Manpleaser

Now before you go getting too excited, this isn’t a sexual innuendo. Every year about this time I take a dive into the single parenting lifestyle, while Jason heads out west on a hunting trip for a week. I also get to hear women around me make note that their husband, significant other, etc. are deep in the throes of the Wisconsin early whitetail archery hunting season, quickly approaching opening gun hunting weekend. Men flock to the woods to find their solace, note deer patterns, or simply just get lucky on the buck of a lifetime.

Most know my upbringing, if not-I’ll fast forward you: my father is an avid hunter, when I was growing up if he wasn’t working, he was hunting or fishing. When he wasn’t doing that, he was drinking. It was a pattern my mom knew all too well, I watched as my father did whatever the hell he wanted-whenever he wanted. I can attribute my feelings on hunting, or anything extra-curricular for that matter, to this scenario in my life. Please note, this is my opinion-ahem, this is my blog-so while you can respect it, you don’t necessarily have to agree with it.

I have to laugh when I hear women jumping through hula hoops during this time of the year. Johnny has basketball, Sarah has piano, but Dan has to go hunting, so I need to get the kids taken care of. Has being the key word here. You have to sleep for your brain to function correctly, you have to drink water and take in nourishment to survive-you don’t have to go deer hunting, or for a beer, or fill in the blank. How about, if it works in everyone’s schedule, then Dan is heading out hunting; sound a little more respectful?

But Dan works all day, and I just stay home; he deserves some time to himself. After all he is the one financially supporting the family, it’s the least we can do for him. Or, while the kids are young it’s not really a big deal if he sits around drinking after work most days of the week-as long as he’s around later in life, right? Or this is my favorite; I don’t want to be that nagging wife, I wanna be the woman all the other guys wished was their wife. I could go on and on and on with the scenarios, but you get the point.

You’ll probably be shocked to find out that Jason actually coined the term “manpleaser”, he defines it as a woman who will do anything to keep her man happy, they tend to live this fantasy life where they give the façade that everything is wonderful-when in reality, they’re lives are just as effed up as the next woman, they just haven’t apparently come to terms with it.

A few short years ago I was working fulltime, while Jason was pursuing his dream of his own construction business. It didn’t cross my mind that him allowing me to do something was “the least he could do”. I’m guessing that assumption doesn’t quite cross the gender lines that easily. And that beer so desperately needed after work in the single life was cool, but after kids-it just doesn’t make any sense for little kids to sit at home and wait/expect a parent to come home, and then be met by the “dad wasn’t home to kiss you goodnight cause he had to stay late for a beer w/ the guys”.

Kids are only young once, and the things you might think they don’t notice-they will. When they’re teenagers consumed by sports, extra-curriculars, and life in general that parents probably won’t be cool enough to be a part of-then by all means, hit that wooded path, or crack open that beer. I wondered if Jason had estrogen flowing through his veins one night when he said “I’m glad my rope is tight, because I’d feel pretty damn guilty if it weren’t.” No, he wasn’t born that way-how do you think he coined the term? Just another example of how our life experiences shape the people we become. That’s not to say Jason never gets to go hunting or drinking-ask him, he’s given his options: which typically come in the form of “pick a night”. Um, here we have two people, both going to school, one working fulltime, one five year old currently going through behavioral issues due to me starting to stay home with the two other girls, one enlightening little three year old who is constantly climbing that ladder to top her brother, and poke and prod her little sister, and a one year old finding her personality to fit into all of “this”-that doesn’t even include the weekly schedule! Because of these 51 weeks out of the year you will find me laughing at the thought that deer hunting is even remotely close to the top of our priority list.

My new FB status: so starts my week long stint of being a manpleaser.