going pretty well.

Summer is wrapping up quickly, and I have to say that I'm quite surprised how quickly it went considering I was home all summer. I really enjoyed spending the days with the kids whether it was taking a trip to find a pool, new park, or just stay at home-it was fun to watch them enjoy themselves. I'm not sure what the next few months is going to bring in with regards to a job-but I do know that I appreciated and enjoyed every moment I had w/ the kids this summer.

Alex will be starting 4k this year which I don't anticipate any problems, since the 3k program he attended last year prepped him really well. While he enjoyed the summer, I think he's looking forward to the start of school as well to some routine, and mental stimulation.

This past weekend was our last weekend up north for the summer cause I didn't want to get too far from home within a month of being due. We finally had the cabin to ourselves, and also took up my mom, and nieces who were home visiting from Colorado. They enjoyed a horse back ride, go carts, Laura enjoyed a pony ride, swimming at the lake, and smores. We all enjoyed our last hurrah, or at least til the baby comes:)

I've come to realize

2009-07-26T21:29:00.004-05:00

A few friends shared this via Facebook, so I thought I would complete a few of them according to my life at this moment-and share here.

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size...shrinks w/ each pg, and someday I might get that boob job:)

2. I've come to realize that in my job-I work to live, not live to work.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...I prefer to be alone, and have music I love cranked

4. I've come to realize that I need....to remind myself that only so much is in my hands

5. I've come to realize that I have lost..one of my best friends, and it didn't have to be human

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...people are dishonest, drama seeking, or gaining something at someone else's expense

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...I'm probably happy

8. I've come to realize that money...is material, it doesn't define a person

9. I've come to realize that certain people...bring out the best in me, and other's bring out the worst

10. I've come to realize that I'll always ...rely on myself

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)...some are dramatic, pay little attention to detail, have no sense of commitment, one probably won't ever find herself, and I really wish one of them lived closer. They all love my children as if they were their own, and that's what I focus on.

12. I've come to realize that my mom...is a wonderful person who deserved a better marriage than the one she got

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...is usually on vibrate, and many times I won't answer it even though I know it's ringing

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...my body was a pile, and I couldn't believe what an awful night of sleep I got, lol

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep..I iced my back, and relaxed by watching the local news in peace and quiet

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking..I hope I sleep better tonight!

17. I've come to realize that my dad...didn't lead a perfect life, but has spent the last few years making up lost time; see 12

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...I'm amazed at the amount of time people waste, and am extremely annoyed with how people use it as a means to keep tabs on me

19. I've come to realize that today...I donated time to a charitable cause

20. I've come to realize that tonight...in a few short weeks we're going to be a family of 5, and wondering how the kids will transition

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...is just another day to enjoy with the kids, oh and I'm getting a massage

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...have the best of both worlds-stay at home w/ my kids, but work on my career and earn my own living

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is...n/a

24. I've come to realize that life...while hard, is so worth the ride

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...was busy, I'm looking forward to heading up north next weekend for some r&r before the baby

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...anything I like

27. I've come to realize that my friends..some are just as important as family

28. I've come to realize that this year...has been rough, but look forward to the wonder that is yet to come to make it a great year

29. I've come to realize that my ex..I'm thankful that he taught me what a 'nice guy' is

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...stand up for myself when people act inappropriately

31. I've come to realize that I love...watching my children: eat, sleep, breathe, laugh, cry and smile

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...why you have to lose something to realize what you had

33. I've come to realize my past...made me who I am today

34. I've come to realize that parties..it's hard to relive that summer after you graduate high school feeling, but damn it sure would be fun!

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...of losing my parents

36. I've come to realize that my life....is wonderful and I've been so blessed

Happy Birthday Sissy!

2009-07-16T21:11:00.004-05:00

Yesterday Laura (or we refer to her as Sissy) turned 2 years old. It is so hard to believe that much time has passed, here is her birthday movie recapping the past year:

Where has the time gone?

2009-07-08T13:43:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I had my 32 week check-up and will go in every 2 weeks from here on out. Where has the time gone, in some respects it's dragged a little, but from about 20 weeks on things just seemed to fly.

I am feeling pretty good, measuring right on target and I've only gained 11 lbs so far.

Many people ask if I have any inclination of a boy or a girl, and honestly I don't have a clue. This baby is very active like Alex was, but I'm carrying much like I did w/ Laura. Which is hard to say cause I'm not sure if it's the way I'm carrying, or being more consciencious of weight gain w/ subsequent children. Alex kicked a lot, this baby seems to do more rolling around and lodging itself in uncomfortable positions (for me at least). And it seems like I can feel a lot more this time around, like when the kid is rolling around or bouncing off organs I'm more aware of it-and feel more discomforts.

This baby doesn't get the luxury of it's own room, or a newly decorated nursery-but since it's the 3rd time around I know it doesn't really matter. It will room with us until we determine what our sleeping situation will be. We need to finish the 3rd level (which we have all the materials), and then decide who gets the "luxury suite". The thought of us being on the 3rd and all the children on the 2nd is a little nerve wracking. And Alex isn't quite brave enough to want a room "all the way up there, by himself". Laura would make me nervous up there, she's braver than Alex-so it's hard telling what she might get herself into:). So this baby might get the king/queen treatment once we situate things.

I'm enjoying these last few weeks of being pregnant since it is our last, Jason sealed that deal 2 weeks ago w/ a vasectomy. The wiggles, kicks, and general discomforts are kind of welcoming. But I'm also looking forward to moving onto that next "stage" in life of being done w/ kids, plus I honestly don't think my body could handle another pregnancy.

On a separate note, some of you may have noticed that I decided to make my blog private. While a blog is a place to share happenings and feelings, I never really consider it to be a place for others to "keep tabs" on me in a negative light, or to be used as a conversation piece for certain family members to use only as a catalyst to make it seem as if they know everything that's going on in our lives. It's a poor excuse for a relationship, and that was never my intention so I've decided that I will control who reads what I have to publish on here. And in the past I've often withheld information or feelings because of these people, so I just decided if I can control the situation-why do that to myself?

Many have asked how life is going since Mag is gone, and honestly-it's still extremely hard. Much harder than I anticipated, and I think it's largely due to the fact that I never really got a solid chunk of time to grieve right afterwards. I was running the kids, and other "life" things in general and so it hit me in waves. Especially walking into the house and not having that face there to greet me, not having anyone to lay with on the couch after the kids went to bed, and just the general awareness of her not being around when we're outside, starting the 4-wheeler, etc. Coming home from up north this past weekend was the first trip we had made and it was especially hard, after a long, dramatic weekend I just wanted to come home and relax-but instead I was filled with the dread of coming home to an empty house, or not having to run to my parents to pick her up. I know with time this will get better, so thanks to all of you for your words, and thoughts:).

Spirits Soaring

2009-06-23T22:01:00.003-05:00

Mag is up running with the angels tonight, that is running without stumbling, tripping or falling down. It's with a heavy heart I decided it was time to let her go, as her quality of life was starting to wain-and the only reasons to keep her on this earth were for my own selfish ones. I vowed I would never do that to her, and I didn't.

She gave me 2 months longer than I anticipated, so that in itself was a blessing.

Mag was essentially my dog, but she was so much a part of our entire family; and just as equally meaningful to Jason. We had to remind ourselves of all the right reasons we were making our decision, cause when a dog is with you for so long-and goes through so many things with you, it's hard to decide what's right and wrong, and no time is essentially the right time. Alex will tell you "Mag went to heaven today", while he never paid much attention to Mag-he was very good with her, better than any 4 year old I know-he often told her to quit licking her feet, or more motherly terms that I used. Sissy took to Mag, she was around her often-and petting, kisses and singing were very much a part of their relationship.

Jason joked that we'd have to put a sand bag in our bed, cause things just wouldn't be the same with just the two of us in it. Mag's attitude and personality will never be replaced, simple facial expressions and goofy physical responses were just a part of her. She was your typical taboo dog-she owned the place, was allowed on the furniture, slept in our bed, and was overall pushy when she wanted to be petted. But she was such a good dog, she matured into a well behaved dog (most of the time) and an amazing companion. I will miss her most when Jason isn't around, and the kids go to bed-just having her lay next to me. She was my shadow, and it felt good to have her always looking for me-or to be needed.

This photo is one of the best reflections of what goofballs both Rip and Mag were, and it brings back great memories. I will miss her immensely, sleep softly Miss Maggie.

Semi-retired

2009-06-17T08:34:00.008-05:00

That was the term my sister used when she found out I quit my job. Yes, I decided that the poor work environment paired with the unfulfillment of the actual duties wasn't worth my commute and time away from the family on the weekends. So I've decided to stay home with the kids fulltime until the baby comes. I'll then go on the job hunt again and see what is out there.

The question of the hour for some of those who found out I quit was "do you regret leaving RC?" Not at all, I wanted to spend more time with my kids, and that's what I'm doing-and I was ready to move onto something different since RC couldn't offer me the best of both worlds. Do I miss the people there, and the great work environment-yes, but the trade off was worth it to me.

In the meantime, RC needs some help with their lease cycle so I eagerly volunteered to help them-it benefits them by helping get computers out, and benefits me by continuing to do 'something' in computers.

In this economy it was something I was very hesistant to do, but I don't think any job that offers such a poor environment is worth the sanity of somebody. The thought of relying on somebody else for my livelihood is a little unnerving, especially considering that person is self-employed. But I situated and managed money as best I could, so hopefully we're set for a few good months-the rest is out of my hands.

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-06T16:24:00.005-05:00

It's a little early, but I thought I'd take the liberty of posting about Father's Day just as I did Mother's Day.

My dad grew up in North Fond du Lac, and like many men in the area the railroad became his career. He worked his way up through the ranks to eventually become an engineer, he made good money considering the times-and allowed for my mom to stay home with the kids. Aside from work, trapping also became an occupation/hobby; often times he'd come home from a long trip only to drive out and capture or set traps for hours.

Hunting and fishing have always been a large part of my dad's life, and along with that he liked to have a good time with his alcohol. He has some pretty amazing stories of hunting, wildlife, fishing, and general life experiences; and he is one of the best (second to his father) storytellers I have ever heard.

Dad wasn't around much while I was growing up, he worked-and by the time I came along trapping wasn't quite as rewarding as it once was, but he still would hunt or fish when not working which meant very little time devoted to his family aside from providing financially.

It wasn't until he became a grandfather that dad really settled into more of a family role, and did a little less 'partying' per se. Just about then I was graduating from high school; however, I will always appreciate the card he gave me for graduation thanking me for being such a good kid, and keeping myself out of trouble so my mom didn't have one more thing on her plate to deal with during their gas station ordeal.

A few more years passed and dad eventually retired from the railroad, it was by far one of the best days of his life. Mom, me and my sisters, their significant others, and the grandchlidren made the special trip over to Portage so that we could all be waiting for him at his last railroad crossing before stepping off the train for one last time. It was one of the best days of my life I think just to see the happiness on his face-and to be surrounded by all of his loved one's on such a momentous occasion.

Retirement has been all he has ever imagined it to be-time to hunt and fish whenever he wants, he has a few gardens, a pond and woods he maintains behind our house, and just the ability to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. He drives past our house about 20 times a day in his little escort wagon, filled to the brim w/ a cooler (for veggies) and fishing poles. He drives through our driveway about 5 times going back to the woods for numerous things-and often times he'll pick Alex up to help cut wood, work in the garden, or just go fishing in the pond and Alex absolutely loves it. Random acts of kindness from dad:

Variety of garden fresh veggies in the fridge at any given time
He's worked up various areas in the yard w/ his tiller making landscaping much easier on my pregnant body
He was a tremendous help during our remodel
I would have been lost without him during Laura's pregnancy, he was literally my other half most of the time
He'll mow the lawn if he feels it's getting too long
And trim my bushes-except those bridal wreaths:)

I didn't appreciate my dad until I had kids of my own because that's when he became more prevalant in our lives. If you ever met him you'd be amazed that such a quiet guy could be so good w/ kids. Both my kids and I love him very much, and could never express how much we appreciate who he is and all he's done for us. Happy Father's Day Dad!

Memorial Day memories

2009-05-24T23:36:00.004-05:00

We're very fortunate that we were able to purchase and remodel my maternal grandparent's farmhouse, aside from a very big construction undertaking-it was nice to ensure that the house that held so many memories for so many people was going to be 'taken care of'.

I spent a large portion of my childhood at my grandparents house, they were our next door neighbor and Grandma was my designated babysitter-my great aunt Cile will attest to the fact that I was almost always at my grandparent's side. I was always guaranteed Twinkies, candy, cookies, and best of all Mt. Dew. I was one of those kids who became very naughty after a can of Dew (or a combination of all of the above)-so my mom just loved picking me up!

I have fond memories of mowing their lawn, hitting the volleyball off the grainery roof, tennis in the barn yard, playing catch with Grandpa, and swinging on the old Ash tree. Other not so fond memories of being stalked by the million barn swallows in the yard-aside from being aggressive "those birds don't hurt anything" Grandpa would say.

I was the youngest of 14 grandchildren, and my grandma would often say that he treated me special. He'd take me down to Brenner's on his bowling league night, take me to the softball games at Taylor park, and many nights I was forced to watch Lawrence Welk for entertainment. He was a farmer, and then he also became a milk hauler-his milk truck was his pride and joy.

Grandpa became ill when I was about 13 years old, I was too young to understand lung cancer and what it meant. But he eventually came home, and hospice became routine for a few months-and then he quietly passed away one night.

After my grandfather passed away, my dad did much of the yard maintenance (minus the lawnmowing-grandma loved mowing). He managed to trim just about everything in the yard; one of Grandpa's prized possessions were the bridal wreaths in the front of the house-I estimate them to be at least 50 years old because there are childhood photos of my mom w/ them in the background as tiny little spindly shrubs. Dad transformed them into boxy, flat looking things that never flowered; when we bought the place it was one of the things I vowed to try and restore back into the way Grandpa would have wanted them-big, bushy, and just like fountains of white on Memorial Day weekend. There are lots of things like that around the house-grandma's peonies, a clematis we transplanted and saved from construction-and now it's waiting for a permanent home, the flowering crab trees, and even a few of those damn barn swallows are among the many things that are still present yet bring back instant memories from 20 years ago.

When I was younger I had framed a poem called "Family Ties" and given it to my grandparents as a gift. It hung on the east living room wall-exactly where it hangs today. Only I have a photo of me and my grandpa, and his old milking hat draped on the corner of it. The other day Alex was walking around w/ the trimmers and he headed for the bridal wreaths, I told him how important it was to leave them the way I have them otherwise Grandpa White would be mad-he turned and looked at me and said, "oh, that Grandpa who left his hat at our house?", I said yep-that's the guy with a big smile on my face.

Life's Update

2009-05-17T19:07:00.002-05:00

It's been a few weeks, so I thought I'd take an opportunity to update my blog.

First, thank you for the thoughts on Mag, I'm happy to report that in this past month she has miraculously "stabilized". It was as if the sheer mention of putting her to sleep made her improve overnight. I'm not naive, I know it's not an answer to my prayers or anything, this will be a continual downward slope, but if stabilizing and regaining some coordination prolong that slide, I'll take it.

I've enjoyed a few week hiatus from school, after a pretty grueling 6 week Ethics class. Now onto oral interp, which should be easy-but again it's a 6 week course so it's a lot packed into a little time. I'm fortunate my weekends are slow at work, and they allow me to work on homework during slow times. After that course, I'm tackling an 11 day career dev course, which should be a piece of cake, I think it's just a capstone course to my associate's degree. I'll then enjoy the entire summer off, and then next fall finish up w/ my last 2 courses. . . It was such a relief registering for my final two courses.

Work is 'going', now that I've been into the swing of things for about 3 months-the excitement has worn off, and the reality of this particular job has set in. And that is that this is strictly just a job to me, it offers little fulfillment or satisfaction-but does offer me more time with my kids, decent pay, and benefits. What I'm struggling with is simply not applying myself to my full potential in the IT field, I'm working in the field-but more as a bystander. Weekends are fairly slow, and the work environment is government based; therefore, very political, ie: lots of bitching and backstabbing. Luckily I'm only here for 24 hours a weekend, so it rolls off my shoulders pretty easy. Plus coming from a liberal academic background, that kind of stuff just didn't really happen in my previous position (I know, I was lucky!). I knew coming into this position I would probably struggle with this aspect, so it comes as no surprise; I'm just not sure how I want to handle it.

Mother's Day

2009-05-05T12:33:00.002-05:00

My mom had me when she was in her mid 30's, a pretty normal occurence today-but by the standards of that time, she was probably considered "old". I was the youngest of 4 girls, my next sister is 8 years older than me; yet they attest I was not a surprise. So I like to call myself 'my dad's last ditch effort for a boy'. Luckily for him, my sister Sherry is the next best thing:).

Like most mom's of her time, she stayed at home and raised us girls while my dad made a living as an engineer on the railroad, as well as making a pretty decent living of trapping. I remember our garage would be filled from top to bottom with muskrat, and my mom skinned every single one of them with her bare hands. At the time I laughed at her mink coat-little did I know it was such a prized possession; nor did I realize how hard she worked for it!

As my older sisters moved out of the house, mom decided to get a part-time job as a van driver for the county, she went to rural areas and transported elderly. Or as I referred to it at the time the 'tart-cart', yes I realize how politically incorrect that is now. My grandmother and her would work odd days from each other doing the same thing, which enabled me to spend the other half of my time at my grandparents house while she was working.

In my early teens, my parents decided to embark on a new business adventure-meanwhile my father continued to work for the railroad. They built, and managed 3 gas stations along Lake Winnebago's east side. For many reasons it proved to not be a lucrative business for them; however, they remained in the business until I graduated from high school. My mom would get up at 3 a.m. to open the stores, and many times have to close them due to some reason or another. Yet she managed to make it to every single volleyball, basketball, and softball game I ever participated in; along w/ all the usual teenage runnings at that time.

After they sold the stores, my mom decided to apply for a rural mail carrier position in our home town. It was a 9-3 job, which allowed her to interact with many of the people in the community she has grown to know throughout the course of her lifetime. She truly loved this job, and it was wonderful to see her in a job which was so fulfilling.

When Alex was born, my dad had finally reached retirement with the railroad, and because of how railroad pensions are setup-he had also collected one for my mother during those years. So as a stipulation to retirement, she also had to retire whether she was ready for it or not. My parents had spent most of their adult lives as separate entities: dad worked, made money, and then hunted and fished in his spare time. Mom raised the kids, raised the kids, and raised the kids; and in a plea for sanity she took on part-time work. Sadly when my parents reached retirement, they fell into that population who had spent so much time apart-that when they had to, they didn't know how to spend time together.

Luckily for both of them they have 9 grandchildren, and 2 on the way to refocus themselves on. Dad still enjoys his hunting, fishing, and gardening; mom enjoys volunteering, her spirituality, she continues to give herself to all of us girls-and our extended families, and she enjoys going out to Colorado to just get away sometimes. Mom's random acts of kindness:

stopping to wash my windows when I'm gone but she won't make a point to let me know she did it
stopping to sweep the garage, pull weeds; dad stops to take care of the bushes
organizing things within my house when I'm not around-things she knows I just don't make an honest effort to do myself
sometimes I'll come home to some form of dinner in the fridge or in the oven
she is almost always there when I need her to watch the kids in a bind
she's accomodating to whatever is easiest for our life

And these are just a few, and while they may not seem big or come in the form of monetary value-to a mom w/ 2 kids, and one on the way; these things are priceless. I've said it before, her strength comes in her quietness, she doesn't need to tell me the things she's done-because I notice it, and rarely does a day go by that I'm not thanking her or dropping a line telling her how much I appreciate her. I only wish I can give my kids half of what she has given me throughout the short course of my lifetime so far.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there.

Happy Birthday Alex!

2009-04-23T13:41:00.004-05:00

Alex turned 4 yesterday, we celebrated the day by Jason and I helping out at his school. He felt like King for the day in his crown his teacher's had made him, the classing singing "Happy Birthday", and then sharing cake w/ all his classmates. Then we took him for lunch by himself, and back home to get ready for his actual party. He got lots of great gifts, and enjoyed each and every one of them-along w/ yet another piece of cake. My mission was accomplished when he said "Mommy, this was the best birthday ever", right before bed.

It's hard to believe 4 years has passed, so many things have changed since then-homes, jobs, the addition of another baby, and yet another on the way. He's growing into a sufficient little boy, I love looking at the photo albums and past birthday movies to see how he's changed. I am so blessed to have him in my life.

Here's this year's birthday movie:

Life on the inside

2009-04-22T15:22:00.009-05:00

I had my mid-way u/s done a few weeks ago, and life on the inside appears to be going well. Lots of activity, and all the parts appear to be there. And no, nothing was revealed that we didn't want to see.

My due date is set for August 27th, but if it comes early I won't be too heartbroken:).

Alex and Laura got a kick out of the u/s photos, Alex looked at this 3d photo and asked what that was around the baby, food? And he was a little confused at first as to how they got a picture of the baby, I think he thought they took it out and put it back in for that-until I explained they use a computer.

I'm pretty well in line, my bladder/kidney issues seem to have subsided, I've gained 6 lbs so far, and am feeling pretty decent right now. I manage to work out about 3 days a week at the gym, the elliptical is my new friend; and try to get out for a walk most days. I'll give anything for another birth like Laura's, so I'm trying to stay on a similar track as I did in her pg-so far so good.

Technology is a good thing (naturally I'd say that), but the 3d photos are even a little scary to me, in the photo above you get a glimpse at the profile, a foot, and an elbow/arm in the background.

Playing God

2009-04-16T21:55:00.004-05:00

A few months back Mag was diagnosed with something called Wobbler's disease. It's not a well-known disease, but it's prevalant in younger danes and older dobies. The disease affects her spine, and results in loss of coordination of the legs. Her hind legs have been affected for quite some time, but about two weeks ago her front legs began to give way as well. The disease strictly affects the spine; therefore none of her major organs are affected. Essentially she's a normal dog, but if the disease fully progresses she'll be completely incapacitated.

The past two weeks have been rough, she has a hard time manipulating stairs, getting up, and periodically she'll fall down. It's hard to watch her struggle, and I vowed I wouldn't let her get to the point of not walking. We're getting close, the things she enjoys like running in the woods-and just hanging outside with us are becoming challenging.

Naively I hoped she'd just fall asleep, afterall I've already went through the whole put your animal to sleep thing. Life's not that easy though, so we're left to play God and determine when an animals quality of life is no longer worth living. Luckily I've formed a close relationship with my vet throughout the past 9 1/2 years, so she's willing to make one last house call for Mag and I.

Life sucks right now.

Spring photo shoot

2009-04-11T18:12:00.004-05:00

I had a few non-Facebookers request to see the recent photos I took of the kids. Unfortunately the weather hasn't been conducive for photos since x-mas.

Sissy is still sporting her 18 month clothes, and I think it's the first I can honestly say that I've gotten adequate use out of "baby" clothes. Common phrases from her are: no, hello, where are you?-in conjunction w/ holding onto a cell, eat, brother, momma, daddy, maagie, and there are many more but those are the most common. We haven't even started potty training yet, I'm not in a hurry just as it did w/ Alex-it will happen when it happens. In the next few months we may try out a big girl bed, just to see how it goes.

Alex enjoyed his spring break this past week, we didn't do anything particular-but he enjoyed coloring eggs, going to the park, enjoyed some birthday cake and a party for his cousin and grandpa, helped grandpa down in the woods, ate at Gillie's for the first time, and had a sleepover at Scott and Sherry's. Proof you don't have to spend money to have a good time:). Common phrases from him: you know, proceeded by some fact of what he probably did in the past week; momma I have a belly ache, but he could mysteriously still find room for candy, gum, or ice cream; there's no such thing as monsters, right mom?; and he continues to tell me how much he loves me-typically followed by some form of a request:). That's o.k., I'll take it while I can.

Little Miss Sunshine

2009-03-22T17:33:00.000-05:00

The past few weeks I have finally gotten into a weekly "routine", or I should say that I've adapted to my weekend routine-and not having one during the week. Work is going well, I feel comfortable in my position more and more every weekend. Due to the sensitivity of the information-I won't be on my own for another 3-4 months, which is perfectly fine with me.

After almost 4 years of having to wake, get myself ready, and another 1 or 2 beings out the door by 7:30; it's such a welcome to ease myself and the kids into the day. And yes, there are some days when Alex doesn't have school, that we don't get out of our pj's til late afternoon. Laura, sometimes doesn't at all-and I'm perfectly alright with that. I bought Laura some Hello Kitty underwear, so when the time comes-she might find them interesting. Well she pulled a pair out last week and wanted to wear them, over her pj's. She left them on literally all day, and just before Jason walked through the door she sported a headband in her wild, uncombed hair. Let's just say it reminded me of the movie Little Miss Sunshine. Jason found her quite entertaining-and she didn't have a clue how crazy she looked. My only regret was that I didn't capture the moment!

Laura's vocabulary is evolving everyday, and I had to laugh the other day when my mom described her as "fiesty" after much hesitation. I hate comparing my kids-or any kids for that matter, I think they lose their individuality when they're constantly compared to their brother, sister, etc. But I love how different Alex and Laura's personalities are, Alex is generally pretty quiet, reserved, and goes with the flow. Laura is the one to voice her opinion in most things (even if we don't know what she is saying), she communicates with either a no-or an attempt to hit her brother. If you don't tell her what she wants to hear, it usually involves her throwing whatever it might be that she has in her hand-including her dinner. The only thing I don't like is that she's to the stage where she picks up on everything her brother does, and coming into 4-he's not exactly at a "lovable" stage. It was quite comical though the other day when we left the children's museum, Alex was throwing a tantrum-I used my "one, two" tactic and he promptly got up and followed me. Well that night Alex was being yelled at for something else, and Laura promptly walked up to him and said "one, two". Needless to say Alex didn't like it too much when she gave him a taste of his own medicine that is telling her what to do-I often have to remind him that he is her brother, not her mom.

So life as a sahm on the weekdays is going well; it's even better when you don't know what each day is going to bring w/ your kids.

Almost to the 1/2 way point

2009-03-21T19:58:00.002-05:00

Due to the job change, trip to Colorado, and what I refer to as "medical drama" (meaning myself this time)I honestly haven't had a lot of time to think about the pregnancy. For the past 3 months I've been plagued by a nasty bladder/kidney infection that took a while to get rid of. I'm not a stranger to them in pregnancy, but damn-this last one was "bad" in the words of my midwife. There's really no way to describe how I've felt other than uncomfortable, and I can't really pair my intense nausea w/ the pg or the infection. It has consumed me to the point where I haven't had a lot of energy to think about anything other than what's on my plate for the day. I just recently got a good report back, and now I just keep my fingers crossed that we can keep them away from here on out-or at least catch them early. I know I'm feeling better though cause I finally got the ambition to walk 3 miles, and go workout the other day. I'm slowly building myself back up-cause I had been working out pretty regularly until the 6 week marker when it all just seemed to hit me.

Most people that know me, know I'm not one to share information-unless you ask. I don't like to whine when I'm not feeling well, and I don't like to talk to people about things they may not really care about. So don't take my not talking about the pg as not caring; I just prefer to keep things to myself unless people feel inclined to ask.

I've felt the baby move, yes the joys of having multiple pg's gives me that liberty of knowing those feelings early on. It's exciting to know these will be the last baby kicks I'll ever feel again.

We have our ultrasound in 3 weeks, no we won't find out what we're having; we found out w/ Alex mostly by Jason's choice and not w/ Laura by my choice-we both preferred the surprise. Everyone asks "what we want?", um a healthy baby is all we're really looking for.

Do we have a name picked out? A few, but we typically don't share that info until the baby is born. I don't know, call it superstitious-or boring, but there are few things in life that only 1 or 2 people know-Jason and I cherish the months leading up to the birth, and what is all unveiled that day.

Been awhile

2009-03-21T17:07:00.005-05:00

Well it's been almost a month, so I felt like I should get back on here and give an update. The past few weeks have been filled with a lot of medical turmoil, I'm not really one that likes drama to begin with-so the past few weeks have been a hell ride for me. My oldest sister went in for what was supposed to be a routine cardiac cath, and the end result was that the dr. performing the cath perforated one of her arteries. The perforation caused clotting, and the release of enzymes from the tear which in turn resulted in a heart attack during the procedure. Once that was under wraps, they put 3 stents into her right coronary artery. The worst part, we learned what all happened a week later-at a different hospital, when a 2nd cath was performed. Little did the initial doctor realize, one of my other sister's is a nuclear med tech in a heart center out in Colorado-we knew very early that his description of what happened during the procedure wasn't exactly accurate-too many things weren't adding up. Because of that, it was no surprise to many of us that we had to admit her a 2nd time (yes, at a different hospital) and we were on pins and needles as to the damage that might have been caused. The good news is the 2nd cath showed blood flow was good in the right coronary artery, it also showed the perforation had begun to heal. And while it will take a while for it to heal, she is expected to make a full cardiac recovery.

She had surgery this morning, a week and a half later to remove a hematoma from her groin area, which was a result of the stint (which the cath is inserted) being removed improperly during the initial procedure. The surgery went well, and we are all hoping Sherry will have a nice hiatus from dr.'s and hospitals for a very long time.

It's moments like these, where you receive a phone call and have to listen to your own mother cry on the other end that makes you realize how hard life can be sometimes. Sherry endured the worst of it all, and will only come out a stronger person because of it; but I still went to bed every night with a deeper appreciation for my own family. Life is short, you don't realize it til it's too late-if you haven't hugged your sister, mom or dad lately-do so the next time you see them.

Weekend Getaway

2009-02-25T12:15:00.002-06:00

I pretty much jumped right into my new position w/ no time off; I opted to reap the benefits of a few larger fulltime checks-paired w/ my large bank of vacation time left from RC. But my new schedule gave Alex and I an opportunity to take an extended weekend trip out to Colorado.

Alex is to the age where if you tell him you're doing something exciting, he'll ask about it continuously until we do it; so I opted to not tell him what we were doing until the Thursday before we left. We flew out Friday night after work, and it was nice that the Mischo's booked a hotel in Denver so we didn't have to hop in the car for another hour. We got up and enjoyed the pool, then headed to the Denver aquarium. After that we headed to our destination near Fort Collins. The weather was 55-70 while we were there, so a very nice change of pace. The kids were able to play outside, and just enjoy the fresh air. We visited a few places while we were there, but Alex preferred to just stay at Fritz'ies and play which was perfectly fine for all of us.

I was really just looking for an excuse to go out and see my sister and her family for a few days, and Alex loves to play with Ari and Maddie; which was exactly what we did. Thanks again for the great hospitality Mischo's, hopefully see you and new baby Mischo in the spring!

A New Adventure

2009-02-25T11:58:00.002-06:00

I've had a number of people ask me how my first week at my new job went, so I thought instead of replying to each and every inquiry I'd post on here. So far the first week has left me feeling excited, and that's really the only adjective I can come up with at this point.

All of the people I've met so far have been friendly and helpful, they've created my training schedule so that I get a very clear understanding of the infrastructure that goes behind the particular network I'm responsible for supporting. I relayed my appreciation to my new boss about how great the informational sessions have been from the different departments-and while I hate to compare old jobs, this is definitely an aspect where in the past if I wanted information-I had to ask. My bosses response was that "we want people to succeed here, and giving them a complete understanding of as much as we can is a large part of that".

I've also been asked, what exactly do you do? All law enforcement officials throughout the state access a proprietary software to the state of WI managed by the Crime Infomation Bureau (CIB). This software allows them to query multiple databases for whatever information it might be that they are searching: federal, CIB, DNR, DOT, information from other states, and a few others. It's my job to make sure that the network for these databases is up and running properly. I also help law enforcement officials if they are having issues w/ the software itself; and one of the other pertinent jobs is posting APB's (all points bulletins) to law enforcement throughout the state when necessary. Other duties include ensuring backups are scheduled and running properly, and filling in as a call center for the state crime lab during the weekend.

Lots of exciting stuff, and as I said-the fact that they've done a wonderful job training so far only helps my competency in the position. In an effort to get a jump start on training, I worked all last week on days, and will this Thurs and Fri as well; then I'll begin my weekend shifts.

18 months and counting

2009-02-05T14:12:00.006-06:00

Today Laura had her 18 month check-up, she weighed in at 23 lbs, and 31 1/2 inches long. She is a peanut, her weight hasn't changed for the last couple months; but that's fine considering their activity level usually ups and their appetite (or time for dinner, that is) decreases. The "thunder thighs" Jason used to refer to have wittled down and her waist is tiny.

I can assure you that what's lacking in the waistline is made up in her personality, and attitude. She's emerging into her own, and it is so fun to see the new words, expressions, and attitude that is "Sissy". She's transformed from wanting to have and do everything that her brother does, into a more independent person that likes to do things her own way. She's a tuffy, if she doesn't get things her way she tends to react aggressively: throws something, she'll take a peck at her brother when nobody's looking, and occassionally she'll throw herself on the floor for a little tantrum. Since Alex never really did the tantrum thing, it's pretty comical for us. And at the ripe age of 18 months she takes a time out with the best of them, she'll sit on the bottom step-periodically she'll be reminded to sit up instead of slouch, but she sits pretty still with a dirty little look on her face trying to suck you into eye contact w/ her-just so you can see her face-that was the moment I knew boys and girls were different. She's right on target in all other areas, next task: potty training in the upcoming months.

Alex is moving right along as well, he really likes school and his favorite past time is wrestling with his dad at night. Some mornings he'll ask on the way to school "Mom, can me and dad wrestle tonight?" He's become quite the negotiater the past few months, he tries to sell the idea that if he does just a little of this, he can have a lot of that. Dinners are a struggle for him, often he's not hungry, then throw into consideration that he's picky and we have a given argument. His favorite line is "My mom lets me do this or that"; he's typically talking to Jason when he says this. I notice his coordination and manual dexterity skills have grown over the past couple months, sometimes I catch myself watching him fall from a taller area-when he's actually jumping off and landing perfectly fine. And the best is that I've grown an extra set of eyes, he watches out for Laura and alerts me to hazardous situations; and in the same sense he tells me when she's been naughty and how the adults around her have handled it in my absence.

Alex is excited at the news of a new sibling, he understands the concept pretty well-many times he looks for reassurance and says, "it takes a long time for a baby to grown in your belly right?" At first he was under the impression that it would automatically be a little sister, since that's all he knows. But then when I mentioned-"or a brother" his eyes got pretty big and he said "maybe a brother and a sister"; I assured him it was one or the other-there weren't 2 in there. Laura is too young-there will be a similar age difference as her and Alex-so she'll be young enough to have some animosity those first couple days; but she'll probably get over it pretty quickly and just adjust to the idea that it's one more playmate in the house. Alex adjusted really well at that age, but their personalities are different-I'm guessing she'll give us a little more run for our money, but nothing we can't handle.

Plans Change Part II

2009-01-28T15:38:00.001-06:00

I have some wonderful news to share.

Jason and I are expecting our 3rd child. Today's dr. appointment complete with a healthy heartbeat assured us that it is the perfect time to share our wonderful news. Jason and I couldn't be happier, we prefer the fact that our children are spaced a little over 2 years apart (anyone with significantly older or younger siblings will resoundingly agree just based off of personal experience:)); and look forward to just focusing on our children and this final pregnancy. To know that those are the only things we have to "worry" about at this point in our lives gives us a sense of happiness and calm you can't describe.

On the heels of that, I've recently accepted a senior network analyst position within the IS dept of the state Department of Justice. It is a weekend only position which allows me to spend more time with my children which is something I have wanted for quite some time. The perfect opportunity presented itself in this position as the financial tradeoff was next to none-so tell me, if you could get paid what you do now for working 20 less hours, plus better benefits, and get the liberty of raising your children instead of relying on daycare-would you? You wouldn't believe the reluctance and negative tone I was met with when contemplating this no brainer; so the last few weeks of contemplation and interviews were shared with a few close confidants and those who supported me most. I will complete a full week of training and then jump aboard the weekend shift comprised of working late Sat and Sun afternoon into early morning hours the following day. My weekend won't be shot, and anyone with young children doesn't exactly have a "social life" anyways, the trade off was far worth it. It will take some adjusting, but we will be just fine. And yes, as of the 2nd interview they were aware I'm expecting; it's reassuring to know some companies don't hold a gender barrier and are looking for the most qualified candidate. In fact, I was the first of 3 candidates, and got first choice of my shift. I'm elated at this news, I've waited a long time for this opportunity to present itself so that I could achieve my own goals and do so in a manner that wouldn't upheave our life. This job gives me an opportunity to continue my skills and education in the IT field, while keeping my foot in the door for when my children grow up and I'm ready to return to the fulltime working world.

A short while ago I posted about plans changing, the last paragraph left way to however my cards would fall. The scene was set with a phone interview for a part-time position; however, a few things had to fall into place such as refinancing our mortgage, and the perfect job had to present itself. Another scene layered under that was Jason and I's attempt to have our 3rd and final baby; the thought of a winter baby wasn't appealing to me, so that last window of opportunity came right around the time I tested for the open position.

End result in chronological order:

test for IS position within the state
result scored well enough to land a phone interview
refinance home at record low rate
phone interview
positive pregnancy test
2nd interview
3rd interview
job offer

I was surprised with the reactions for both sets of news, to which I couldn't make any sense-these are both wonderful things, yet I was crassly referred to as being knocked up, and I think some people thought that once I was pregnant I had dismissed the job opportunity. Regardless, Jason and I are very happy with both end results; so plans have indeed changed once again. I won't be competing in that 1/2; but the reasons are worth their weight in gold. I'm glad I left the rest in someone else's hands, I couldn't have came up with a better end result myself.

Happy Birthday Mom

2009-01-14T12:36:00.000-06:00

We recently celebrated my mom's birthday, so as a gift I sought tickets to the Oprah show. She's been a long time fan of O, and has attended a few other shows as well; but regardless whether you like the woman or not it's still great fun just to go and experience the excitement of a live show. Last week I received a phone call from Oprah studios asking if we would be available to attend 2 screenings the night prior to taping, at the time all they told me was that Kate Winslet was in the movies, and that she would be in studio. Typcially the subject is TBA to the audience, so it was exciting to have an inkling of what was to come.

We arrived in Chicago late Monday afternoon and headed straight to the theatre. It was then we found out we were watching Revolutionary Road and The Reader; Kate had just won a Golden Globe for each of them Sunday night. She acted wonderfully in both films, so obviously they were well deserved awards; however it's been a long, and I stress a long time since my mom has been to the movie theatre to watch a movie; muchless two very sexually charged movies. The plots were interesting, if somebody asked me if I liked one over the other-or liked them at all my response would be that they were very different movies. The plots were not real typical, although both movies held your attention throughout.

After 5 hours in the theatre we headed back to the hotel, my mom didn't even know who Kate was to begin with so the entire night was a mystery to her; she didn't have much of a response to the movies either; however, it was quite priceless when we got back to the hotel and she says "Well I do know that I saw more sex in those two movies, than I have in the last 20 years". I laugh just thinking about those words coming out of my mom's mouth.

The next morning we arrived at the studio; Kate was in studio as promised and Leonardo DiCaprio, Meryl Streep, Micky Rourke, and Ron Howard were on Skype thoughout the show. It was a live broadcast so we didn't even get home in time to see it-but it was more fun just to be there for it. We hit MI Avenue afterwards, but it was so bitter and windy down there that we didn't last long. We hit the train out of Union Station back to Milwaukee, and headed home after a fun, and memorable 2 day getaway.

Anyone that knows me, knows that my mom plays a very large roll in my life. She's the only person I'll bare my soul to, the good, bad and ugly and know that she'll still love me no matter what. While I said that you don't truly appreciate your parents until you are a parent back in my Father's Day post, I can honestly say that I have always appreciated the person my mom has been even at a young age, she has taught me so much about life just through leading by example. She's weathered a lot through her life, but at no time will you see her gloating about the woes and highs she experienced, it's through her quietness that I've learned what is important in life. Your an amazing woman mom: I love you, and happy birthday!

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T12:04:00.000-06:00

2008 was a pretty remarkable year for us, but most notably it was a year where our lives could return to some sense of normalcy after the house project. We could relax after work, go up north over a few weekends in the summer, and just spend time together as a family throughout the holidays and seasons.

The year brought many firsts for Laura: crawling, walking, talking, trip to Colorado, etc. It's obvious in the photos how much Alex has grown in a year: his vocabulary, his ability to negotiate, his ability to work with others, his manual dexterity, and his legs among the many things.

They've grown together as well, together they're forming the sibling relationship: which means Laura does what Alex does; Alex wants what Laura has; much picking, prodding and aggrevating ensues; but at the end of the day all they want is to give each other "moochies" before going to bed.

The photos in the video above are many you've seen before; but it's a brief compilation of noteworthy moments throughout the year.

I wish you and yours a safe and happy 2009.

X-mas cards

2008-12-18T13:34:00.000-06:00

We usually reserve our xmas cards for immediate family and very close friends; therefore, not everybody gets the joy of seeing my kids:). For those that don't, here ya go. The back reads "Wishing everyone a happy and healthy holiday season" Love, Jason & Teri and the kids.

Disclaimer: please don't copy or reuse the photo above. Thanks.

Plans change

2008-12-03T14:51:00.000-06:00

This past Sunday we had a really great sermon at church that pertained to God having a bigger plan for each one of us. Our pastor always does a nice job of integrating the sermon into everyday life, as opposed to the old traditional "preaching" some of us remember in church. There wasn't one person that left the auditorium who couldn't relate to that sermon: you have this grand scheme in your mind of how your life is going to go, and within seconds it is changed drastically.

Alex proved to be what I hope is just one of many of my "changed plans". Rewind to 4 years ago: I had been offered a 911 dispatcher position within a nearby county, I had passed the exam with flying colors, went through psychological testing, and an extensive background check. I was ecstatic when I found out that my underage drinking ticket wouldn't haunt me for life. This was the job of a lifetime, or so it seemed-a new challenge, in something that really interested me, great benefits, early retirement, and more money. I put in my notice to my boss, and came home and celebrated over my new job. That is until a few days later when something didn't seem just right for me-a pregnancy test revealed what I felt was one of my biggest fears, and I cried. My mom and co-worker convinced me that "you should be happy-not crying". It wasn't so much the thought of having a child that upset me, as it was the timing. I felt safe at RC it was a job more conducive to raising a family instead of a 3rd shift dispatcher position. It was at that point that I took my pregnancy as a sign that I needed to stay where I was at. So I did the unthinkable: I called my boss at home, explained the situation, and he happily accepted me back. Fast forward to today: another beautiful child, 2 promotions, and 4 classes away from graduating-I'm pretty sure I'm living proof that somebody else has bigger plans.

It seemed like that sermon couldn't have come at a better time for me; I've been struggling with personal decisions regarding my career, spending more time with my children, and taking some time to work on myself. With my classes wrapping up, I only have 4 more til graduation-spread out over the course of the next year (my last class is only offered in the Fall, and my course load was heavy enough this year) things will seem lax compared to the past 3 years. This past week something sparked me to begin training for a 1/2 marathon, with less time devoted to school I should have the time necessary to train and compete in the Green Bay 1/2 marathon. It's been over 5 years since my last 1/2, so I'm ready to get back into some routine and utilize this time as "working on myself". So I'm tackling 1/3 of my plan; I'll leave the rest in someone else's hands.

Give Thanks

2008-11-26T12:48:00.000-06:00

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season just around the corner, I thought I'd take a minute to wish everyone a Happy Thankgiving. Take some time to reflect on all the things in life you have to be thankful for: family, friends, health, and happiness. (oh, and wonderful 3 year old artwork:))

Let her eat cake

2008-11-14T08:42:00.001-06:00

Miss Mag turned 9 in October, and naturally I thought she was blog worthy. After all, she has been with me through some of the most monumental times in my life: getting married, 2 pregnancies, 2 children, 3 homes, 2 makeshift homes, and all of the "in between" of the past 9 years. Yes, she has truly proven to be a loyal and wonderful companion despite the overshadowing that happens when human children come into your life.

She's come a long way from her puppy mill in Poy Sippi, WI. Many people know I hold her with close regard (probably closer than necessary), she enjoys the luxuries most dogs wouldn't dream of: sleeping in a king size bed, while overcrowding Jason's side (remember the horse in the bed scene from Airplane, that would be Mag at about 6 a.m.); sleeping on a warm comfy couch the entire day; toddler table scraps on a daily basis; off leash runs in a squirrel filled forest; pretty much free reign of the house and 5 acres, and a reliable and lovable 2nd home in "grandma Bonnie and Jim" (mind you neither are proclaimed "dog people", but they treat her as if she were their own).

Mag came into my life when I was 20 years old; Jason and I were just about to purchase our first home and I thought it was only fitting to get a dog. Much like athletics were to me in high school; Mag was a responsibility that probably kept me out of trouble. She was a reason to go home after work; a reason to get out for a walk or run; a reason to think about most things I did-before I acted (much like a child is to me now). While it seemed like more responsibility to take on at such a carefree point in my life, I don't regret it one bit.

Mag and Rip in true form:)

Her life catapulted with the addition of two children; it hit her ego hard but she has found "her place" in the family. She realizes it comes with pokes and proddes from toddlers, free handouts (or take outs) from small hands, some days she might not get breakfast, or her water sits for more than 12 hours, but she's o.k. with that. Just so long as she gets to velcro up to Jason or I for a few minutes after the kids go to bed, are all that really matter to her now.

The bond between a pet and their owner is something you can't really describe unless you experience it yourself; while her luxuries seem overkill she was accustomed to many of them long before kids came along-and as long as the children are safe and happy in the present; I figure it's a small price to pay for the short duration she will be in my life; and the amount of companionship she has given while in it. Happy Birthday lady.

Happy Halloween

2008-11-03T08:24:00.000-06:00

Halloween is officially over, and as you can see by the photo-the kids really enjoyed it.

Alex had a Halloween party at school last week, which they practiced their trick or treating skills out before the big day.

Laura probably had just as much fun because she had a big brother to show her the ropes at a young age. She played the part, by the second house I think she was an old pro:).

More photos can be found at: http://picasaweb.google.com/dobiluvr/Halloween#.

Life as a single mom

2008-10-23T12:48:00.000-05:00

Single mom's are the most amazing women on this earth.

I've thought this well before I've ever had to partake in single parent child-rearing for 10 days; but I had to put those words down to let all those women (and you know who you are) know how much I greatly admire them.

Jason headed out to Colorado last week on a hunting trip with my brother-in-law and two nephews. I think it is actually the longest Jason and I have probably been away from each other, let alone him being away from the kids for an extended period of time. I laugh at how when people ask me if I missed him, my response directly goes to-"the kids did".

I managed well while he was gone; I will never proclaim to be that "supermom" who feels the need to be with her kids 100% of the time. Nor do I have the patience of a saint; that's where Jason comes into the parenting picture (o.k., I guess that's not his only contribution):). He's an amazing father-and we rely on each other in different parenting aspects which is why we both love raising our kids together. The help I received while Jason was gone was much appreciated, and much welcomed as a break for me; whether I was working or at school it's still a mental break from child-rearing 24-7.

He's had this trip planned for quite some time which in turn had given me some planning time of my own: once my in-laws agreed to watch the kids for a weekend, I took the opportunity to go visit an old friend I went to college with. The weekend was cut short by a 20-50 page research paper due in my IT Admin course; nonetheless, I had a wonderful time catching up with my friend for the short while I was there.

Melissa is a single mom of a 3 year old, she's a faculty member of her alma mater in the Physical Education department; she specializes in Pedigogy which I believe involves defining curriculum and giving future teachers the real tools they need to go out into the teaching world. She managed to earn her Masters in the foothills of the Wyoming mountains, while spearheading some amazing educational and extra-curricular programs into the Indian Reservation school she taught on out there-and continues to teach online. She did all this while being pregnant, giving birth to, and raising her little girl; some will say it was a choice she made (to become pregnant)-but she'll be the first to point out that she has beaten the statistics given her situation. She hopes to continue to eventually earn a PhD, I assumed it was so she had one more thing to add to her Vita but she'll tell you "it's just so I can be called Dr. Sprain".

While all these benchmark achievements are amazing, it's her love for life and how she continually educates those around her that make her remarkable. There is not one conversation I have with her, that I don't walk away with a greater understanding for another person's point of view-and not just an opinion, a validated point of view that makes me realize how fortunate I am in many senses. Relationships, politics, children; those are just the many areas she has either supported me when needed; or proved to be devil's advocate to bring me back down to reality-which the reality is that I am so blessed for all that I have. God dealt me a pretty good hand in comparison to her, and look at the lemonade she made with her lemons.

Thank you Melissa for being such an amazing friend, while it was a short stint for me at UW-LaCrosse, all things happen for a reason; and that reason for me-was you.

Old Friends

2008-10-10T11:14:00.000-05:00

Last week we organized a meet up of a bunch of friends from high school, not everybody could make it-but those that did had a really great time. It's hard to describe high school friends, as you leave high school and move out into the "real" world you in a sense move on from those friends. You acquire friendships based on where you are at in that point of your life: single and living it up, married w/ out kids, or married w/ children. What you don't realize is that you never really move on from those friends; it is actually one of the few constants in your life-you know that those friends you had way back when-are exactly the same as you remember them, and the only thing you have to talk about are all those careless but wonderful things you did as a teenager going into adulthood. For a few short hours you let go of the worries of today, and just remember a "simpler" time and enjoy each other's company. And realize that while we all change, our circumstances change, outlooks change, we are essentially the same person we've always been deep down.

Just including the girls above, we have 17 children and are expecting 2 more-it's crazy to think how all our lives have changed in just 10 short years!

Fall is here

2008-10-09T16:38:00.001-05:00

Here's Alex modeling one of his best pieces of artwork yet. He's officially completed a month of school, and he loves it. His teachers say his "strengths" are coming to cuddle with them every once in a while, and that he's adapted to preschool extremely well. His weakness, he's having a hard time not interrupting when he has something to say (not really a surprise considering he's 3), so we'll work on that one.

We've already made our annual trip to Little Farmer, which the kids had a great time seeing the animals, pumpkins, going on the hayride, and best of all-the carmel apples. Hard to believe Fall is here, but earlier nightfall and brisk yet warmer temps are a good sign. I'm looking forward to Halloween this year cause Alex will be more into it, and Laura will be able to participate as well.

Sissy is also catching a few milestones, more and more teeth are popping through. And I decided to cut her bangs a little, hey I know how much a ponytail hurts my head all day-I couldn't imagine how it felt on her little head. So we can still get it in a pony, or leave it down and it's not drowning in her eyes. Here's my little multitasker: purses and loaders. . . . A girl's dream, right?!

Family ties

2008-09-24T10:21:00.000-05:00

My sister Fritz and her family decided to come home last minute last weekend. You know, because everybody decides to make a 16 hour drive from Colorado for only a matter of a few days at the drop of a hat-well, most people don't know Fritz. We were blessed with the news that the Mischo's are expecting a new baby in their household, so we're all glad they were able to tell us that in person.

Alex loves playing with his cousin Ari, and he frequently talks about "Fritzie" and going to "paint in her basement, or fish in the pond next to her house". I'm amazed at how much he remembers, and to know that he holds onto those fond memories. So when we see each other-no matter the distance, it's like picking up right where we left off.

Ari did a little equestrian training w/ her little cousin Laura over the weekend too, she was finally able to break Laura of the habit of grabbing a toy, sliding it along the floor, and saying vroom vroom. Needless to say, a little feminine intervention w/ regards to playing was needed:). Instead she grabs a horse, or a tractor, jumps it a litte and says "neehaa". Thanks Ar!

My parents have photos of all the grandkids on their wall at home-most are professional pics taken at some time or another. But they haven't had a photo of all the kids together since Linds was 5, Jim 3 and Jake 1. So it was time to try and get them together for a family photo-it's amazing to see how much the family has grown in such a "short" time.

Stop the insanity!

2008-09-24T10:10:00.001-05:00

Work has been insane, literally insane with running from one place to the next. My co-worker recently had carpal tunnel surgery, she was already well-overloaded prior to that, but her load backed up even further after surgery. In an effort to lessen her load, I've taken on more of the faculty issues, as well as smart classroom issues here and there. In addition to my responsibilities, and helping her out-I'm barely getting my head above water.

We have over 650 computers on campus; we have over 30 "smart" classrooms equipped with projector, elmo, dvd, and sound system; over 100 printers on campus, and just under 10 labs to maintain. Most are thinking, what's the big deal-it's a college, that sounds about right. Well I forgot to mention that there are 2 people supporting end users in all of this equipment. Our ITS staff is equipped w/ a director, network admin, webmaster, administrative computing coordinator, and then there's Tammy and I. It doesn't even pay to list our titles, as we don't specialize in any one area or thing anymore-at this point a good title would be "IT multitasker", and punching bag for when faculty and administration are having a bad "technical" day.

We're busting at the seams at RC, and while growth is always good-so isn't a level of quality in the service we provide. There, vent over. . . .

The simple things-Part II (for the love of music)

2008-09-10T13:40:00.000-05:00

So a few months have went by since Part I, and it's amazing how far Alex has come in communicating. Some good, some not so good:). He has really taken an interest in music anytime we're in the vehicle-and I'm amazed at how much he takes in.

Background info: I listen to a variety of music.

Alex: Mommy, me want to listen to "country boy"
Teri: proceeds to turn that song on
Laura: starts clapping and bobbing her head
Alex: bobs his head as well, then after the song completes he follows with a few questions: Mommy, me am a country boy?
Teri: Yes
Alex: sissy a country girl?
Teri: Yes
Alex: Dad is a country dad, and you a country lady?
Teri: laugh, Yes

We were in the middle of listening to "Sunshine on my shoulders" and
Alex belted out: "Sunshine on the water, looks so lovely"
Teri: was speechless, and laughing

Another song he sings is Jackson by Johnny Cash-the best part is that he says the first part of Jackson w/ emphasis and in as deep of a voice as he can, just like Johnny does.

Then you can imagine the confusion when he asks who sings all of those songs-but only after a few explanations, he can tell you which song Johnny sings; and those that John sings.

The first chorus of Pink's "So What" comes on (I told you it was a variety)
Alex: starts rocking back and forth
Laura: follows Alex's lead
Alex: waits til the appropriate time and says "we're all gonna get in a fight"
After he sings the verse, he proceeds to explain that they're just pretending to get in a fight-and Pink's just singing that because she's frustrated-it was then I realized he does actually listen to what I say:)

Onto non-music related things and the not so good things. . . .

Anytime Alex is doing something he's not supposed to:
Alex: Aw Mommy, I love you baby
(like how that one has changed?!)

Everyone and their brother is "dude", and he now refers to Sissy as dude-popper. Whatever that means. Since school has started he's gotten better w/ this.

And we're human, and I'll be the first to admit my language is anything but pretty so he's picked up on even worse terms: shit and dammit.

As in "mom, look at all the garbage and shit in that shed!" Um, at least he used it in the right context.

As in "dammit sissy". I don't think that's the last I'll be hearing that one, lol.

The simple things are no longer simple. . .

50 Tid Bits

2008-09-01T11:32:00.000-05:00

It's Labor Day, and I'm at work-students and faculty are relatively quiet; so I decided to comprise a tid bit list.

1. I am 29 years old
2. I love my sleep
3. I can’t believe how beautiful my 2 children are
4. My grandmother and mother are my 2 greatest heroes for very different reasons
5. I am addicted to diet soda
6. I’ve been married 6 years
7. I miss my sister “Fritz”
8. I am the youngest of 4 girls
9. I am called Pete, Teri or Theresa at any given moment
10. I can’t wait to be done with school
11. I wish I didn’t have to work fulltime
12. But, I’m grateful for how accommodating my current job is
13. I used to chew my finger nails
14. I rarely make my bed unless I washed bedding that day
15. I hate my body
16. I don’t like heights or flying
17. I love being in or near the mountains
18. I’ve competed in a few ½ marathons
19. I like my job
20. I love the environment I work in
21. I have 5 nieces and 2 nephews ranging in age 5-17
22. I am quiet
23. I am not afraid to speak my opinion when I feel strongly about something-or am educated in a particular subject
24. I cherish the friends I have, and miss my “old” friends from school
25. I love spring and summer
26. I hate living in WI
27. I love creating potted flowers
28. I love giving and receiving Gerber daisies for no reason at all
29. I am a good listener
30. I am told I am an old soul in a young body
31. I love the smell of fresh air
32. I like to travel
33. I love the thrill of a roller coaster
34. I love watching my children learn new things
35. I love my house: all the memories it holds, and the new one’s we’ll create
36. I love blasting my radio and singing loud when I’m by myself
37. I love spending time with my family
38. I wish I could get back in shape
39. I have brown eyes
40. I have brown hair
41. I love taking pictures
42. I like how organized my office is
43. I hate how unorganized my house is
44. I love walking my dog by myself
45. I love mowing the lawn
46. I love sunshine
47. I love the motivation music can bring and
48. I love a well written song
49. I love waking every morning knowing something great is going to happen today-whether big or small
50. I am blessed

Menominee Park-Oshkosh's best kept secret

2008-08-25T09:54:00.000-05:00

Last summer I spent a lot of time at Menominee Park with Alex (and Laura in the carrier) since we had minimal yard space at the rental and nothing to do inside, so I often looked for other places to go. Surprisingly this past weekend was the first time I had made it back since last summer. Saturday we packed a picnic and headed up there for lunch, afterwards the kids went for a ride on the merry-go-round . Alex would return for one more ride before we left, but honestly I think he spent more time trying to figure out how exactly it worked . They also have a small train that makes a loop around a pond, so we all went for a ride on that .

Afterwards we headed over to their amazing playset which is called "Little Oshkosh", it is very unique in that it is HUGE-and also many of the structures mirror Oskhosh landmarks, and company's such as EAA (wooden airplane), Oshkosh truck (military vehicles), even a landmark church in town on Oregon Street. There are activities for children of all ages, and it truly is not something you see everyday (sorry no photo of it's entirety, since it is so large we both had to keep an eye on "our" kid to make sure nobody got lost).

We stopped and grabbed a snack, and then quickly walked through the zoo, which is a zoo on a small scale but perfect for young children-the kids were getting tired, and it was warmer than we anticipated.

For smaller children, this is a wonderful place to go for a few hours in the day-there are so many things for them to see and do, and the best part is that aside from the rides-it's FREE! So many people I've ran into have never even heard of this park, so that's why I've deemed it "a best kept secret".

Is there a Dr. in the house?

2008-08-25T09:39:00.000-05:00

Alright, so I'm not really looking for a dr. but I couldn't resist this photo op. Last weekend Alex got a new movie, so naturally Laura needed something as well. We came across this dr. set which included a pager, stethescope, thermometer, and medicine dispenser/shot and since it came complete with a little bag (similar to a purse)-which Laura apparently has some kind of fettish with, we thought it was perfect.

They both enjoyed it, and as you can see-they decided to not let Mag out on the fun. Surprisingly she played right along.

I suppose I need some sort of disclaimer: the children and Mag were supervised the entire time, and no-I don't normally allow my children to use Mag at their dispense. It was funny while it lasted though.

Last Hurrah

2008-08-19T11:23:00.000-05:00

This past weekend we kind of had a Wuest family Summer 08 last hurrah with a trip up north. Our real intention of going up was for Jason to put together a play set, but the weather was beautiful so we got a chance to enjoy some sun and swimming. Words can't describe how excited Alex was to jump off the pier and have his dad all to himself, but these pictures might help:

Laura hasn't really developed much of a love for the water, but she can still give me a nice pose:

Lastly, the weekend ended with a little excitement for us. We gave Alex a Gator for his 2nd birthday, it is one of his prized possessions and one of the few toys we can probably say we've gotten our money's worth. Jason has helped him deck it out w/ conveyor belts on the back wheels to help w/ traction, and an empty peanut butter jar screwed to the front counsel-to act as his cup holder. A day doesn't go by that he isn't on that thing, if only for a few minutes; he's even to the point where he enjoys taking his sister for rides. Well you can imagine my horror while driving southbound on Hwy 51, Jason's tailgate falls open, and the gator falls out at about 75 mph-luckily nobody was behind us, and it went directly into the center median. We pulled off to the right to collect a few other Tonka trucks that fell out while we were slowing down, and just about then Alex was waking from a nice nap. I could tell by the tone in Jason's voice that for a split second, he contemplated just leaving the gator behind-until a little voice said "what doing?". We quickly responded that we were going to get his gator, just then we saw a police car in the northbound lane but didn't think much of it.
So we turned around at our first opportunity, and it didn't take long to notice the police lights flashing and car pulled into the center median in the southbound lane-Jason and I immediately thought that we caused some kind of accident. In the 3 minutes it took us to come back to it, someone has pulled over and contemplated taking it! Luckily the police officer had noticed we were slowed down on the other side, and told the people that they had to wait and see if someone came back for it. It was Alex's source of conversation the entire way home-things like "dad not letting guy take gator, police lady told that man he couldn't have my gator, and wheels broke off" were just a few of the things that came to Alex's mind.
The gator was actually in fine shape-has a few more scuffs to add to it's collection and it needed a small alignment, but it's back in working order. The things we do for our kids:).

Misc

2008-08-11T10:46:00.000-05:00

We'll title this post Misc because it will be brief, and probably about no one thing imparticular.

Summer is slowly winding down, RC students start class August 27th and students are already starting to come back. Where did the summer go?! I'm slowly pecking at computers getting deployed, and enjoying the fact I'm on no time constraints this summer.

Laura had her 1 year check-up, she weighed in at 22 lbs, and 29 1/4 inches long. Most people don't have a baseline for what that means, but contrary to what her father says about her thighs-she's kind of a peanut. Our only basis, Alex was 25 lbs, 30" when he was the same age-so he was a little chunk, which you'd never believe looking at him now.

Despite being fairly little, she has an amazingly healthy appetite-and I mean healthy literally. She loves most anything healthy, but she loves her veggies.
Here you can see her enjoying a fresh cucumber out of Grandpa's garden.

Aside from her body growing, Laura's hair is growing like a weed-just as her brother, she was blessed with two sets of genes for a very full head of hair. We're starting to reap the benefits of that now, and as you can see it sometimes gets the best of her: . Jason keeps saying she needs her hair cut, and I assured him that girls don't get haircuts this young-she's "growing her bangs out". Which he had no clue, but I told him soon enough he would learn what a french braid is, and even worse-he will probably know how to put one in within the next few years:).

Alex received his school supply list which was exciting and a little sad for me, hard to believe he'll be starting school in less than a month. I'm very fortunate my boss has let me set my schedule so that I will be able drop him off and pick up everyday, which was important to me.

Jason is coming to the close of his first class, which has went pretty well for him I think. Definitely an eye opener in the sense that he needed to manage his time between work, kids and homework-I'm not sure who was happier when he got his first test back w/ an A on it. I'm sure he was happier, but I was also happy because it was a confidence booster telling him that he could do this.

Alright, back to work. . .

Mission Accomplished

2008-07-29T08:50:00.000-05:00

I believe it was a few months ago I posted summer goals: to get Laura's hair in a ponytail, and teach Alex to swim.

While he might not have learned to swim, I think these photos are a priceless reminder of how innocent childhood is!

Happy Birthday to Sissy, Happy Birthday to Sissy

2008-07-15T11:09:00.000-05:00

Today is officially Laura's 1st birthday-by this time a year ago she had been in the world for approximately 7 hours. All of what has taken place for us in the past year seems surreal between work, the house project, school, and the addition of another child. Laura spent the first 7 months of her life in a tiny rental, and being carted around from rental, to farm, to Grandma Bonnie's, etc. It's almost as if she knew not to make herself mobile until after moved into the farm, so I'm thankful for that.

She's not walking yet, but she's close-takes a few steps here and there, but is still most comfortable sitting on her butt and crawling where she needs to go. Which is perfectly fine, she's still within her developmental milestones and it's much easier just chasing after 1 vs. 2:).

To sum up the year, Laura has been an amazingly easy baby-she slept through the night within the first 2 months and has never really looked back (aside from a few nights here and there). She's had a seemingly healthy year (knock on wood), considering how rough that first year can be when kids are in daycare-literally picking up every virus on the planet. I tried my hand at homemade baby food for her, and it really benefited her w/ regards to variety of healthy foods-and it also helped our pocketbooks. She's easy going, but I can see she's going to be ruling the roost w/ regards to her brother very soon-she's a tad more temperamental than Alex which is quite entertaining listening to them on a car ride to or from work. It usually goes something like this-Alex looks at her and says something, Laura's response in a sassy tone-"AAH", to which Alex response "Sis", and then Laura replies w/ a shrill scream, as if to tell the world that she is the boss. She's the loud mouth making a spectacle when we go for dinner, flirts w/ most people in passing at the store when they comment on her blue eyes, and as long as she's fed, and her diaper's clean-you rarely don't see a smile on this little girl's face. She truly has been a blessing for me this past year. Happy birthday little girl.

I've started to make movies for each of the kid's during their birthday's-they're just choreographed pictures recapping the previous year. Here is Laura's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa_l15OzC2k.

Happy 4th of July

2008-07-09T12:29:00.000-05:00

Due to the house project last summer, we didn't get a whole lot of time for rest or relaxation-with that usually comes going up north for a trip or two. This summer we were determined to get up there at least once each summer month, and this past weekend was it for July. It was nice for Alex to have little one's to play with for a change (aside from sitter kids), they played in the sand, water and lit a few sparklers. Alex and Laura also got to experience their first parade, Alex really enjoyed looking at all the big equipment; Laura, not so much. Her and I found a swing at the local park, and entertained ourself.

It was fun while it lasted, but we were ready to come home Sunday and have a day to ourselves. So much packing and resituating goes into it when you have kids in tow, so it's nice to have that extra day to recoop, do some laundry, and just hang out. We lit a few more fireworks off at home, and we all slept in for a change (that means til 7 a.m. for us) so that's what I consider our holiday:).

In other news, Jason is working on our siding and the house looks beautiful. It's amazing how used to Tyvek a person can get, it's almost as if I forgot what the house could potentially look like. I'm glad I opted to make a few annual baskets-at first I thought, what for-why put beautiful flowers in front of a project. But there's hope it will be done by the end of the summer (maybe the siding by Laura's birthday even!), so I'm glad I have some flowers to dress it up even more.

I'm done with my Economics course, so I can officially relax for a good month and half. Computers will start arriving any day now, so I'll post for Laura's birthday and then I'll probably be MIA for the next month or so.

Hope this finds everyone well!

Father's Day

2008-06-16T10:13:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was Father's Day, so in our household it meant that Jason went fishing and later on we went down to my parent's house for a fish fry. To me Mother and Father's Day are Hallmark holidays and here's why:

I don't think you truely realize how much your own parents ever did for you, until you become a parent yourself. Prior to kids you realize your parents forked over money when you asked (politely), they wondered where you were most nights, every once in a while they expected you to show up at a family gathering here or there, and they were always concerned about your well-being and that's about all you really thought they did. Not until you carry the responsibilities of your own children do your realize that so much more went into being a mother or a father-and you can finally appreciate ALL that your parents have done and continue to do for you. And you learn to appreciate those things on a daily basis, not just one day out of the year.

To me there's really nothing to celebrate, because we "celebrate" almost every day of the year. No gift or monetary value can define Father's Day, just simple acts of kindness, or a thank you where it's warranted are constant reminders of how lucky we are to have children, a father, or grandfather.

The simple things

2008-06-06T14:24:00.000-05:00

There's nothing better than engaging in a conversation with a 3 year old, it reminds you how simple and innocent life can really be. I'm fortunate to have these conversations on a daily basis, here are a few:

Mom (while Alex brushes his teeth): one, two, buckle my shoe. . .

Alex: three, four, pick up stix, seven, eight, pick up stix. . . you get the idea

Mom: what's your name?

Alex: Alex Wuest

Mom: what's sissy's name?

Alex: Sissy Wuest

Mom: basically speaking about any healthy food item

Alex: Alex, no no like (fill in the blank w/ your healthy item)

And my personal favorite. . .

Mom (anytime I'm disciplining): Alex, I'm not going to tell you again

Alex (said in a fake/nice/guilty voice): Aw, mommie I loves you (he's got this one down pat)

Spring Madness

2008-06-02T12:57:00.000-05:00

Instead of March Madness, the only thing I could think for a title this time around was Spring madness. I haven't posted for a few weeks, and in those few weeks I've managed to:

-Complete a summer interim course on Windows Servers in 4 days
-Went "up north" for a weekend
-Met a fellow friend from my Mommy's board in person
-Watched Laura cut her 3rd tooth
-Given Alex numerous timeouts-terrible 3's are hard when they get on a role

Might not seem like a lot, but it's the gist of my life for the last few weeks. Summer is pretty much here, for us it signifies playing outside for as long as we can, watching my niece's and nephew play baseball, swimming, getting up north more, and just enjoying the outdoors in general.

Summertime also means my busiest time at work, right now I'm configuring systems for the upcoming lease, determining needs, meeting technology requests throughout campus, meanwhile figuring out how it will all fit into our "budget". We'll place the equipment orders mid June and then run around w/ chickens with our heads cut off from mid July until classes resume in the Fall. Hopefully things won't be as frantic, as this will be the first lease cycle in the 7 years that I've worked at RC-that we will not be on a tight timeline to return the old systems. Generally we receive new systems, and have a month to refresh, wipe, box and return old systems-this year the lease falls so that we don't have to send the old one's back til December-leaving us some breathing room on the lease end of things, and more time to devote to projects on campus.

I'm only taking one Monday night Economics course this summer, so for the most part-it should be a relaxing summer. My goals for the summer: 1) hopefully Alex will be able to swim by the end of summer, and 2) get Laura's hair in a ponytail-those seem pretty attainable:).

A day in the life. . .

2008-05-14T13:21:00.000-05:00

Last week a few of us decided to post a "day in the life" of our children, just to give each other a peek into what a typical day might look like in our lives. I belong to a Mommy's board online, and we come from various areas of the US and Australia. Some are sahm's, and others work; regardless we all have one thing in common: our babies were born in July of 2007. We formed this networking via BabyCenter, and after having our children have moved onto a new forum-and have stayed in touch on a regular basis. Since Laura was my July baby, that's who I based my "day in the life" on, but obviously Alex is a part of our daily routine! I posted a more in depth routine on the board, but I'll leave this one watered down. I also have it broken into two parts because one is a typical weekend day and then the other is a typical week night since I couldn't get it all done in a day.

Part I
5:15 a.m. “mom, it’s not dark out”. To which my response was, Alex it is way too early you need to go back to bed. Whining ensued and I told him that he either had to walk back to his room or I would carry him-but regardless he needed to be quiet because his sister was sleeping. I’m assuming he fell back to sleep for a while cause I didn’t hear a peep until after 7. Since I had been woken I was pretty much up and down from 5:15 on.

7:15 Alex heads downstairs to park his butt on the couch and watch a little t.v. This is how he warms himself up to the day, and it’s essential that he get this time or the day can turn out pretty ugly. He’s not what I would call a happy person upon waking, he needs some time to figure out if the day is going to be a good one or not.
Laura on the other hand greets the day with a huge smile, and all she really requires is that shortly after you wake her-she wants to have a little breakfast.

Breakfast ensues, which usually consists of cheerios, toast, yogurt and fruit. And on Saturdays we have a little more time to dive into things like eggs, avocados, etc.

9:30 a.m.
Next it's time to head to the tub, Laura goes first and Alex follows shortly after

I folded a few loads of laundry, while the kids soaked. Laura finished up first, and then I filled the tub fuller so Alex can turn on the whirlpool. I let Laura play around after getting out of the tub to burn off some more energy, but then I pinned her down, oiled her up, and got her dressed.
After I laid her down, Alex was ready to get out of the tub ; so we got dressed and then headed outside for a while. During the morning I managed to get all our bedding washed, so that all got hung out to dry, I pulled out the annuals I bought yesterday and Alex watered them for me, then we hit the dirt pile , the sandbox, and playset
By then it was almost 11, so I went in to check on Laura and she was just waking (another hard nap as you can tell!)
I got a sweatshirt and some shoes on her, and we headed out side too. After playing in the grass for a while , we packed up in the backpack and headed down to the woods to take Mag for a little walk (as you can see, Mag's just a tad excited). While we were down there Laura got to see a bleeding heart for the first time up close, while Alex splashed in the water, and Mag chased squirrels. We came back and played by the playset for a bit .
12:30
Alex watched Cars, and Laura played while I prepped lunch for all of us. Nothing exciting, Laura had chicken and asparagus, fruit mix, and gold fish . Alex and I just had cheese pizza and applesauce. After filling her belly, she played for a while and then laid down for a short nap. Her brother leads me to believe that he was probably up for good at 5:15 a.m. when I find him like this watching his movie after lunch . He usually never falls asleep on the couch.
2:30
Laura woke after a short nap, then after talking on the celly for a bit (she already looks like a pro) we went outside to play a little more and keep the house nice and quiet for her brother. She chomped on some pizza crust for a snack, as Mag supervised her.
And that concludes Part I.
(I'll just throw this one in for good measure).

Part II
This is a typical week night for us.

4:30 (Yeah for summer hours)
Arrive home after work, and a day at the sitters. Laura usually falls asleep on the way home , and she usually sleeps for an hour or so. She never sleeps near as much at the sitter as she does at home-I think all the excitement around her gets the best of her, so she sleeps like a log at home.

While she's napping, Alex and I mowed part of the lawn together (sorry no photo). After 30 minutes or so I stopped and waited for Laura to wake. Meanwhile, Alex "had to go pee outside". This is a man thing, because he gets the biggest kick out of not having to go in the house.

Yesterday we planted some zinnias and morning glorys in front of the barn , the kids supervised while I did the planting.

When Laura woke they had some puff snacks, and played w/ bubbles. , and here's Alex enjoying his puffs , when this kid enjoys something-he thoroughly enjoys it, he's similar when he's eating guacamole and chips, it's so funny.

6 p.m. Dad still wasn't home so we walked down to Grandma Bonnie's to visit for a while. Shortly after arriving there, dad got home and came and got Alex on the four wheeler. So Laura, Mag and I headed back. .

We've been in dire need of going to Walmart for the past week, so since I didn't make supper-I figured it'd be a good night to go into town for supper and a walmart run. I swear, walking into that store is like walking into a damn carnival. . . Sadly, this is what $125 gets us, and we didn't even get any formula!

9 p.m. Laura is usually in bed around 8 and Alex between 8:30 and 9, so it is late for us. As you can see, Laura is pissed that her nightly routine has been messed w/ . And Alex is getting himself dressed for bed . Laura gets a little playtime while her brother is going to the bathroom and cleaning up for the night , then it's off to bed we go. She was serious as can be about her bottle tonight, most nights she's a character-Jason had to immitate her seriousness . So while dad gave sissy her bottle, I read Alex the first of his two nightly books-by the time we got to the second, sis was down for the night and dad came in to hear the last of it. Goodnight little sissy girl .

School Days

2008-05-07T13:28:00.000-05:00

"School" has been a heavy topic in our household the past couple weeks. Between Alex, me, and Jason we've all been busy contemplating/taking steps/or planning about our future school endeavors.

Alex is enrolled in Grace Lutheran's Pre-K 3 year old program next fall, and we are very excited for him to start. When people hear that I've enrolled him in something like this, they get a false sense that I'm sending him to school to learn, when that is not my intention at all-I am actually looking forward to furthering his socialization skills. Grace offers a 50/50 play/academic atmosphere for their 3 year old program, so it's not exactly "school". It will give him an opportunity to engage with a different group of kids, different from daycare or Sunday School. It also starts to give him a consistency in the academic side of things, and introduces the concept of following specific directions. I'm looking forward to seeing how he likes the program.

Jason took an Accuplacer exam earlier this week, which is basically an exam you have to take because you didn't complete an ACT or SAT upon high school graduation. It's a measurement of basic skill levels in reading, writing and math. He scored well in reading and writing, but not so much in the math. He seemed discouraged when he got home, but I assured him that anybody that hasn't thought about math in the sense of Algebra and Geometry in 10 years would have done the same. And I also reminded him that math doesn't mean measurements in 16th's. Being out of school for so long takes a lot of motivation to go back, but once you do-it's hard to explain that how you view school is completely different. Jason is looking into the Civil Engineering program w/ an emphasis on structural engineering, this is offered as an associates degree through MPTC. He's going to be taking an Algebra warmup course this summer, and then start w/ his curriculum in the Fall. Just like me, he'll be working at it parttime, so it will be a work in progress. Being self-employed with a family to support, I think it's important for him to give himself something to fall back on when he moves on to that next step in life-he's talented in construction, in both the mental and physical aspect of things-I think this degree helps him to utilize the best of both worlds. Being a student myself, any encouragement given is a nice reminder of who your support systems are-Jason would probably appreciate some encouragement himself the next time you see him.

I am enrolled at MPTC in the IT Tech Support Specialist program and anticipate graduating next Spring. I only have 5 courses to complete, so I feel as if it's right at my fingertips. Part of me wants to dive in and take 3 classes next Fall (in hopes of graduating sooner), but then I remind myself that I have a working life outside of school, that includes 2 small children. I also think, what's the hurry? And in the same breath part of me starts thinking even further-like continuing to work at my Bachelor's as soon as I wrap up my associates. School is almost addicting, it's as if I'm almost finished w/ what I had in mind-but I'm looking for more before I'm even done. I'm looking into to the MAAP at Marian College, majoring in General Management. The accelerated program is very inviting-1 night a week, classes only lasting 6 weeks long and running year round. Before anyone says (or thinks it) I fully realize that these courses will be 20 times harder than my current courses-so I need to take that into consideration as well. Why Marian? Ripon College is a member of the ACM, basically a consortium of private colleges in the Midwest; one of our fringe benefits is that we, our spouse or our children can attend RC free of cost (w/ the exception of books and room & board). We can also attend other colleges in the ACM at an 80% discount, which is where Marian comes into the picture. Not many liberal colleges offer non-traditional courses or programs, especially only 20 minutes from home-so that is why I'm looking into that one.

All of these thoughts, and then the next day-I'd rather go down to working part-time in an effort to stay home with my kids more. And 'd like to emphasize part-time, because those of you that know me, know my patience couldn't withstand being a fulltime sahm. Working fulltime you miss a lot of the firsts, someone else defines what consistencies your kids go by until 5 p.m., and you have to work together with someone else on the important things like discipline, potty training, and naps. I've been blessed with a wonderful caregiver in Tammy, she loves my kids as if they are her own-so that is some solace to me. Unfortunately staying home isn't an option for me right now, but I hope sometime in the future we can make it work. Kids are only young once, and while I do make the most of my time-there's not enough time in the day for spending quality time with the one's you love the most when it has to be squeezed in on weeknights and weekends.

I don't know what the right answer is, or which way I'll go-but when the time comes, something will happen that will let me know what the right direction is.

Rocky Mountain High

2008-05-01T09:42:00.000-05:00

We returned safely from our vacation out to Colorado, to visit my sister and her family. We left last week Wednesday, and returned early yesterday afternoon; since my sister had a long weekend off of work it worked out great. The kids did a great job both on the trip out there, and again on the trip back. I'm sure they were both exhausted from the excitement and just lack of usual routine, so that helped them catch up a bit before having to go back into the real world today.

It's not that often you can go on a vacation with two young children, and seamlessly fit into another household; but that's pretty much what we did. Sure we had a truck full of suitcases, fishing poles, tools, etc; but my sister makes it pretty easy for us to move about our day. From a pak n play, to stroller, to monitors, to air mattresses, and an entire quarter of their house dedicated to us; we were able to just fit right in w/ out the caios of packing our entire house. Not to mention having to turn their house into a tornado as well. Those of you with children can appreciate when someone does this for you.

We have been to Colorado many times, with each trip very different as we get older and our lives change. We used to go there with flyfishing and a daily hike the only thing on our to do list. Now we go there to visit family, enjoy some scenery, and maybe be lucky if we head out to the mountains or foothills for a few hours. With younger children in tow that's perfectly o.k., they have some of the nicest parks you will ever see, and just getting outside to enjoy the fresh air is enough for my kids. It's not that often you can sit on your back deck with a view of the Rocky Mountain front range-on a clear day it's breath taking.

We did manage to make it up to Estes shopping, and for a quick loop around the park (in an effort to get Alex to fall asleep). Jason got the opportunity to fish a few times, and I got a little more time to myself this trip around too which was nice. We were able to be there for Ari's 5th birthday, and helped her celebrate her getting a cubbies patch. Ari's "been waiting to turn 5 all her life", so you can imagine how happy was to share it with some of her family. Alex got to swim with Maddie on her last night of swimming, even though they had to endure arctic temps. Ari loves horses, so she took us to the Anheiser Busch brewery where they house some of the Clydesdales filmed in their commercials. And those are just a few of the things that come to mind, but more importantly we just got to spend quality time with my sister and her family. I also have a few friends that live at far distances, so I know all too well how hard it is to divide your time between everyone when you are home-so it was nice to just have that time to ourselves with them, in their own element. It is just icing on the cake when you have a Rocky Mountain view!

Thanks Mischo Family.

If you'd like to view some photos of our trip, visit: http://picasaweb.google.com/dobiluvr/Colorado

Colorado Bound

2008-04-22T08:50:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow we are heading off on our first family vacation since the addition of Laura. We're taking off by 7 in the morning, and plan on driving all day with hopes of making it across the state of Nebraska. If everything goes accordingly, then we'll only have a few hours of driving come Thursday and will arrive to my sisters in the early afternoon. I'm sure many of you are laughing at the thought of a 9 month old and 3 year old getting packed in a car for 14-16 hour trip, but I'm sure they will be just fine; actually I just keep my eye on the prize of getting to see my sister and her family for a long weekend, and it's all worth it in the end.

Some of you know that my mom and I made this trip w/ the kids last summer, and they did pretty well. I'm hoping Alex's newfound love of watching movies will be to our advantage this trip, and Laura will be the only one we really need to entertain. Once we get to Wyoming, Alex will get to see trains going back and forth on the track next to the interstate-so it makes those last couple hours go a little faster. I'm just looking forward to getting a driving break this time around. . .

It's a work/vacation trip, as Jason is going to be doing a little work for them; but hopefully everything is wrapped up for the weekend so that we can finally enjoy some r&r. We don't have any specific goals in mind, except I'd like to get up to Estes Park and Jason would probably like to get some fly fishing in. Laura was still too little to go up into higher altitudes last summer, so it will be nice to get back to RMNP for a short hike. Otherwise just enjoying the fact that we are away, and spending time with family we don't get to see as much will be relaxation enough.

So you won't hear from me for a week or so, and the next post will probably be a long one filled with lots of photos. Take care everyone!

I'm 3 years old, I'm 3 years old

2008-04-21T10:43:00.000-05:00

That is the verse we couldn't quite get Alex to sing for his birthday party yesterday, but that's o.k. He's a very remarkable little boy, but usually takes a bit to warm up-and there are certain things that make him shy or quiet (something he probably inherited from me) and singing in front of a group of people happens to be one of those things.

His actual birthday is tomorrow; but weekends work out better for a celebration and we are leaving for Colorado on Wednesday. It was our first real party at the "new" farmhouse, and it felt good to have a big group of family and friends. It was even nicer to have the room to accommodate everyone inside and out. The weather was gorgeous, so luckily most of the festivities were outside. Jason and I were up until 1:30 the night before in preparation; he worked on the deck, and I worked on cleaning the hardwoods and boiling brats. I had spent a good majority of the day cleaning, so on Sunday we could just get the food ready, put a few decorations up and be done w/ it.

We had Sunday School and church in the morning, and then came home to more running to get balloons, finish cleaning odd and ends, and just getting ready overall. Luckily I had two eagar babysitters in my nieces who came over both days this weekend just to play with the kids.

Finally it was party time, and we actually had a lot more little kids than I anticipated. It was fun to see all those little feet running around the house, and hard to believe that these were all the children mostly of high school friends. When you're playing the part of a parent-it's still hard to believe that we were all "kids" at one point and now our own kids are playing together.

Alex enjoyed his cake, and his pinata, and all the wonderful gifts he received from others. Last night before saying goodnight we had our usual little chat about the day, and when I asked if he had fun at the party-his eyes were barely open, but he got this huge grin on his face and whispered "yes". That made all the preparation worth every minute.

And She's Off . . . .

2008-04-14T09:53:00.000-05:00

Crawling that is, as of last week Laura is officially a crawler. Some days she's a little more ambitious than other's, especially at night time when you place her bottle at the foot of the stairs-she's generally a girl on a mission, and by the time she gets to the bottle she's all sweated up and out of breath. Almost every time she gets about half way, breaks down w/ a big pouty lip and possible tears, but we cheer her on and she finds the stamina she needs to make it there. I'm sure soon enough we'll be trying to slow her down, so I'll enjoy this time while I can.

Weekends are time for relaxation, running errands, cleaning, and doing the things we can't find time for during the week. The size of our house jumped considerably when we moved into the farm, so I devised a plan that I would try to clean it by sections (for instance bathrooms one day, bedrooms another, stairs on another, and lastly the downstairs) then it wouldn't seem like such a feat the day before say, a birthday party. I also try to throw a few loads of laundry in at night after work, cause that in itself could take an entire day. Bottom line is that I don't want to spend my weekends cleaning my house, Saturday the kids and I spend the day together and then Sunday is Church and Alex's proclaimed "play outside w/ dad" day.

Yesterday while Alex was helping dad build the front deck, Laura and I took the opportunity to visit my grandma. Granny Ruth lives in an assisted living facility in Brandon, and while I don't get over there enough-I do try to get over there when I can. I like to take Laura specifically because it's amazing watching old eyes light up when you enter the room w/ a baby, it's as if they have a gravitational aura that instantly puts a smile on their face. Granny has been there for a few years now, as have some of the other residents so when you walk in-it's as if you're greeting a family: the other people who live there, and the staff who supports the residents. Donna is a quiet but friendly lady who suffers from Alzheimer's-it's a given when we go there that I will probably be asked "what's her name, or is that a boy or a girl?" a few times within a short timeframe. Dorothy is a quiet lady who sits in her wheelchair most of the time, doesn't say much but just smiles and says "look at the baby". And then there's Laura, a sharp woman who I believe used to be a teacher. When we walked into the dining area yesterday, she didn't make mention of baby, just directly asked how old she was-and upon me telling her 9 months, Laura promptly said "she must be sitting by herself, and possibly crawling?" When I confirmed she was a crawler, she said-"studies show that early crawlers are better readers". I just smiled, then the woman asked what her name was-you can imagine the excitement when I responded w/ "Laura". "That is an 'old' name" she said, to which I told her that Laura was named after her great-grandmother so indeed it was a name of older generations. And there are a few other ladies, but those are the 3 that stood out upon yesterday's visit. Lastly, after playing show and tell w/ my baby, I go over to my main reason for coming-there sits my grandmother at the dining room table. A woman who once prided herself on her self-sufficiency sits at the table waiting to be fed her dinner. Parkinson's and a temporal inflammation have left her quiet, shaking, and unable to see anything out of her right eye-and minimal out of her left eye. The past 2 years have transformed her into a person that we barely recognize, but we just continue to tell ourselves that the old Granny is still in there someplace. When we go to visit, we're lucky if we get a laugh or a goodbye out of Grandma. It's the small things that I look for-the way she looks for Laura's little face when she'd normally sit w/ her eyes closed while others converse around her; the way she grabs for those little hands and feels every little piece of Laura's body; the way Laura doesn't let her close her eyes because she's constantly poking or prodding at her face, hands, arms, legs and feet. While Granny doesn't say a thing, her natural instincts with a child still let me know that grandma's spirit is still very much alive inside her. Her biggest pride was her grandchildren (14) and great-grandchildren (33+), I am the youngest grandchild and my children fall on the latter part of that timeline. So it's in these short visits that I do my best to try and get my children to know my own grandmother, Alex is to the age where going scares him a bit-so I will take Laura as much as I can until she reaches that point. It's amazing how one little angel can lift so many spirits in such a small amount of time-in those that make it apparent, and in the one who doesn't say a word (and means the most).

Potty Training 101 (Man vs. Woman)

2008-04-09T08:44:00.000-05:00

With the house now being done, we can finally focus on more important things in our life. At the moment that happens to be working with Alex to get himself potty trained. Every day is different, and it's usually an all or nothing thing-he's either game for training that day or he isn't. Since Jason is self-employed we try to save ourselves a little money in daycare, so Jason works Tues-Saturday and stays home with the kids most Mondays. The weekends are the best times for us to focus on this because Alex gets a good 3 days of consistency, and it's when we have our most success. This past Monday I jumped off the cliff and scheduled an appointment for both kids to have professional photographs taken simultaneously. It has been a year and half since Alex's last "nice" photo, and Laura hasn't even had one taken yet due to the chaos the last year has been.

Since I didn't go to work this particular day, I got to start the day out at a more relaxed pace. Teri's definition of "relaxed pace" means I was able to drink a couple cups of coffee before I walked out the door, and I would be able to shave my legs in the shower. As I was enjoying the latter part of my relaxation, I hear the door open to the bathroom. "Mom, gotta poop" Alex tells me, since Jason happens to be home I tell Alex to go let his dad know-so I didn't have to interrupt my leg shaving time. I hear the door shut, and assume that Alex has went to tell Jason about his plans. I finish up and grab my towel as I'm getting out of the shower and as I shut the closet door, I catch Alex out of the corner of my eye-apparently he decided he couldn't wait, and had taken the liberty of putting the seat on, pulling the stool up to the toilet and parking his butt for a while. He got up, and proclaimed in a stern voice "Pooped mommy". That was my cue to make sure he was clean and ready to face his day, being a mom-I've seen poop a few million times, so I took Alex at his word, and didn't feel the need to double-check it right away. Well, Alex being a boy, opened up the door and yelled "Pooped Daddy!!!"; Jason being a man, felt the need to come examine what was left in the toilet. I continue to try and get ready for my day, and all the "poop excitement" around me continues as Jason comes in, he looks in the toilet and as serious as a heart attack says "he didn't do that, did he?!" Honestly, only a man would even consider that his wife would do something like that and then to think that I would ploy my kid to get him to come look at it?! Instead of interrogating me, I'm surprised he wasn't gloating about his kid's new found (and probably inherited-or so Jason would say) talent.

So that particular day was a success, as was the next day, and this morning as well. Some days are better than others, but we know that he'll eventually get there-when he decides that it's time. Until then, we won't push-we just try to celebrate like Rock Stars when he does do well.

Welcome

2008-04-08T16:32:00.000-05:00

To those of you who have received an invite-I've done so because I get sick of sending emails or copying and pasting information from one person to the next. I never remember what I've sent who-and who's requesting what. I figure if it's all in one central location, then people can look when they want.

This blog is about typical or unique days in my life which would include work, school, home, and most importantly, my children. I don't intend on posting every day, heck once a week will probably be a feat-but I will do my best.

Basic information about myself. . .

Work: I work fulltime at Ripon College as Assistant Director to the Information Technology Services department w/ an emphasis on "desktops and student computing". Many people wonder, what does this really mean? Basically, I get paid to:

configure computers that are rolled out on a 3 year lease cycle, every year we have a "batch" of systems that needs to be refreshed

asset manage where our current systems are

proactively troubleshoot known issues prior to returning current systems to keep casualties to a minimum

coordinate purchase orders and returns for all systems (fancy word for box old systems, and make room for new ones) And I've actually graduated to hiring my own student workers for this purpose-man I'm moving up in the world

create master image, deploy to all new systems, and deliver new systems to end users

support end users

manage a student worker staff which provides troubleshooting services to the student body

and many other little trivial things that come with working in the IT department

Wow, I didn't realize how much I do-guess I know where to look when it comes time to start polishing up that resume!

School: I'm currently attending Moraine Park Technical College as a part-time student to obtain my IT Tech Support Specialist Associates Degree. Many people think to themselves "why associate?", well for some reason I'm doing this ass-backwards and getting my degree in what I actually do. I figure it gives me some competency in my position, RC has offered to pay for it, and if for some reason I ever decide to leave RC-I may have given myself a few more options. I also don't have the time or mental ability (at this point in my life) to devote to a Bachelor's. It is my goal to eventually obtain a BS, but for now baby steps are good enough for me. I have about a year left (at my current pace) until I graduate. I'm hoping to graduate w/ a cumulative GPA of 3.9 or better.

Home: Well most of you know my home life, otherwise you probably wouldn't be here. Anyways, Jason and I live in our recently remodeled farmhouse. It was what we would call our "labor of love", while I can attest that those 10 months ensued some of the best and worst times of our life so far-it was well worth it in the end. We live at home with our two children, and Mag-my 9 year old dobe.

Children: And most importantly I will wrap this up with those two little angels who give me an even better reason to wake up every day. Alex, my son, is quickly approaching 3 years old; and Laura who is almost 9 months old. These are the subjects that will probably receive the most attention on this blog, as you know-I love to snap photos, and update people on their latest milestones.

So, welcome to my world.